How many times have we all heard that first impressions are EVERYTHING!
So many people say that people will decide whether they like us or not in the first 7-11 seconds or thereabouts.
I agree with the fact that sometimes people make some remarkable first impressions, and please notice how I have said remarkable and not good or bad.
At the same time I have been in some “first impressions” where I have been influenced by others.
With this being said I ask myself the following question: are we robbing ourselves from something good when we let these first impressions deceive us?
Today I would like to share a story, the day I met a lady, whose name and nationally I won’t reveal; though, I will share the rest of the story.
This lady in her late 20’s when she started her current role was “labeled” as cold, crude, cruel and heartless by her colleagues, in fact, even before I met this lady I was “warned” about her “opinions” and overall views about everything.
When hearing about this lady, I can’t lie, I was “intrigued” as to what she was like and whether what she was described as, was real or not.
Before I continue with this story, I want to share with you a lesson I learned when I was in my teens.
A person close to me did their best to influence my opinion of somebody else close to me at the time.
I remember hearing at all times how this person was a liar and a cheat and was good for nothing.
In the end, I didn’t trust that person and it had a great impact in my relationship with this person, still to this date I am doing my best to ammend that relationship.
Equally, I started to distrust the other person and I am still working on my relationship with this person…
Going back to the lady in her 20’s…
First thing I remembered when I was told and “warned” about her was the story I just mentioned.
At first, I was in two minds…
A part of me wanted to believe those who “warned” me and the most “sensible” part of me was saying: give her a chance.
For months, each and every time I saw this lady I was “careful” and I would watch her with care.
At times, what I was told about would be confirmed by her actions, I had the evidence is was looking for… The others were right after all!
Again, the sensible part of me was suggesting to keep my options open!
After months of seeing this lady on a semi weekly basis I am delighted to say that I found the real person.
This lady is lovely, caring, kind and playful…
It turns out she is the complete opposite of what she was described as in the first place.
What I learned
I discovered that first impressions are nothing, they are a lie that prevent us from getting to know the real person.
I learned that people deserve the “chance” we feel we deserve.
I truly go by the saying:
Treat people the way you wish/want to be treated.
Lastly, I learned that the best opinion we can go by when “judging” others is our own.
So, in the end I am glad I decided to ignore other people’s opinions about this lady because I would have missed out on some good conversations and fun.
This is what I can now say about first impressions:
Are we missing out by “judging”, “sorting”, “labelling” and “categorising” people?
Do we have to go by that first impression and forget:
- People are anxious when they first meet new people,
- People are shy in new and strange environments,
- People need time to open up,
- That everyone deserves time to settle in and feel at ease,
- That we once too, wanted to be welcomed without any judgements or reservations, and
- That a first impression isn’t everything.
What are your thoughts on first impressions?
I would love to hear in the comments box.
Till next time,