Fire In My Belly
What Fires Me Up & Keeps Me Going…
Before I get started I would like to thank Lottie Moore for suggesting what to write about today.
Growing up, like many people, I thought I had nothing to offer; in fact, I thought I was another “casualty” of the system.
I didn’t know anything about purpose or mission; I didn’t understand that people who were successful were so because they had something that kept them going.
I am going to be brutally honest, I was the result of the programming I was passed down by my environment, this includes my family, teachers, genetics, etc., etc.
Again, in those days I didn’t know any of the things I now know, you could say that my ignorance was my bliss (or lack there of!).
I believe I have mentioned that I felt life was against me (yes, I know I can be a bit of a “drama queen, I am a Latino, what do you expect?), it truly felt that way…
I was bullied (BTW I know there are many I’s on this blog so far– I will be less self-centred in a sec!), I used to say: “this is life”; so I got on with it.
I felt I didn’t belong where I was, I was different, I couldn’t quite figure out how or why I was different.
Yes, I had that inner battle going on that I didn’t know why I liked boys and then society and everyone around me was expecting me to like girls.
But that wasn’t the reason why I felt different. I just knew there had to be another reason.
My relationship with my mother was not the greatest, in fact we were (and still are) very alike; equally my relationship with my brother was not that good either.
My other relatives, well, what can I say? We had nothing in common (still to this very day we have nothing in common), my neighbours were sporty (I was a geek), my school peers were just a by-product of going to school.
Both my childhood and teenage were very lonely, I was in a quest of finding out more about myself, the world and the universe.
If you haven’t read my book Growing Confident (which I highly recommend BTW!), I was outed as gay, my mother found out from someone I trusted.
Life just seemed to crumble in a matter of days, I went from being almost empty to being totally empty.
My heart and soul ripped apart, I felt even worse than I did in the years prior to that moment.
As I mentioned yesterday on the 27th of March 2000 I had an OD I didn’t feel there was any point.
Five hours later I was woken up by my mother (who was clueless as to what I had done!), and that was my sign… That 27th of March at 7PM I knew what my purpose was… That was my rock bottom and my awakening…
After all this melodrama you might be asking yourself, what has this got to do with what fires you up?
Well, let me tell you, everything…
Nowadays I live to inspire and motivate people who like me (like my former self more accurately put) feel they have nothing to offer, nothing to give and that life is against them.
Breathing life and sharing love is what fires me up.
Knowing that I can make a difference in someone’s life is what keeps me going no matter what, because I was born in place where I had nothing, I felt out of place and confused, I felt rejected, I was down (without knowing) and I overcame it, I came out of it (and literally LOL); so I know what it is like, first-hand.
Though, in that moment of my “Hero’s Journey” when I visited the abyss I was blessed with love and life, not to keep to myself, but to share and ensure that everyone I meet and get to know too benefits and learn that it doesn’t matter what is happening today if you allow yourself to imagine a better tomorrow, that it will happen.
Nothing makes me happier than knowing that people are following their purpose, their mission, their why because we all have a “raison d’etre” (a reason to be) as the French would say; there is something bigger and better than us out there that needs what we have to offer.
When I didn’t know I was worth something, when I felt I had nothing to give or offer, I felt empty because I hadn’t discovered that I mattered, that whatever I wanted to do could be possible, today I know better.
Today, I help others to achieve success and become more confident about their abilities and their future.
I am a Mind & Soul Awakener (what on earth is this you might be asking?), this basically means I enable people to awaken to their full potential and in the process realign their minds and souls.
What about the body (just in case you are wondering!)? Remember the saying, Mind over matter? That’s what the body is (matter), when your mind and soul are realigned and in the right place everything else falls in the right place.
This is what fires me up, knowing that I can help people who are in the same situation I once was; it wasn’t easy, it wasn’t pretty, it wasn’t were I wanted to be (though, it felt I would stay there forever); then I was guided to my purpose.
I was shown that I mattered, that I had something to give, I had a gift, I was the gift.
Guess what? This is what I do with my clients.
I help them realise that they matter, they have something to give, they are a gift.
This truly is what fires me up.
Sharing life and love and making a difference in people’s lives.
Please share with others and leave a comment.
With all my love.
From my heart to yours,