My Week In 500 Words – v5
In the last few days I have been focusing my attention on spending some quality time with my brother and it has been great so far.
However, once you are in personal development as a coach or trainer you almost can’t ‘switch off’, even if you try!
So, one of the biggest lessons I have learned this week is on behaviours/conditioning, AND patterns and habits.
Let me explain further, even though I have not been a huge part of my brother’s life in the last 15 years, I noticed our behaviours and attitudes were still the same (after all these years!!!), he did things the way I knew him to do them all those years ago, so his responses, mannerisms and overall actions were the same as when he was a child!
This allowed me to confirm how our unique traits and behaviours are formed really early in our lives, without many of us even realising that the way we do things as children is pretty much the same way we will do them as adults (unless we train ourselves to do them differently, breaking those patterns and creating new strategies!), as Aristotle once said:
Give me a child until he is 7 and I will show you the man.
I left when my brother was 11 years of age, so 15 years later what I knew then is what I see today, also I was able to notice how some of my behaviours and mannerisms were there still and how new ones were there now in place due to the years I have invested in my personal growth.
Another fascinating thing I noticed is the roles we play in relationships, or relationship dynamics; even though we are men now my brother still behaves as my little brother, whereby I am the ‘adult’ one and he let’s me deal with everything! This is something I found mind-blowing as he is a parent himself (and I am not!!!).
Seeing these two things allowed me to reflect on how I too behave different with certain people or under specific circumstances, this made me thing of TA, Transactional Analysis where it is suggested we all play 1 of 3 roles at any given time: child, adult or parent.
It is a phenomenal experience when you are able to notice these patterns (that run our lives) and do something about them, in this case I contributed to my brother’s life by pointing this out, how he still behaves as a little brother around me and how even though we haven’t been in each other’s lives we still know each other the same, or if not better than we thought we did initially.
So, moving forward I will pay more attention to things I do around people I have known for a long time, as well as whether I am being the child, adult or parent in any relationship.
Thank you for reading, with all my love,