You’ll Never Guess What Happened To Me Today…!
We are constantly being triggered, all the time, by different events, people, memories; pretty much anything.
But, what happens when you are unaware of these triggers?
What is a trigger?
Before I go any further, I will explain what a “trigger” is, it is a stimulus that gets a “reaction” from us.
For example, if we hear a song we used to listen decades ago, that song has the potential to make us relive those past experiences; it is that powerful.
We are surrounded by these triggers, some we are conscious about and others, well, we aren’t as conscious, which means they affect us and we don’t know about it.
When we aren’t aware of these triggers, we don’t know how they affect us or what is causing that reaction; so, there is nothing we can do about it.
On the other hand, things change when you know what “triggers” you; you have choices as to whether you react to them or not!
You’ll never guess what happened to me today…!
You probably got it!
I was “triggered” by someone…
How did it react???
At first I did my very best to avoid saying anything, I don’t feel I have to tell everyone that their actions or words have an impact on me and in me.
Things do change, however, when after a while your body starts to respond to these triggers.
It is at this point I choose to let the other person know what is happening.
That is exactly what happened today.
I was on the phone speaking to someone, his voice loud and gets to you, that is by-the-by BTW; this person also uses very negative language, which doesn’t resonate very well with me.
I should also add I am this person’s client and therefore I feel and believe my opinion matters, especially if I am paying for a service.
So, we were on the phone for over 30 minutes, this person gave me all the possible negative scenarios; as an individual I care more about options than “problems”.
Then, I started to get a headache (I never do!), my body was tensing up, I was grinding my teeth and my voice was being raised gradually as the conversation continued…
I stopped and said: are you open to feedback?
He said yes!
So, I said: could you please use a different language when you speak to me, you have no idea how such “negativity” affects me and I feel I should tell you as we do business together, and it is the least I can so this relationship isn’t affected by it.
I am sorry (in a non-apologetic manner), and very little was accomplished.
He continued to apologise saying he can’t change the way he is.
To which I replied, you do not have to change, on the contrary, I don’t want you to change, I want you to know how the language you use at times affects me; and you never know, other people may feel the same way too, they just don’t say it, they aren’t as honest as I am!
The reason I share this with you today is because it doesn’t matter how much you work on yourself or the amount of personal development you do, there will always be things that “annoy” you and “irritate” you.
I was relieved I shared my “emotions” with this person because that way he knows how to best communicate with me next time. Had I not told him the way I felt I would have continued to dislike interacting with him, “hating” every second spent together and ultimately the relationship would have suffered and/or ended.
I will be sleeping very well tonight because I did what was best for both parties, I expressed my concerns and the way it was affecting me.
Do I feel bad for sharing my thoughts?
It would have cost me much more in the long run; it could have manifested itself in so many ways I don’t want explore and these ways go way beyond the mental aspect, they could have the potential to affect me physically in the future too.
Even to this moment I still have a headache from that conversation because I let it go longer than it should have gone.
So, just imagine what years and years of neglecting these triggers can do to you physically and mentally?
I hope you have enjoyed today’s blog post, don’t forget to like, comment and share.
With lots of love,