How Much Can A Conversation Help You?

We love to talk and have a conversation with everyone around us, these connect us and can be healing too, for all those involved.

Though, in my personal experience and that of my clients, family and friends we just talk about the superficial stuff and take everything else for granted OR we think others won’t care.

I used to withhold and be shallow and superficial in my conversations, they didn’t take me far and almost cost me my life.

I felt alone, lonely, unwanted and a burden to my family and society, but everyone thought I was fine and just another moody teenager.

The day after my suicide attempt that withholding stopped and I opened up, I spoke to someone about my life and how I felt.

That conversation without a shadow of a doubt saved my life, I learned people cared and they’d do whatever they can to help… all that is needed is for us to open up.

Why am I going on about this?

This year I have made myself the commitment to be there for everyone I know and to make new friends.

Today a friend phoned me and asked me round so I went and we had such a great conversation that lasted for hours.

What was great about this conversation was the generosity and honesty of every word spoken, we just had a real and open conversation.

We didn’t pretend to be anyone else but ourselves, we didn’t have to mind our every word and openly would disagree with each other without arguing about it.

That honesty and openness opened a gate of compliments and kindness and love that you don’t see every day.

Here is what we fail to do in our conversations, we are (or can be) very stingy and inauthentic… these create blockages and barriers that stop the real communication and there is almost no real content to it all.

It was a great reminder of the magic that takes place when we openly, honestly and humanly talk to another person AND the connection it strengthens, and the feeling afterwards is so rewarding.

Talking about ourselves can be scary and awkward at first but over time it gets easier to openly talk about what is worrying us and our concerns, and problems.

I invite you to have more open and honest conversations with your loved ones, and please let me know how these enrich your lives. Give it a go.

Till next time, with all my love,

Jorge

5 Lessons Learned From Watching Molly’s Game

5 Lessons Learned From Watching Molly’s Game


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These days it is almost essential to have a way to unwind and forget about stress or worries, just for a short while anyway.

Some of us are quite sneaky and savvy and take this unwinding period and get the most from it.

Remember you either go through your day or get from the day. I know what I’d much rather do…

As you will know I am a coach, trainer, author, poet, healer, chef, entrepreneur and I love learning; some would say I never switch off!

Some people say/ask how do they even relate?

They have two things in common me and Energy; Energy is in EVERYTHING and it is what makes things come together, make sense and materialise them before our own eyes.

So, on New Year’s day my partner and I went to the movies to watch Molly’s Game, I was expecting just another film with a bit of action here and there and when you stripped all the good bits away you’d end up with nothing.

Truth be told because of my vivid and wild imagination I find movies predictable, boring and quite frankly marketing vehicles where we all can see who is sponsoring the movie!!!

Boy meets girl, fights enemy, wins or loses and the end… Joseph Campbell’s The Hero’s Journey, story telling, novel writing 101…! – No sarcasm intended I promise! – OK, maybe a little.

My expectations were pretty low, I just fancied a nice time with my other half welcoming 2018 romantically and calmly.

But boy I was not expecting to get so many life lessons from that movie.

Here are the 5 lessons learned from watching Molly’s Game

1. We are too quick to judge our parents: Without going into too many details as to what happens in the movie, Molly’s relationship with her dad was far from ideal, leading to a broken relationship in her adult life, what she doesn’t know is that her dad always loved her and he was too ashamed of himself and what he had done in the past. We often judge our parents and create a story in our heads as to why they are the way they are, we buy into this story and we don’t let go of it. Parents are humans too and they do the best they can with the resources available to them. Let’s be kind to them (this includes me too!)!
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2. It only takes one second to change the course of our lives (for the better or for the worse!): Molly by many people’s standard was a bright kid with everything going for her, though one accident made her decide to take a year off and head to LA, there she meets someone who’d introduce her a life and lifestyle she’d soon become addicted to, getting deeper and deeper into an abyss of greed, luxuxy and a life many of us would consider impossible, yet she orchestrated it and created it herself from scratch, bringing to life the ideal fantasy for powerful men. Had that accident never happened, how would her life be different?
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3. Intelligence and potential does no equal success: it is hard to believe that someone bright, sharp and with the world at their feet would jeopardise it all by going in the opposite direction, sadly we all know that that is not the case. I have seen it in my life and with many of my clients, we seem to have it all set for us and events AND our sense of unworthiness sabotage it, and unavoidably we end up further away from where we were expected to be by ourselves and others. This reminds me something one of my tutors from college said to me once: real intelligence is not what you know but how you apply what you know.
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4. It is one belief or decision that shapes our lives and destiny: there is a powerful moment in the movie (I say powerful as it almost reduced me to tears!) where Molly is met by her dad and they had a long overdued conversation. Here her dad who in the movie is a psychologist says Molly you are addicted to the power over powerful men, that’s why you do what you do. Incredibly powerful statement and insight as to why she did what she did, loving the feeling of being in control and being powerful over the most influential and powerful men in the world, just because she wanted to prove to her dad she was powerful too! Awareness doesn’t get any better than this. One belief, one decision that drives to do unthinkable and crazy stuff without us being fully aware of it.

5. To wake up from our carelessness and destructive behaviours something bad has to happen: as crazy as it may sound we let things go further than they should. In the movie there are two scenes that were her wake-up call; the first one is when she gets a beating for not liaising with some gangsters and the second when the FBI gets involved! I know these are extreme cases but when we look around us people’s lives are transformed and shaped by violence, crime, abuse, drugs, alcohol, bullying. I have known of people who had to be arrested to start a ‘new life’, the death of a child or parent, illness and disease, it doesn’t matter how big or small it may appear to us but these pivotal moments have the leverage to force us to make new decisions.
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In conclusion 

I thoroughly enjoyed watching the movie and I felt I was the viewer who got away with all the good stuff. I felt truly blessed to have watched this movie and take this as a warning of how things can turn out IF I don’t stay on course or IF I don’t seek the help I need or IF I don’t get the support I need.

As Jim Rohn used to say there are two types of stories:
• Stories of success and inspiration, and
• Warnings: DO NOT DO THIS!!!

Surprisongly in Molly’s case her story is a bit of both: it is a warning and it is a success, waking up on time and turning her life around and sharing it with the world.

If you get the chance go and watch this movie and see it as more than a movie, well it is more than a movie as it is based on a true story and I believe she has been kind enough to share it with us.

I saw areas of my life in which I have been careless and now I can rectify them and stay on course, carry on with my purpose and continue to inspire others.

This is it for today. Carry on being awesome.

Before we say goodbay (for today) follow my blog and subscribe to my newsletter, too.

Have a sensational day.

With all my love,

Jorge

Once Upon A Time…

Once Upon A Time…

Once upon a time there was a very kind deity that gave all of his creation a whole new start.

Their lives started afresh and hope was renewed.

These beings (who totally underestimated what they were capable of) were given new opportunities annually.

365 days, composed of 52 weeks, 12 months, 8760 hours, 525600 minutes and 31536000 seconds filled with so much energy and all the required ingredients to make any of these beings successful and fulfilled beyond their wildest dreams and imagination.

At midnight where the old and the new year met and changed their course billions of these beings would make promises, cast wishes and would swear the year ahead would be their best ever.

Here is where the twists and turns of this story begin…

These beings would celebrate drinking the nectar of decay to numb themselves from the year past, their consciousness would be wiped out and all of their abilities would be compromised.

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Cheers and cries of both sadness and joy would be heard, a false sense of safety, connection and hope would be felt, beings from all over the place would gather and witness how the years crossed and changed their directions.

Old and young, males and females, educated and uneducated would stand side by side and start the countdown…

5, 4, 3, 2, 1…

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

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The cheer and joy would be contagious.

Oh I love you man, this is your year I know it, I can feel it, no man this is our year, we have worked so hard and it is only fair.

The drinking of this nectar would continue, it was such a profitable business for its distributor.

Other more ‘sophisticated’ or wealthier or sillier beings would even purchase other substances to heightened their joy and euphoria and welcome the new year in a real ‘high’.

This gathering, party of the new year would last for many hours and even days if the time of the week allowed it.

So…

The first day of the year, at the very beginning of this new era of hope, the WHOLE planet would be unconscious, wasted and numbed, the false illusion of certainty would have them helpless in what could be the most important day of their lives.

A day becomes 2 days and 3 and 4 days and next thing the ‘mañana’ syndrome starts to spread.

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I will do it in a minute, this minute’s life span seems to break all the laws of the universe as it gets longer and longer and longer and nothing gets done, the task is ‘brushed under the carpet’ and they start to doubt themselves.

This pandemic would spread worldwide and noone would talk about it, heads would be ‘buried in the sand’ and they would continue to pretend everything was fine.

Beliefs would be formed at a conscious and unconscious levels…

I don’t deserve it,

I am not good enough,

I can’t do it,

People like me don’t deserve happiness,

If only I was taller,

If only I was slimmer…

Negative thoughts would pile on top of each other compounding their effect and you could see in these beings faces their hopes and desires for the year started to fade away…

Just another year, same “crap” just another decade…

Life will never change for us… only the ‘chosen ones’ get what they want in life…

Sighs of resignation and cynicism would soon spread across the globe and then the news would start…

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Poverty is at its highest and doubled since last year,

Exploitation has quadrupled since the beginning of records,

Slavery has resurfaced this time as voluntary slavery…

Redundancies,

Home repossessions, etc, etc…

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These news would demoralise these beings and the light of hope they brought with them into the new year would soon disappear.

Their lives and world would see their colour fade away slowly until it totally disappeared and black and white would appear and take everything with it.

But if only…

They did something different the whole year and perhaps their lives would follow a different route.

They hadn’t explored of what it’d be like welcoming the new year sober or at least ‘semi-conscious’ and start with a clear head.

If the only knew how starting not so much the day but the year with a clear head and started to:

• Reflect on the year gone what worked and what didn’t work,

• What could be done differently,

• New career path in order to fulfil their dreams,

• Write down their goals and focused on what they really wanted to achieve in life,

• Doing something that moves them closer to their goal on a daily basis, from day one,

• Being honest with themselves and change what needs to change so their lives improve,

• Ask for help,

• Save for something worthwhile or important,

• Learn to be kind to themselves. 

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If only they knew that their power is unlimited and anything is at their disposition.

If they only knew that the only thing that has stopped them all those previous years has been themselves and that they only need some guidance and support to help them on their way.

If they only knew that the most important moment of the day is their right now, the second they hesitate to take action because none was taken a second earlier. That the new year, new me; new year, better luck is but a myth.

If they only knew that yesterday’s mistakes and lack of results do not equal tomorrow’s failures but instead tomorrow’s lessons and feedbacks.

If instead of quitting on the 10th of January they carried on till the end of the year or beyond, until those dreams come true.

If they only knew that they are ALL the ‘chosen ones’, that anything worth having is worth working for and never stopping until it materialises and fulfill them to the core of their beings.

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If they only knew that their lives and their stories are worth sharing with the rest of the world AND that they deserve happiness, joy and a lifetime of achievement.

If they only knew that they can do anything, and that there wasn’t a force strong enough to stop them from accomplishing their goals and fulfilling their lives.

If they only knew beliefs and behaviours are stories they keep telling themselves over and over and over again AND that they can override those stories any time and tell themselves a new empowering and uplifting story instead.

If they only knew that their lives matter and that by them living a powerful and magical life the WHOLE world would be inspired to follow suit and live a powerful and magical life.

If they only knew and realised that a life well lived is a life with ups and downs, triumphs and failures and always arriving at that goal that makes it all worth it.

If they only knew that people care about their happiness and achievements and that love and support were there for them if they needed them.

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Though, it isn’t until one of them wakes up and shares with others what’s possible and becomes the evidence that the rest will follow.

All it takes is a person in a family, in a community, in a village, in a province, in a country to defy the odds and become the evidence.

So, in the end it is a choice what makes all the difference in these beings lives, do they continue doing what they have always done, or do they start a new paradigm?

The truth is we will only know when we hear about it through their stories, and anecdotes till then we can only wonder what happens next in the lives of these beings…


When a person reaches their full potential magic occurs AND people start dreaming again and getting to work, so life and love and hope start to spread like wildfire and people become an unstoppable force.

All it takes is one person who says yes to living, yes to life, yes to love and yes to creating a magnificent life.

Are you willing to be that person?

Happy New Year, may 2018 be the year in which your passion and love for life become contagious and you end up touching the lives of countless others.

With all my love,

Jorge

Desarrollo Personal En Nuestras Vidas

Desarrollo Personal En Nuestras Vidas

El Mannana Empieza A Ser Construido Hoy

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Hola a todos. Espero que esten bien y trabajando hacia sus suennos.

Como mencione anteriormente (y esto incluye mis faltas ortograficas) en este viaje a Estados Unidos me he reencontrado con mis raices latinas (Que nunca he abandonado).

Desde la lengua hasta la cultura (comida y bebidas tambien jiji), y esto movio una nostalgia en mi mente y corazon.

Dejenme explicar, esta nostalgia no es una annoranza sino pena. Vi como muchos latinos que han venido a los Estados Unidos a vivir una mejor vida y realizar sus suennos terminan trabajando en trabajos similares a los que hubiesen hecho en sus paises natales.

Por que?

No es esta la nacion donde los suennos se hacen realidad?

Pues si que lo es. Y esta es la realidad.

La unica diferencia es que aunque muchas personas al migrar, solo cambian paises pero no su forma de pensar.

Voy a ser honesto, llevo muchos annos fuera de America Latina y se poco de como son las cosas en los diferentes paises y en las vidas de las personas en estos paises.

Lo que, por parte se es que cuando uno trabaja en su mente, la forma en que uno piensa y ve la vida, habla por si misma, los resultados lo dicen todo.

Ya recordaran que vivo en Inglaterra, y tambien hay latinos alla, y su forma de ver el mundo es negativa (en mi opinion personal!), y esto es palpable en lo que hacen, en su trabajo y en su vida en general.

Desde muy temprano me gusto la lectura y escribir (en esos dias mi gramatica era mejor jiji), y fue en libros donde encontre respuestas a muchas preguntas que tenia sobre la vida y el mundo, pero tenia mucha pena de preguntarle a alguien.

Fue a traves de los libros que aprendi sobre auto-ayuda y crecimiento personal, evolucion y fe en mi y mis capacidades.

Ahora postulo esta pregunta, estas haciendo algo para llevarte a tus metas?

Estas atendiendo algun seminario, leyendo algun buen libro de auto-ayuda, viendo un video para liberarte de tus pensamientos negativos o simplemente rodeandote de personas positivas (o mas positivas)?

En Europa he conocido a muchas personas de America Latina y de Espanna que llevan puestos una camisa diciendo victima!

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Victimas del sistema, victimas de la sociedad, victimas de sus jefes, victimas de sus padres, y la lista es casi infinita.

Yo? Por otra parte nunca he visto ni he sido “victima” de tales cosas?

Cual es la diferencia?

En mi opinion, la diferencia ha sido la cantidad de estudios que he hecho, he invertido en mi y mi vida, me he rodeado de las personas mas positivas e inspiradoras que he podido encontrar; y como resultado mi vida ha sido diferente.

Todos los dias, leo paginas de un libro (o escribo paginas de uno jiji), escucho audios, veo videos y me rodeo de gente que agrega valor a mi vida y contribuyen hacia mis metas.

Algo que he aprendido en los ultimos 14 annos en Inglaterra ha sido que lo que tengo hoy es el resultado de lo que hice ayer, y lo que tendre manna sera el resultado de lo que hago hoy.

Actualmente estoy en Las Vegas, Nevada en Estados Unidos, muy lejos de mi casa; estoy en una conferencia de uno de mis negocios y aunque esto afecte mi rutina, lo veo como una inversion.

Aun aqui, estoy hacienda cosas que me estan llevando cada dia mas cerca de mis metas.

Cuando era pequenno recuerdo ver con annoranza ciudades y monumentos que pense era solo para personas ricas, como latino pobre pense que estaba condenado a vivir mi vida en un radio de 20 o 30 kilometros. Eso era todo lo que conocia.

Mas, nunca deje de sonnar.

Mis suennos eran y aun son mi prioridad.

Eleji hacer lo que los demas no quieren hacer y eso es sacrificar algo hoy, para tener un mejor mannana.

Ahora, te pregunto esto: Que estas haciendo que te mueve a tu futuro?

Estas leyendo? Estas aprendiendo? Estas trabajando para ser una mejor persona?

O, estas quejandote y haciendo absolutamente nada para mejorar tu situacion presente?

Tu sabes!

Con esto te dejo, y hasta la proxima.

Por favor, lee, comenta y comparte con la gente que conoces.

Con todo mi amor.

Desde mi corazon al tuyo,

 

Jorge

Mindfulness Vs Meditation

Mindfulness Vs Meditation

How present are you in your life?

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In the last few years I have noticed how Mindfulness and Meditation have become ever so popular.

Are we being “victims” of our own creation? Food for thought.

Don’t get me wrong, I am over the moon at the fact that society as a whole has evolved so much in the last 100 years, but… Was is it too much, too fast? Just a thought.

Regardless, the most important thing here is that people are needing these two techniques more and more, and even then, they “struggle” at times.

Being present, IMHO, starts at home, setting some boundaries and sticking to them.

On another hand, going back to what I have mentioned before about “knowing” what is right and what isn’t.

We know that using our phones when we are in somebody else’s company shouldn’t be done (I am guilty of that!). how does that make them feel?

We, also, know that watching TV or playing games when our family don’t see much of us isn’t the friendliest of approaches to keep a relationship in good health.

So, here is my view on the subject (please forgive me in advance, if I offend anyone).

My comment is going to be directed towards meditation, I feel that people meditate for the wrong reasons.

I have noticed that a great deal of people do it to escape their busy lives and not to find out more about themselves, spirit or the Universe for that matter.

By escaping their lives, they aren’t able to fully experience what meditation has to offer, which is awesome BTW.

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Mindfulness, however, which can be done anywhere, at any time (don’t get me wrong meditation, too, can be done anywhere – just not the same), you don’t need silence or to retire to a quiet space.

Mindfulness, I see as the art of being present in one’s life, the world and the Universe, where we notice even the smallest of details and embrace life, with an almost childlike curiosity.

What does this feel like? What does it taste like? Let’s explore the journey of this fruit from the land to my intestines.

What does the wind feel like? What does it smell like?

You aren’t avoiding anything; you are fully present.

Just a thought.

I thought I would share my thoughts on the matter.

As ever, comments and feedback welcome.

Much love.

From my heart to yours,

 

Jorge

Core Values

Core Values

Where do they come from?

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Recently, I witnessed something that provoked this question, where do our core values come from?

I was at a local coffee shop (being healthy I promise, and no it is not a pink elephant), and I saw the following:

An older brother (teenager), was in this shop with his two younger brothers, he asked for their food to go (to not pay the tax), and then he sat in to eat with this brothers.

Here is the thing I found the most fascinating, his younger brother said: but you said we’d eat it on the go, what about paying the extra money to sit in.

I could not believe my ears. I felt so proud of that little boy, acting with such integrity at such young age.

Although, I understand that our values are the total sum of all the experiences we’ve had, that we filter this information accordingly, and that we are programmed (by those around us BTW) between the ages of 0-6.

I totally get that, seriously.

But, then this raised this question in my head (dangerous place to be!).

Do we choose to behave unethically when at heart we know what is right and what isn’t?

I will give you some examples.

Stealing. We know it is wrong. Though, people choose to do it. There is nothing wrong with asking for something or help.

Being unpunctual. We know it can have some consequences. Though, people are late (I refer to those who do it ALL the time). Why can’t they plan better? We have tons of resources available nowadays.

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There are other scenarios you can imagine, where the solution is pretty obvious; yet we choose not to do it.

What drives this I do not know.

Though, I still believe at heart, that people make excuses to avoid taking control of their actions, it then becomes a vicious circle of which they can’t get out of.

Then, that cycle strengthens making it even more challenging to break it.

So, what can we do as a society when we notice someone is acting against our values?

How can we educate these “offenders” so there is harmony all around us.

I invite you take a look around you and see what you can notice; watching people making decisions is fascinating and mesmerising at the same time.

I hope you have enjoyed this read.

Please, leave a comment, let me know your thoughts, I welcome them.

My love.

From my heart to yours,

 

Jorge

Life & Work Balance

Life & Work Balance

Is there such thing?

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Before I get started, I will challenge myself to keep this blog short, as I think my blogs are a bit loooong. -Wish me luck!

So, life and work balance. Is it possible?

The answer is yes.

Really simple.

I have been very lucky that I have had great mentors that have taught me a great deal as I was growing up.

If you don’t see your family as often as you’d like to, and all you see is your boss and colleagues. Do you think that is having a positive effect in your life?

Likewise, if you can’t separate your personal “stuff” from your work “stuff”, and you end up taking your personal life to work. Does that look like a balanced situation to you?

Quite frankly I have learned that when you want to be at home with your family, you will make it happen.

Equally, if you want to give your best at work, you will not let your personal life interfere with your work.

What I am getting at here is, we achieve this balance if we really want to.

I know this may sound really controversial.

Though, when you really want something you will find the time, money and energy to make it happen.

In my 20’s when I had one of those things they call JOBS (just-over-broke), I noticed that work was coming home with me and having an impact in my relationship.

At that moment I knew I had to do something else, so I changed jobs.

After that, I also fell out of love with my other just-over-broke (JOB), so I went self-employed.

And,

I lived happily ever after (kidding, – actually I am happy hehe).

I also learned to compartmentalise areas of my life, so work at work, love life at home etc., so whenever they crossed over, I knew there was an issue.

You see, it is not difficult.

You want a work/life balance?

Guess what?

You make it happen.

The options are endless; it is up to you. You make it happen or you don’t.

Yay. I did it!

I hope you have enjoyed, as always I look forward to hearing from you.

With all my love.

From my heart you yours,

 

Jorge

Being A Victim

Being A Victim

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What is a victim?

According to www.oxforddictionaries.com,

A victim is a person harmed, injured, or killed as a result of a crime, accident, or other event or action: victims of domestic violence, earthquake victims.

Are you a victim?

What is harming you, injuring you, killing you (though, you’d be dead if that was the case!), what event or action is causing you to feel that way?

We hear this word, “victim”, often, people use it when there is somebody else involved.

We are victims of the system. We are victims of our parents, peers, teaches, etc., etc.

So, I am going to pose another question to you.

Who is victimising you?

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In my coaching practice what I aim to do is to help my clients understand, see that they are the ones in control, “ownership” should be their desired outcome, let me explain.

When we take control or ownership of our actions, nothing or almost nothing will hinder you or hold you back.

You mess up, you admit to it, you move on!

It really is that simple.

You make a mistake, you correct it, you move on!

It isn’t that difficult, I promise you.

You have an accident (you know the type of accident I mean), you ensure it doesn’t happen again, move on!

You see, how adopting this mindset has the potential to prevent you from attaching yourself to the outcome, you remove the victim label, you learn whatever lessons must be learned and then you move on, no suffering, no drama, no tears, no end of the world, and you become a better person in the process.

Also, when you own your actions, you don’t let small things bother you longer than they should.

You offend someone, you apologise (or not, your choice), as long as you know this is happening (people call this awareness), that’s it, period, end of!

In the past I have been guilty of being a “victim”, I still am at times (especially when my partner and I have a row, lol), and it took me a while to realise that I was being it, a viiiiictiiiiiim.

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I believe, I have mentioned that I love reading, I can’t put books down.

One day, I was reading a book by Doreen Virtue, the Angels author, in this book she said (BTW, she is a psychologist too!), when you are a victim what you are really saying is: someone has control over you.

OMG!

That was it for me.

Even to this point in my life and career I didn’t quite grasp what being a victim really was.

But having read that small sentence was it for me.

When I was being (or when I am being) a victim what I am doing is giving power, control to someone over me.

Hell no.

I have gone all my life, doing my best to being independent and free of anything or anyone.

Yet, I was still attaching myself to people and circumstances and being dependent, co-dependent and doing the complete opposite to what I had set out to do.

Today, I know different.

Whatever happens in my life, good or bad, I do not attach myself to the outcome, and that way if something goes badly wrong I will not dwell on it for long, so I don’t become a victim of it.

I understand and I know it is easier said than done.

We have been brought up in a society and culture where we almost feel we have to excuse our behaviours and pass them onto somebody else, someone is responsible but us.

It takes time, takes practice, it takes a willing desire it to improve it.

Do you want to be a victim or a hero in your life?

Do you want to be remembered for always complaining about how hard life is?

Or,

Do you want to be remembered for being in charge and control of your life?

The option is yours.

Whether you want to be a victim or not, it is up to you.

If you want to be a hero, that is up to you too.

I invite you to take control over your life and start living the life of your dreams.

If you need help, seek it.

If you need direction, look for it.

There are plenty options out there to get you in the right path.

Want to know how I work? Get in touch, you know how to contact me, don’t you?

Till next time.

Please share with others.

With all my love.

From my heart to yours,

 

Jorge

Does Age Matter In Coaching And Therapy?

Does Age Matter In Coaching And Therapy?

Is Experience Subjective?

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For centuries we have been used to the idea that the elders, the old wise person from the village is the go-to person.

But how accurate is this nowadays?

Do age matters in coaching and therapy these days?

Based on this statement does that mean that the older the coach/therapist the better?

Would a 93 years old coach be more effective and help us achieve better results than a 23 years one?

I can hear you screaming the answer, and you are right.

No, it does not mean anything.

Society has evolved, we have evolved, people younger and younger are developing such entrepreneurial mindset and success that they make great coaches, mentors, therapists and trainers, just the older ones.

Likewise, there are younger and younger people, who are very irresponsible. You can find equally good and bad coaches out there, just follow your instinct, regardless of their age.

The same applies to more mature (and notice how I am not using the word experienced!) coaches, there are amazing ones that provide everything we look for, and those who well… you know, that aren’t so great.

Experience doesn’t necessarily manifest itself with age, we have genius children who are able to do things older people can’t do; though, we find that almost a “miracle”, but when we are faced with a younger coach, therapist, mentor, trainer, this almost invisible barrier comes up and we “judge” without giving them a chance.

We lived in an entrepreneurial society over the years, which then became a society of followers, where pretty much everyone was told their worth; and now a lot of people want to break away from that vicious circle and move towards freedom, total freedom, and by that I mean time and financial freedom.

The younger coaches have a fresher outlook in life, they are current and yes, sometimes they lack the experience (which more often is years of trial and error); on the other hand the more mature coaches have the experience, and at the same time they could be set in their ways, are not very current and might not understand some of the “new” problems society presents today.

My main point here is that age does not matter, whether someone is just out of College or University, or have been working for decades they have something unique to offer and give to their clients.

Remember what we discussed previously, sharing your gift with the world, that’s what they are doing, and by “judging” them for being too “old” or too “young” we might not be doing ourselves any favours.

This brings me to what to look for when you look for a coach or therapist (the same applies to trainers and mentors).

You, ideally, want someone you have a connection with, some who is disciplined and scares you, and at the same time you respect and respects you back.

Creating a relationship of respect is paramount in a coaching/therapy relationship.

If your coach is too “soft”, guess what, you will not achieve much, you are likely to walk all over them and do what you have always done.

If your coach is too “tough”, he/she might put you off and scare the living light out of you.

Find that balance, and connection to allow the magic in that relationship to flourish and you achieve the results you want.

Word-of-mouth is perhaps one the most popular ways to find a good coach (regardless of their age), ask around if you are looking for someone.

Be mindful to have a clear idea of what you are going to be working on too, you want to work with a coach/therapist who is an expert or at least have a basic understanding of the subject matter.

One other helpful thing to have in mind is pricing, just because someone appears “affordable” doesn’t immediately make them a good fit for you, same applies for the “expensive” ones, it doesn’t mean they are going to work wonders for you.

Remember, change (I much rather use the word evolution and growth, to be honest) takes time, effort and money.

Guess what?

The more money you invest in your mind, mindset and reprogramming, the better.

Going back to what we discussed previously, people much rather invest on short term solutions, quick fixes that will cost them more in the long run.

To put it into context, a night out in the UK costs around £100 (and some more if you include clothing, makeup and the works!), Botox costs (depending where you are) anything from £150 (every 3-4 months), a personal trainer around £100 (for 3 hours or so, and this is not addressing the emotional issues).

You get the idea.

Lastly, the looks of the coach/therapist, do they look the part?

Is your weight loss coach “fit” (I have seen obese weight loss coaches!)?

Is your confidence coach confident?

Be mindful of this, do your research.

As I have concluded, age does not matter, looks do not matter, location does not matter, what really matters here is you.

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Are you getting what you want?

Is this coach/therapist helping you achieve your goals?

Thank you for taking the time to read this blog.

I would love to hear your feedback, I would love to know more about you. Get in touch, email me jorge@lifecoachsouthampton.co.uk, leave a comment, let me know how you are.

Till next time.

With all my love.

From my heart to yours,

 

Jorge

 

Telling Your Story To The World

Telling Your Story To The World

Sharing Your Gift

 

When I was growing up, back in Panama City, I genuinely thought I had nothing to offer to the world, no value to add, in essence I felt I was worth nothing and whether I did something or nothing at all, it would have not made any difference in the world.

I understand there are many people who feel the same way I once felt, for those of you, do not worry, the best is yet to come; the only thing you must do is to work on yourself and believe that what you do and who you are matter.

So, now, I know different, I know that it doesn’t matter where you are from, what you know, what you do or who you are, all of that matters, you know why? Because you matter, you are important and, awesome J.

I put it out there, just in case no one has mentioned it or you have forgotten it.

I must be honest, it took me a few years to learn that what I do matters, what I have matters and who I am matters.

In Growing Confident, I do apologise if I mention it too much – it is my baby! In here I share my story with the world, I open myself up and tell the world who I was and who I became.

In Growing Confident (which I hope you have read, if not, what are you waiting for?), there are two chapters I am most excited and proud of, these are:

  • Telling your story to the world, and
  • Sharing your gift.

The essence of these two chapters is that it does not matter how small or big, you think you are (cos it is a thought either way!), you will always have a story to tell, inspire others with your greatness and awesomeness (cos we all are! Yes, you too are!).

Oftentimes we forget what we have undergone and fought against to be where we are, and at the same time, we forget that there are people out there (the world is a big place you know! – over 7 billion people – that makes it 14 billion eyes, a lot of teeth and hair!!!), these people whom we might or might not personally know could potentially be facing similar circumstances to those we once faced.

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So, why not share it?

I will tell you a brief story, which upset me and saddened me at the time.

Currently, I am working on a second book, this required me to interview various people from the LGBTQA Community, to my astonishment, a great percentage of the people I asked felt and thought they had nothing to share, their words were: I live a boring life, no one would be interested in…

Please, I beg of you, remove such thoughts from your head (or else I will go and physically remove them from there – and you do not want to see a passionate Latino gay guy in your head fighting your thoughts!!! My partner sees it every day. Bless him!).

You, your life, your work, everything about you matters.

Period!

So, my question to you is, are you telling your story to those around you and reaching the lives of those whom you are yet to meet?

There are endless means to accomplish this.

I, hand on heart, would love to hear your story and find how it can help me be and become a better person.

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Equally, what is your gift?

As mentioned, I thought I had nothing special that could separate me from the rest and worth sharing…

How wrong was I!

Yes, it took me a while to figure them out.

Yes, I had to take on some trainings.

Who cares?

I have skills and assets worth sharing with the world.

Because I chose to, now I know, that with my coaching I can coach clients to become confident and successful, and help them get their businesses to the next level; and with trainings in Reiki, NLP and EFT, I am able to transfer skills and knowledge that will benefit my students and their clients, everyone wins.

With my poems and writing I am able to impact my readers, with my cooking I feed my body, my partner and guests; with my charisma (yep, I am charismatic, even if I may say so) and humour, I touch peoples’ lives through laughter.

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I could go on and on and on and on and on and on and on… (sorry I got a bit carried away).

Though, there isn’t any point if you don’t believe you have a story to tell or a gift to share.

If that is the case, what can you do to remove that unwanted, unuseful programming and very limited belief system.

Why not seek professional help?

I know this awesome coach and therapist who can help you.

Believe me, your future self will thank you for it.

Do not forget you are awesome, you are amazing and absolutely everything about you is important and matters.

Just believe in yourself.

I look forward to hearing your story and experiencing your gift in my life.

As always, leave comments, feedback welcome and till next time.

With all my love.

From my heart to yours,

 

Jorge

 

 

 

Why Do Poets Write Poetry?

Why Do Poets Write Poetry?

What poetry is your heart telling?

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From a very early age I have loved poetry and literature, though, I have to admit I am mostly inclined to say that poetry is my favourite.

As a good Latin boy (or man, the option is yours J), passion is a great part of my life, I am passionate about everything, it is a part of who I am, my identity.

I find that poetry touches me, and moves many emotions deep in me.

When I was growing up (I still am, at least hope to grow a little more), I had fewer friends than the average child/teenager, we just had different ideas and very little in common.

So, I found myself reading whatever I could get hold of, it served me in many ways, and to this date I still love reading, whether it is an article, a chapter of a good book, a short story, an essay or a poetry (oh poetry… what would this man’s life be without you, you sweet muse, my delightful muse).

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I have to be totally honest, I was very fortunate I had one of the best literature professors anyone could ever wish for at college, Mrs Matute was the best, because of her I fell in love with Latin America’s short literature and prose history.

At the age of 15, we were encouraged (though, some of my peers felt we were forced to!), to compile a list of 100 poems from our favourite poet, from the 18th century (oh, how wonderful I thought – I was a library mouse, still am!). Mrs Matute lived for her literature and she was able to inspire and pass that beautiful knowledge onto others (at least the willing ones, like myself).

Well, what can I say?

I felt compelled to write poetry.

I started writing poetry in my diary, I felt it was the easiest way to put on paper what I was feeling at the time. Though, to my amazement, I was not the only one, some of my closest friends at school too (the handful of friends I had J – it is not about the quantity you know!).

Now, I am able to see poetry and literature through a completely different filter, through the eyes of a coach and therapist.

So, when I look at a poem, I don’t just see some words or piece of art, I see a part of someone who put their feelings and emotions, opinions and ideas, likes and dislikes, for eternity, for everyone to see, and see life through their eyes, through their filters.

I, personally, have found poetry and literature rather therapeutic and healing.

When, I put my thoughts and ideas on paper, I feel lighter, there is a mental release, and whatever has troubled me seems to vanish either for good or at least momentarily.

Then, when I visit those poems or writing, or pieces of me on writing I am able to assess and determine what was going through my mind at the time.

Based on what I have said so far, I would say that poets write poetry, not only because they love life and poetry, but because they feel the urge and need to release a demon deep inside of them, that speaks to them in verse rather than in words, just like an artist paints on a canvas what they see in their mind’s eye.

A poet puts on paper what is in his heart, what is buried deep in his soul and by bringing it to the surface, i.e. the paper of the computer screen, he releases it and able to rest.

Writing poetry is not difficult, on the contrary it is so simple, there are no rules, the only rule is that you empty what is inside of you, your love, your inspiration, a part of you; other than anything goes, anything, you set the bar and put the limits.

In my few years on this planet I have written hundreds of poems, sadly some of them lasted momentarily, the emotions attached to them were far too great to keep; however, those that reminded me of the fun, joy and love I have experienced so far, are still with us.

If you are curious and would like to read my poetry you can find some of my poems on my ebook Soul Poems, From My Heart To Yours available on Amazon, and Growing Confident, 10 Simple Steps To A More Confident You available on DragonRising.com, check them out, I have written them with all my love.

So, what I am really getting at here is, whenever you feel excited, sad, in love, inspired put it on paper, write a poem, write something about whatever is going in your head and bring it to live, materialise it and allow that process to be completed and healed.

An idea on paper, a feeling on paper is much better than something that is constantly lurking on our heads and keeping us trapped and depending on it.

I highly encourage you to give it and go, and if you feel brave, whether it is a book or poems, have them published, share them with the world.

I will explore this in more detail tomorrow, sharing your story and gift with the world (I speak of these two subjects in more detail on Growing Confident).

Do it, your future self with thank you and, you never know whose life you might positively impact as a direct result.

Till tomorrow.

With all my love.

From my heart to yours,

 

Jorge

Why do people (and Bob Geldof?) “Not Like” or hate Mondays”?

Why do people (and Bob Geldof?) “Not Like” or hate Mondays”?

Why?

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For as long as I can remember, I have recollections of people “cursing”, both metaphorically and literally speaking, Mondays, I never quite understood why and, truth be told I do not know or “get” why, as yet!

My experiences with Mondays have always been sooo different, compared to what other people have shared with me in past.

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Those who know me (I hope you get to know me too!) cannot understand why I, on the other hand, looooove my Mondays.

I see Mondays as a new beginning, new opportunities have been granted to us and we are able to “regain” control over our affairs.

After a couple of days off, i.e. Saturday and Sunday, it can be a challenge and quite difficult to bring oneself back to that mindset of getting things done and getting our priorities right!

Though, when you look forward to starting a new chapter in your month or year, Mondays have the potential to become our best allies. When you look forward to a new week and by that I mean, Monday, you become excitable, hopeful and inspired to take action and, have a great week.

It is not uncommon to hear people doing a countdown to their weekend, almost as if they were running away from their week or themselves; sadly, it is a different story altogether, when it comes to a Monday.

I start to wonder, if people were more “open minded” about Mondays and what they have to offer, would they be welcoming more opportunities and a new approach to the week ahead?

Continuing on what we talked about yesterday, language and communication, when we vocalise we “hate” Mondays, we wish it still was the weekend, or beg for one more day; is it fair to say we are setting ourselves for failure?

Think about it? If you have to do something you “hate”, you are not going to enjoy, no matter what.

But, if you looooove what you are going to be doing, if you are welcoming it into your life and you are excited, the results well, they will speak for themselves.

I truly hope you have found this brief and short blog of some use to you.

Try it, in fact do it, next Monday, I invite you to be excited about and notice the difference it creates in your week and who knows maybe even your life.

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Till next time (which is tomorrow BTW).

With all my love.

From my heart to yours,

 

Jorge

 

PS, as always feel free to comment, share and give any feedback J

 

Now is the Time

Now is the time

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 You have come so far,

Yet, the journey has just begun

Wake up! Wake up!

Don’t turn your back on the now,

Let go of the past,

What purpose does it serve you?

Where can you find that what you seek?

Isn’t the present the future you once dreamt?

Where has it gone?

What have you done?ElectronicAwakening-Image2

Wake up! Wake up!

Aren’t dreams anything but fantasies?

Is reality but a bad dream?

What do to? Where to go?

The past has left you behind,

Betrayed you with a false good-bye

Too late, too soon, it was gone.

Wake up! Wake up!

The clock is ticking,

Surrender your stubbornness,

Accept, you are all that matters

Yesterday has left you,

Tomorrow awaits you,

Trust and belief, the time is right

Your dues have been paid

Freedom has found you

Let it in, let it stay

Conquer your fears,

Let go of your yesterdays

Welcome your tomorrows

Wake up! Wake up!

The time is right, the time is now,

Now is the time,

Now is your time.

Jorge

jorge

Control. Who is in charge of your life?

Control

Who is in charge of your life?

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It has been a while since I have put fingers to keyboard. Since the last blog on the 1st of January I have embarked on a journey of self-discovery, learning and experiencing so I can share with you my findings.

Many of us have heard the quote by Ford: Whether you think you can or not, you are right!

In the last few months I have come to the understanding that it isn’t that straightforward, it may appear simple, the reality is less so.

When we learn there are four stages in the learning process:

  • Unconscious incompetence – we don’t know what we don’t know,
  • Conscious incompetence – we know what we don’t know,
  • Conscious competence – we know what we know, and
  • Unconscious competence – we don’t know what we know or mastery!

So I have concluded that until we step into the conscious incompetence sphere in life, we won’t be able to determine what we can or not do. All else is just but an assumption.

Fear on the other hand, is what has been driving many people for centuries, generations of families, groups and societies. This fear, is much more than the acronym it has been given many times – False expectations appearing real! –

What is driving this fear? Or the force behind it? In my experience and understanding it is stress, due to the environment, our behaviours and beliefs in general.

So, we go in life (and I include myself here!), creating this pseudo reality, a stress-packed and stress-full life and reality, where we don’t trust our feelings, emotions and inner guidance; dreams don’t matter any longer and the spark we were once born with slowly fades away, ultimately we miss out on what could have been our biggest and best achievements and successes in life.

Stress, in my opinion stands for (why not give it an acronym too!)

  • Silly,
  • Tormenting,
  • Ridiculous,
  • Endless,
  • Self-
  • Sabotaging.

Do I need to expand on what these mean?

What to do then?

Simple, make a decision, just one decision, THE single most important decision you will have ever made in your life, right now. Step off your comfort zone and explore life on the “conscious incompetence level”, explore something new, something that scares you and allows you to grow as an individual.

In my case, that “something” scary was to be true to myself, and tap into my mission and purpose in this life-time, which is to help people find their mission and purpose in life. It wasn’t easy, I had to explore the unknown (to me), grow and evolve so I could find my strengths and opportunities around me.

Before then, I only focussed on the “stick”, my weaknesses and threats… In a nutshell I was stressed and I did not know it; fear took over and imprisoned me in a jail of my own creation which was strengthened by own liming beliefs and demons.

Now, on this side of the comfort zone, what can I say? I am here, typing this blog for you to read and ignite that flame, passion and life, in you.

Go and take control of your life, grab the pen and start writing your own story.

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What will you do differently from now?

Share with me.

Jorge

JV Mind and Soul Awakener