How To Be More Confident?
Who doesn’t want more confidence these days? We hear in the media children, teenagers and adults all being bullied, we hear of people taking advantage of their positions and roles; we hear how discrimination and hatred are seen almost everywhere.
Having more confidence would most definitely give you the strength, capacity and understanding to deal with these situations even better.
However, most of us grow thinking and believing that living the way we have always known is our reality, so we become resigned and learn to do nothing about it.
This conditioning which can be intentional or unintentional becomes our truth and we never learn to be more than we have always been; we go to school, university and work feeling less than others, not good enough for our job and most definitely not deserving of love.
Why become more confident?
In my personal experience when I learned to exercise my confidence my whole life changed, I was able to express my ideas, concerns and disagreements freely without fearing I’d be judged or not even listened to.
People started to pay more attention to me, they wanted my company AND they’d almost always ask me for my opinion. My life totally transformed for the better, I went from feeling invisible to feeling wanted and needed by others.
Just 9 short months after my suicide attempt I found love, after I felt I was not attractive enough and underserving of love too!
Things continued to improve in my 20’s and they still get better and better, simply because I grow in confidence with each day.
Remember confidence is a skill, so the more you practice and exercise it the better you get at it, learning and growth never EVER ends!
How to be more confident?
You might be wondering how can I have a slice of that cake? Or perhaps you are already working on it and you want to enjoy more of this incredible experience.
The first step to take to be more confident is to acknowledge and recognise there is a lack of self-confidence/self-esteem, that something isn’t working.
This first step is awareness, which is the first step for any change in our lives.
Once you declare you aren’t as confident as you’d like to be, assess where you are in the scale of 0-10, 0 being no confidence whatsoever to 10 being I am the bee’s knees in confidence.
Be honest when you score yourself, remember the more you know about your current situation the more you can do to create a compelling and attractive future for your self as a confident person.
Lastly, learn what is missing in your life so that you can become more confident, this could be learning how to speak to others, or how to break the ice, or how to talk to strangers.
We are all unique and we all have different confidence levels.
In my case I had to learn to do 3 things to start believing I could be confident, these were:
- There was nothing wrong with being gay.
- I wasn’t unattractive and unlovable, and
- I could love myself.
Once I worked on these beliefs I had, I started to say to myself: there is nothing wrong with being gay, I am attractive and lovable, AND I love myself no matter what.
I overcame those unnecessary beliefs by using affirmations, so overtime I started to believe these things and to project them, too.
What are your beliefs or ideas of yourself that by changing them you can start to move towards your confident self?
Becoming confident isn’t rocket science, it requires awareness, the desire to improve and practice so over time you become the confident self you have always known yourself to be.
Are there any other ways to become more confident?
I learned to be more confident after my suicide attempt, I felt I was given a second chance AND I surrounded myself with people who encouraged me to be more and better, and I also sought professional help.
Working alone can be daunting and scary, we are blessed there are many experts out there who can help us achieve our goals.
If you feel you need the support of a professional, then engage with a confidence coach who can guide you through their techniques to help you become more confident.
Transformation mustn’t be scary or frightening, let a professional work with you and guide you to your confident self.
Magic happens outside the comfort zone, confidence happens outside the comfort zone and must of our dreams await us outside of our comfort zone, too!
To be more confident we must have an awareness that we don’t have enough confidence, we ought to score how confident we are in the scale of 0-10, then we must identify what we need more of to be more confident and finally practice it until we become our confident selves.
Alternatively, working with a confidence coach could be the best way forward for most of us, as they share the journey with us and guide us in what can be a daunting and scary experience.
Thank you so much for reading today’s post and if you’d like to work with a confidence coach, why not book for a free-20 minutes consultation with me?
Til next time, with all my love,