How Much Can A Conversation Help You?

We love to talk and have a conversation with everyone around us, these connect us and can be healing too, for all those involved.

Though, in my personal experience and that of my clients, family and friends we just talk about the superficial stuff and take everything else for granted OR we think others won’t care.

I used to withhold and be shallow and superficial in my conversations, they didn’t take me far and almost cost me my life.

I felt alone, lonely, unwanted and a burden to my family and society, but everyone thought I was fine and just another moody teenager.

The day after my suicide attempt that withholding stopped and I opened up, I spoke to someone about my life and how I felt.

That conversation without a shadow of a doubt saved my life, I learned people cared and they’d do whatever they can to help… all that is needed is for us to open up.

Why am I going on about this?

This year I have made myself the commitment to be there for everyone I know and to make new friends.

Today a friend phoned me and asked me round so I went and we had such a great conversation that lasted for hours.

What was great about this conversation was the generosity and honesty of every word spoken, we just had a real and open conversation.

We didn’t pretend to be anyone else but ourselves, we didn’t have to mind our every word and openly would disagree with each other without arguing about it.

That honesty and openness opened a gate of compliments and kindness and love that you don’t see every day.

Here is what we fail to do in our conversations, we are (or can be) very stingy and inauthentic… these create blockages and barriers that stop the real communication and there is almost no real content to it all.

It was a great reminder of the magic that takes place when we openly, honestly and humanly talk to another person AND the connection it strengthens, and the feeling afterwards is so rewarding.

Talking about ourselves can be scary and awkward at first but over time it gets easier to openly talk about what is worrying us and our concerns, and problems.

I invite you to have more open and honest conversations with your loved ones, and please let me know how these enrich your lives. Give it a go.

Till next time, with all my love,

Jorge

You Are Amazing

You Are Amazing


 

There are so many things I loooove doing and I do my best to do them all so I don’t feel I am missing out on anything.

One of these things is writing poetry.

I was ever so fortunate when I was in middle and high school as I had the most passionate teachers in literature and poetry, I loved reading the books assigned not only because they told a story or taught me something new but because I got to step into the author/narrator’s mind and interpret what he meant at the time.

Even to this day I have so much respect for those ladies who gave so much, and I honour them by writing non-fiction books and poetry.

So, back in November 2017 a mentor asked to write a poetry to recite in front of an audience at a conference I was attending at the time, I couldn’t say no AND I had no time to write it, also I hadn’t written anything for a while, so it felt a bit challenging.

I let my innate intelligence guide my fingers over the keys and I let the words flow as if an unknown energy took over me and this is what came out.

You are amazing!

The words, the energy and the sentiment behind this poem are a celebration to life and to love and to us.

This is one of my favourite poems to date, so enjoy it.

Please share this poems in your social networks and spread this celebration.

With all my love,

Jorge

 

You Are Amazing

 

Wondrous and marvellous being,

YOU were born out of a miracle,

Out of the universe of love YOU came from,

The chances were slim, yet you made it.

 

The day to arrive into this world came,

You fought and you pushed and out you came.

The light you saw and a deep breath you took, AND

Out a scream of LIFE came marking your arrival.

 

Hours, days and months of learning and growing came,

Everything was, oh so new and yet all so familiar,

You fell, you failed, you cried and AGAIN you stood,

Your sheer resilience and tenacity NEVER let you down.

 

Do YOU even know what an incredible GIFT to this world YOU are?

You are an inspiration, you are a god among us,

Yet, you seem to have forgotten who you REALLY are!

So, here I am a messenger from heavens to tell you just that.

 

Your life and what you do matters, YOU matter,

Cast the doubt and the fear to one side and break free,

Step into your greatness, let the light a new way show you,

Let your life be that of your dreams, be a flame in the fire of life.

 

Your thoughts, your ideas and EVERYTHING you do the world they can change,

You have forgotten the essence of who you are,

You have let the noises from the world around drown you and your awesomeness,

WAKE UP, STAND UP, STEP UP, TAKE A STAND and reveal who you TRULY are.

 

Listen to my words, hear my message,

I believe in you, I know who you really are,

Stop playing small, this is NOT your real role,

You are, oh so much more.

 

Riches, wealth and infinite abundance your birthright are,

Anything you can have, but the do must you do,

And firstly you ought to be, not anything nor anyone,

Be, be you, be who you know yourself to be.

 

Magic, love, passion AND so much more,

Listen to the voice of your heart, feel the fire burning in your soul,

Be, live, love, find yourself, free yourself,

Wake up to the real you, and live for the first time.

Learn, unlearn and most importantly relearn,

That you are love, that you are important,

That there is no one like you,

Nor there will EVER be ANYone like you!

 

YOU ARE AMAZING, REMEMBER THIS,

YOU ARE INCREDIBLE, KNOW THIS,

YOU ARE SENSATIONAL, BELIEVE THIS,

YOU ARE MAGNIFICENT, NEVER FORGET THIS!

 

Written by Jorge Vence

You are amazing

Positive Messages And Re-programming

Positive Messages And Re-programming

Feeding Your Mind With Positives

Greetings from fabulous Las Vegas, Nevada!

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What do you say to yourself when no one is watching?

Be honest.

Well, I will get the ball rolling. When no one is watching I am the meanest person ever to myself, what I say to myself I would probably end up in a fight if anyone said that to me.

So, what can we do when we find ourselves beating ourselves up or kicking ourselves in the butt.

Actually, this reminds me, in one of my NLP trainings, I used the kicking oneself analogy and then I said, how is that even possible? It’s not like we have a prosthetic leg constantly kicking ourselves, or have we? Well, I don’t.

What can we do?

I will give you a few suggestions…

First, I want to reassure you, it is 100% normal and acceptable to have that voice in our head saying things to us, criticising us and hindering our progress. I promise.

It is what we do when this happens what matters.

Some of the things we can do are:

  1. Seek professional help, if in doubt.
  2. Read a good book, self-help rocks!
  3. Listen to audios.
  4. Practice affirmations.
  5. Go for a long walk, never fails.
  6. Have a chat with that “annoying” voice and ask: what do you want?
  7. Read positive daily thoughts.
  8. Surround yourself with positive people.
  9. Be kind to yourself.

You see, there many options to silence those thoughts, I, at times play pretty loud music and lose myself in the lyrics and the rhythm of the music.

What these positive messages coming from all of these different options are doing is helping us re-programme our mind, how we see ourselves and the world around us.

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Remember, what makes a real difference in our lives in the daily things we do to get ourselves to a better place. Rome wasn’t built in a day!

So, here you have it, positive talk, or self-talk can help you re-programme your mindset if you learn to act on it as soon as you notice it.

If you’d like to read some positive messages on a daily basis, check 365 Messages of Hope by moi meme.

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Do something each day to help you create a more helpful inner chatter.

Till next time.

With all my love.

From my heart to yours,

 

Jorge

Core Values

Core Values

Where do they come from?

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Recently, I witnessed something that provoked this question, where do our core values come from?

I was at a local coffee shop (being healthy I promise, and no it is not a pink elephant), and I saw the following:

An older brother (teenager), was in this shop with his two younger brothers, he asked for their food to go (to not pay the tax), and then he sat in to eat with this brothers.

Here is the thing I found the most fascinating, his younger brother said: but you said we’d eat it on the go, what about paying the extra money to sit in.

I could not believe my ears. I felt so proud of that little boy, acting with such integrity at such young age.

Although, I understand that our values are the total sum of all the experiences we’ve had, that we filter this information accordingly, and that we are programmed (by those around us BTW) between the ages of 0-6.

I totally get that, seriously.

But, then this raised this question in my head (dangerous place to be!).

Do we choose to behave unethically when at heart we know what is right and what isn’t?

I will give you some examples.

Stealing. We know it is wrong. Though, people choose to do it. There is nothing wrong with asking for something or help.

Being unpunctual. We know it can have some consequences. Though, people are late (I refer to those who do it ALL the time). Why can’t they plan better? We have tons of resources available nowadays.

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There are other scenarios you can imagine, where the solution is pretty obvious; yet we choose not to do it.

What drives this I do not know.

Though, I still believe at heart, that people make excuses to avoid taking control of their actions, it then becomes a vicious circle of which they can’t get out of.

Then, that cycle strengthens making it even more challenging to break it.

So, what can we do as a society when we notice someone is acting against our values?

How can we educate these “offenders” so there is harmony all around us.

I invite you take a look around you and see what you can notice; watching people making decisions is fascinating and mesmerising at the same time.

I hope you have enjoyed this read.

Please, leave a comment, let me know your thoughts, I welcome them.

My love.

From my heart to yours,

 

Jorge

Exercise And General Well-Being

Exercise And General Well-Being

Exercising The Body And The Mind

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Exercise… my nemesis.

I do not enjoy exercising, I think I have mentioned it before (if not, here you have it!), though, I totally get the benefits.

So…

I will be talking from my experience BTW, so that all you are reading is my personal bias.

Even though I dislike exercising, I cannot deny the wonderful positive effects it has on me.

As a direct result:

  1. I like my body,
  2. I feel energised,
  3. I am conscious of what I eat,
  4. I am investing in my future health and fitness,
  5. I am oxygenating my body and brain,
  6. I am releasing toxins through my sweat.

I could go on and write a rather large list.

However, I have found that the best results I have achieved in my mindset, and how I see fitness and nutrition altogether.

We live in a society where we are so focused on results that the “instant gratification” drives each and every one of our decisions and what we do.

Exercising now, I see as an investment, one that I will get to “cash-in” the future when I will need to be fit and able, in order to get by as an older man.

I have also noticed that exercising makes you happier, for two reasons: 1) you are enjoying the results (I swear if I didn’t exercise, I would be morbidly obese!), and 2) you feel energised after a workout.

Many males are so on (literally) after a workout (and I dare say some females feel so too!), so it increases your libido – isn’t this amazing, we can save in Viagra (for the mature gents BTW).

You learn to respect your body (or trash it less, whichever way you want to see it), and become more conscientious of your actions towards your body.

We aware that our body is a vehicle that needs servicing, exercising is our MOT and food is our fuel.

This constant looking after the vehicle and fuelling is what enables it to go the distance and the extra mile when we need it to.

Last, but not least, the more we exercise our body the stronger our mind gets, there is a direct connection between the two, the mind controls the body (going to the gym and eating healthier) and vice versa, the results feed the mind to want more of it.

Win-win I say.

So, should we work out?

Till next time.

Much love.

From my heart to yours,

 

Jorge

Life & Work Balance

Life & Work Balance

Is there such thing?

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Before I get started, I will challenge myself to keep this blog short, as I think my blogs are a bit loooong. -Wish me luck!

So, life and work balance. Is it possible?

The answer is yes.

Really simple.

I have been very lucky that I have had great mentors that have taught me a great deal as I was growing up.

If you don’t see your family as often as you’d like to, and all you see is your boss and colleagues. Do you think that is having a positive effect in your life?

Likewise, if you can’t separate your personal “stuff” from your work “stuff”, and you end up taking your personal life to work. Does that look like a balanced situation to you?

Quite frankly I have learned that when you want to be at home with your family, you will make it happen.

Equally, if you want to give your best at work, you will not let your personal life interfere with your work.

What I am getting at here is, we achieve this balance if we really want to.

I know this may sound really controversial.

Though, when you really want something you will find the time, money and energy to make it happen.

In my 20’s when I had one of those things they call JOBS (just-over-broke), I noticed that work was coming home with me and having an impact in my relationship.

At that moment I knew I had to do something else, so I changed jobs.

After that, I also fell out of love with my other just-over-broke (JOB), so I went self-employed.

And,

I lived happily ever after (kidding, – actually I am happy hehe).

I also learned to compartmentalise areas of my life, so work at work, love life at home etc., so whenever they crossed over, I knew there was an issue.

You see, it is not difficult.

You want a work/life balance?

Guess what?

You make it happen.

The options are endless; it is up to you. You make it happen or you don’t.

Yay. I did it!

I hope you have enjoyed, as always I look forward to hearing from you.

With all my love.

From my heart you yours,

 

Jorge

Telling Your Story To The World

Telling Your Story To The World

Sharing Your Gift

 

When I was growing up, back in Panama City, I genuinely thought I had nothing to offer to the world, no value to add, in essence I felt I was worth nothing and whether I did something or nothing at all, it would have not made any difference in the world.

I understand there are many people who feel the same way I once felt, for those of you, do not worry, the best is yet to come; the only thing you must do is to work on yourself and believe that what you do and who you are matter.

So, now, I know different, I know that it doesn’t matter where you are from, what you know, what you do or who you are, all of that matters, you know why? Because you matter, you are important and, awesome J.

I put it out there, just in case no one has mentioned it or you have forgotten it.

I must be honest, it took me a few years to learn that what I do matters, what I have matters and who I am matters.

In Growing Confident, I do apologise if I mention it too much – it is my baby! In here I share my story with the world, I open myself up and tell the world who I was and who I became.

In Growing Confident (which I hope you have read, if not, what are you waiting for?), there are two chapters I am most excited and proud of, these are:

  • Telling your story to the world, and
  • Sharing your gift.

The essence of these two chapters is that it does not matter how small or big, you think you are (cos it is a thought either way!), you will always have a story to tell, inspire others with your greatness and awesomeness (cos we all are! Yes, you too are!).

Oftentimes we forget what we have undergone and fought against to be where we are, and at the same time, we forget that there are people out there (the world is a big place you know! – over 7 billion people – that makes it 14 billion eyes, a lot of teeth and hair!!!), these people whom we might or might not personally know could potentially be facing similar circumstances to those we once faced.

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So, why not share it?

I will tell you a brief story, which upset me and saddened me at the time.

Currently, I am working on a second book, this required me to interview various people from the LGBTQA Community, to my astonishment, a great percentage of the people I asked felt and thought they had nothing to share, their words were: I live a boring life, no one would be interested in…

Please, I beg of you, remove such thoughts from your head (or else I will go and physically remove them from there – and you do not want to see a passionate Latino gay guy in your head fighting your thoughts!!! My partner sees it every day. Bless him!).

You, your life, your work, everything about you matters.

Period!

So, my question to you is, are you telling your story to those around you and reaching the lives of those whom you are yet to meet?

There are endless means to accomplish this.

I, hand on heart, would love to hear your story and find how it can help me be and become a better person.

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Equally, what is your gift?

As mentioned, I thought I had nothing special that could separate me from the rest and worth sharing…

How wrong was I!

Yes, it took me a while to figure them out.

Yes, I had to take on some trainings.

Who cares?

I have skills and assets worth sharing with the world.

Because I chose to, now I know, that with my coaching I can coach clients to become confident and successful, and help them get their businesses to the next level; and with trainings in Reiki, NLP and EFT, I am able to transfer skills and knowledge that will benefit my students and their clients, everyone wins.

With my poems and writing I am able to impact my readers, with my cooking I feed my body, my partner and guests; with my charisma (yep, I am charismatic, even if I may say so) and humour, I touch peoples’ lives through laughter.

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I could go on and on and on and on and on and on and on… (sorry I got a bit carried away).

Though, there isn’t any point if you don’t believe you have a story to tell or a gift to share.

If that is the case, what can you do to remove that unwanted, unuseful programming and very limited belief system.

Why not seek professional help?

I know this awesome coach and therapist who can help you.

Believe me, your future self will thank you for it.

Do not forget you are awesome, you are amazing and absolutely everything about you is important and matters.

Just believe in yourself.

I look forward to hearing your story and experiencing your gift in my life.

As always, leave comments, feedback welcome and till next time.

With all my love.

From my heart to yours,

 

Jorge

 

 

 

Why Do Poets Write Poetry?

Why Do Poets Write Poetry?

What poetry is your heart telling?

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From a very early age I have loved poetry and literature, though, I have to admit I am mostly inclined to say that poetry is my favourite.

As a good Latin boy (or man, the option is yours J), passion is a great part of my life, I am passionate about everything, it is a part of who I am, my identity.

I find that poetry touches me, and moves many emotions deep in me.

When I was growing up (I still am, at least hope to grow a little more), I had fewer friends than the average child/teenager, we just had different ideas and very little in common.

So, I found myself reading whatever I could get hold of, it served me in many ways, and to this date I still love reading, whether it is an article, a chapter of a good book, a short story, an essay or a poetry (oh poetry… what would this man’s life be without you, you sweet muse, my delightful muse).

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I have to be totally honest, I was very fortunate I had one of the best literature professors anyone could ever wish for at college, Mrs Matute was the best, because of her I fell in love with Latin America’s short literature and prose history.

At the age of 15, we were encouraged (though, some of my peers felt we were forced to!), to compile a list of 100 poems from our favourite poet, from the 18th century (oh, how wonderful I thought – I was a library mouse, still am!). Mrs Matute lived for her literature and she was able to inspire and pass that beautiful knowledge onto others (at least the willing ones, like myself).

Well, what can I say?

I felt compelled to write poetry.

I started writing poetry in my diary, I felt it was the easiest way to put on paper what I was feeling at the time. Though, to my amazement, I was not the only one, some of my closest friends at school too (the handful of friends I had J – it is not about the quantity you know!).

Now, I am able to see poetry and literature through a completely different filter, through the eyes of a coach and therapist.

So, when I look at a poem, I don’t just see some words or piece of art, I see a part of someone who put their feelings and emotions, opinions and ideas, likes and dislikes, for eternity, for everyone to see, and see life through their eyes, through their filters.

I, personally, have found poetry and literature rather therapeutic and healing.

When, I put my thoughts and ideas on paper, I feel lighter, there is a mental release, and whatever has troubled me seems to vanish either for good or at least momentarily.

Then, when I visit those poems or writing, or pieces of me on writing I am able to assess and determine what was going through my mind at the time.

Based on what I have said so far, I would say that poets write poetry, not only because they love life and poetry, but because they feel the urge and need to release a demon deep inside of them, that speaks to them in verse rather than in words, just like an artist paints on a canvas what they see in their mind’s eye.

A poet puts on paper what is in his heart, what is buried deep in his soul and by bringing it to the surface, i.e. the paper of the computer screen, he releases it and able to rest.

Writing poetry is not difficult, on the contrary it is so simple, there are no rules, the only rule is that you empty what is inside of you, your love, your inspiration, a part of you; other than anything goes, anything, you set the bar and put the limits.

In my few years on this planet I have written hundreds of poems, sadly some of them lasted momentarily, the emotions attached to them were far too great to keep; however, those that reminded me of the fun, joy and love I have experienced so far, are still with us.

If you are curious and would like to read my poetry you can find some of my poems on my ebook Soul Poems, From My Heart To Yours available on Amazon, and Growing Confident, 10 Simple Steps To A More Confident You available on DragonRising.com, check them out, I have written them with all my love.

So, what I am really getting at here is, whenever you feel excited, sad, in love, inspired put it on paper, write a poem, write something about whatever is going in your head and bring it to live, materialise it and allow that process to be completed and healed.

An idea on paper, a feeling on paper is much better than something that is constantly lurking on our heads and keeping us trapped and depending on it.

I highly encourage you to give it and go, and if you feel brave, whether it is a book or poems, have them published, share them with the world.

I will explore this in more detail tomorrow, sharing your story and gift with the world (I speak of these two subjects in more detail on Growing Confident).

Do it, your future self with thank you and, you never know whose life you might positively impact as a direct result.

Till tomorrow.

With all my love.

From my heart to yours,

 

Jorge

Why do people (and Bob Geldof?) “Not Like” or hate Mondays”?

Why do people (and Bob Geldof?) “Not Like” or hate Mondays”?

Why?

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For as long as I can remember, I have recollections of people “cursing”, both metaphorically and literally speaking, Mondays, I never quite understood why and, truth be told I do not know or “get” why, as yet!

My experiences with Mondays have always been sooo different, compared to what other people have shared with me in past.

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Those who know me (I hope you get to know me too!) cannot understand why I, on the other hand, looooove my Mondays.

I see Mondays as a new beginning, new opportunities have been granted to us and we are able to “regain” control over our affairs.

After a couple of days off, i.e. Saturday and Sunday, it can be a challenge and quite difficult to bring oneself back to that mindset of getting things done and getting our priorities right!

Though, when you look forward to starting a new chapter in your month or year, Mondays have the potential to become our best allies. When you look forward to a new week and by that I mean, Monday, you become excitable, hopeful and inspired to take action and, have a great week.

It is not uncommon to hear people doing a countdown to their weekend, almost as if they were running away from their week or themselves; sadly, it is a different story altogether, when it comes to a Monday.

I start to wonder, if people were more “open minded” about Mondays and what they have to offer, would they be welcoming more opportunities and a new approach to the week ahead?

Continuing on what we talked about yesterday, language and communication, when we vocalise we “hate” Mondays, we wish it still was the weekend, or beg for one more day; is it fair to say we are setting ourselves for failure?

Think about it? If you have to do something you “hate”, you are not going to enjoy, no matter what.

But, if you looooove what you are going to be doing, if you are welcoming it into your life and you are excited, the results well, they will speak for themselves.

I truly hope you have found this brief and short blog of some use to you.

Try it, in fact do it, next Monday, I invite you to be excited about and notice the difference it creates in your week and who knows maybe even your life.

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Till next time (which is tomorrow BTW).

With all my love.

From my heart to yours,

 

Jorge

 

PS, as always feel free to comment, share and give any feedback J

 

Is Communication More Important Than Language?

Is communication more important than language?

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Today is the last day of a NLP Practitioner training I am delivering here in Southampton, England.

As a trainer of NLP and various other modalities, and as a Coach and Therapist I am particularly interested and fascinated by communication and language.

Before I fully go into this blog, I want to take the opportunity to say that effective communication is much more than speaking properly and using the best words to describe any given situation. English isn’t my first language, yet it hasn’t stopped me from communicating effectively nor has it been the reason why I might have miscommunicated in the past.

That having been said (deep sigh!), I can start this blog.

In NLP we have some “mantras” or sayings which we call The Presuppositions of NLP. What this means is we take them and treat them as law to enable us to look at things and situations from a different light.

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There are two of these presuppositions that come to mind:

  1. The meaning of communication is the response you get, and
  2. You cannot not communicate.

You see, they might seem quite cryptic and almost have no meaning; though, when you break them down their meaning or core message is so powerful.

If we take the first one, the meaning of communication is the response we get.

I invite you to revisit a past event where you had a conversation with someone (anyone would do nicely BTW), and that conversation went wrong, totally pear-shaped!

What went wrong?

What did you do?

What did you say?

How did you say it?

I am not accusing you of anything, I promise! (Or am I?)

By asking this questions what I am aiming for you to do is to start noticing how there are many elements involved at the time we communicate with other people.

Things like, the time of the day, the time of the month, our current state, our financial situation, whether we are hungry or in a hurry; these factors can influence the how we come across to others, this then is transferred to our physiology (some people call this body language!), the tempo and speed of our voice, and at times they can have a direct or indirect impact in the choice of the words we use at the time.

If we take, for example, “body language” (I am sorry, I am laughing at this moment – I built this image of headless bodies running around talking and doing their day-to-day tasks), we can then see how the use of our height, hands, feet can play a huge role when we speak to others, we may come across as friendly or unfriendly, as an ally or as a threat.

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It has been said in the past that 55% of our communication is that non-verbal “stuff” we say or don’t say when we have a conversation with colleagues, friends or children. The rest, 38% is how we say things and only 7% relates to the words we use (choose to use really!).

These 3 things should be aligned and in congruency when we speak, so the words we say should match how we speak them and what our bodies are saying too.

To illustrate this, just imagine having a conversation with a child asking him or her, have you washed your hands? And, they respond by say yes, nodding negatively and their hands are covered in dirt? Would you be satisfied with that answer, when their bodies don’t match what has been said?

Looking at the other presupposition, you cannot not communicate (a double negative, oh dear! – BTW I don’t think we have these in Spanish! – phew), what this is really telling us is We Are Always Communicating, whether we want it or not – even in our sleep.

So, now let’s look at the linguistic side of communication.

We are very familiar with phrases like “negative self-talk”, “positive language”, “clean language”, “sexy language” – aka, dirty language (sorry, I couldn’t resist) and, we also have what we call “ecological language” in NLP (this means how the language used can have an impact in our environment, both internal and external).

Language is much more than words and sentences succinctly and beautifully put together, it is much more than the artful skills we have been told people like Shakespeare, Wordsworth and many others possessed in the olden days.

To me, and let me clarify it, this is my bias; language is how we make people feel, how we make ourselves feel.

If we use negative language and negative words, there is a change in our psychology and mindset, even in our physiology, it disempowers us and, can take us down a path we might wish we never visited.

On the other hand, when the language we choose to use is positive (did I mention that we have the choice?), the results, well, are obvious, these words are healing, empowering, energetic, heartfelt and they will have the potential to transform lives, create results and move us towards our final destination, happiness (The Promised Land!), or whatever goal/outcome we are working towards.

If, to what we just touched on, we add action, planning and dedication; we will have a winning formula to accomplish whatever we set our minds to. The LoA (aka Law of Attraction) would be many times more effective because the use of our language fuels and inspires our biggest asset, our brain.

Positive language, positive self-talk can most certainly drive our psychology to get the results we want in our lives.

So, I wonder, if I may ask, how is your language impacting your life and the lives of those you meet? How is your language affecting your outcomes and goals, and whether to take action or not?

I am curious to know, please feel to share with me if you can. You can comment below or send me a pm or email (oh, and don’t forget to share J).

Till next time, BTW, feel free to suggest what topics you would like me to cover, if I am able and it is a subject I am knowledgeable about, I would be delighted to give my (biased) opinion.

With all my love.

From my heart to yours,

 

Jorge

 

PS, email me on jorge@lifecoachsouthampton.co.uk if you wish to share how your language is affecting your outcomes or how it has affected your outcomes.

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Healthy Mind In A Healthy Body

A Healthy Mind In A Healthy Body

Is this the key to real success?

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Mens sana in corpore sano

When I was growing up I remember hearing the saying: a healthy mind in a healthy body.

To be frank and totally honest, I did not make any sense of this quote, to me it all sounded like a fancy saying, which meant a lot of nothing.

As you may remember, I grew up in Panama, a place many would call paradise on earth.

If you don’t know much about Panama, I will tell you a bit about it.

Panama is a small country, an isthmus which joins South America to Central America, that’s right Central America does exist! It is not a myth J.

In Panama, we are very lucky (oh, BTW I live in Britain now – a bit of a contrast lol), it is summer pretty much all year round. We have two seasons, a dry and a wet one, but even in the wet season temperatures don’t go any lower than 25 degrees.

The produce is always fresh, pretty much all organic and the flavours are all there, no seasoning needed, nature takes care of all of that.

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Good weather, sunny, the wind caresses your skin and plays with your hair, like you see in the movies. The beaches are sandy ones, warm waters, delicious fish and shellfish. Our rivers are refreshing and so clean.

In the countryside the air pollution is non-existent, life is pretty much the same it was over one hundred years ago.

All of that meant nothing to me, I took it all for granted.

Truth be told, I honestly thought everyone lived the same.

I will share something so funny, to show you how naïve I was (I can’t believe I am going to share this with you!), before I moved to England I genuinely thought that every country in the world had the same seasons as we did in Panama, that the days and nights lasted the same length of time and that the whole world was under the same time zone!!!

When I learned that this wasn’t so I realised how isolated I was from the world and I truly believed that Panama was the centre of the universe!

Well, enough said!

Those days are over, I did learn a bit more since then.

Now that you know a bit more about Panama and my “embarrassing” naivety, let’s get going with this blog.

I didn’t think much about that old saying.

It wasn’t until I moved to Britain in 2002, after having gained more than 30 lbs in about 3 months that I started to become more aware of what I ate and the impact it had in my life.

Even then, I was counting calories and “controlling” what I ate, yet not really embracing the concept of a “healthy mind”.

Those of you who live in Britain or know about the culture will know that this is a culture where alcohol is very appreciated, venerated some would say!

I moved here in my late teens, so I embraced the culture very well, in fact too well, that I became very social, and by that I mean a social drinker.

Still, I didn’t worry or bother too much about that old saying… A healthy mind in a healthy body, WT…!

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In my early 20’s I discovered Yoga, it was almost accidental, and no, I do not mean that I accidentally fell into the lotus pose; what I mean is I found myself going to a Hatha Yoga class and falling in love with everything Yoga stood for, breathing, meditation, fitness, and a “lifestyle”.

In my mid 20’s I finally got what people meant when they said that after certain age your body started to go against you, i.e. you start to “pile it on”, you have less “energy”, all in all you start “decaying” a lot quicker.

Yet, I didn’t make any sense of that old saying… blah, blah, blah.

Even though, I knew about personal development, I simply thought that the mind had nothing to do and no connection whatsoever with what I ate, nothing, nada, rien!

Then, one summer, I found myself making a decision, which to be honest even surprised me. This decision was to be a vegan.

I had tried being a veggie (not an actual vegetable BTW), and this lasted a few minutes, seconds after having made that decision in the past, I was caught stuffing my face with some steak, what a fraud.

Though, this time things were different. I felt compelled to make this work, something deep inside of me was telling me to give this a shot.

I had my partner laughing at me, saying how is it possible a cannibal like me could give his meat up, just like that and, he said: I don’t see you lasting more than two weeks.

Did I mention I did this for health reasons too?

Prior to this I had been to see a nutritionist, due to methane “issues”, after some investigating she determined I had two problems, 1) a “leaky” gut and, 2) “parasites” – various types of amoebas, to be more precise! (Later I was diagnosed with candidiasis, but that is a whole different story – there is some relevancy though).

Guess what? Even then, I still didn’t see the connection between a healthy this and a healthy of the other…

Going back to my “vegan” venture, after my first 2 weeks I was so energised, I could see a difference in my waist line, my skin complexion had never been so good, people noticed a change in my “energy” and energy levels, all in all everything was “better”.

The months I stayed as a vegan I felt a great connection to the universe, to people and to myself; I was able to think clearly and logically, my mind seemed to organise itself almost as if by magic.

The benefits were too many to count.

All because I was eating cleaner, just the way I used to back home.

At that moment, I remember an old saying I once heard: a healthy mind in a healthy body.

When I fully entered in the personal development world as coach, trainer and author I totally got what that saying meant.

I was able to comprehend the impact of what we eat has in our minds.

Simply put (this is biology 101 BTW), our brain needs glucose (a form or sugar – which it uses as fuel) to function properly, just imagine what happens to that engine if you give it the wrong fuel?

You are right, it would not function. It would be like putting diesel in a petrol car or vice versa, it would destroy it after a while.

The same happens to our brains, give it the wrong form of glucose, i.e. refined sugars, too much gluten, refined flours, etc., etc., and it becomes clunky, slows down and the way we respond and react to life suffers too.

If you go back to when you were a child, compared to your children, you will see a difference in your kitchen cupboards, pretty much everything comes out of a pack or can.

Do you think that your brain thrives from this kind of fuel?

I invite you to reflect on what you eat or, if you are braver reach to your kitchen cupboards and fridge and be honest, is what you have there fresh and good fuel for your brain?

What can you do right now to change that and give the right fuel to your brain, so you get the results you want in your life?

Want better health? Eat healthier.

Want to be leaner? Eat leaner foods.

Want to be more energised? Eat earth’s natural “red bull”.

All you have to do is switch the “manmade” stuff for the “naturemade” stuff, your body, your mind and your future self will thank you for it.

There is only one way to find out if this works and that is by trying it out by yourself.

Give it a go, you won’t regret it.

Who knows, what we eat might even be equal to our results.

Remember, a healthy body in a healthy mind or something like that… wait a minute, I got it (finally!), A Healthy MIND In A Healthy BODY.

I hope you have enjoyed this blog, please feel free to comment on it, give me some feedback and share it with others.

Till next time.

With all my love.

From my heart to yours,

 

Jorge

Why do people not invest on their minds?

Why do people not invest on their minds?

Are they missing out on their personal development?

 

When you go out and about, if you live in a big city, you will notice rows and rows of hair salons, beauty parlours, nail parlours, gyms, membership clubs (for golfers, tennis, swimmers, etc.), restaurants, cinemas, nightclubs (not that there is anything wrong in enjoying a night out every now and then!), theatres, aesthetic clinics (which aren’t cheap!), shopping centres, etc.; I could go on and on if I wanted to, I hope I am starting to paint the picture for you here.

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I am not going to deny I have been, in fact still am, guilty of going to these tempting places where you have the potential to work on your “social skills and life”, work on your body or against it (the choice is ours normally, don’t think anyone makes us!), we make ourselves look more attractive (externally); we even go to extremes to “feel” better about ourselves!

I was a confessed shop-aholic, until I discovered my shopping strategy (so I am saving lots and lots of money now); I still to this date invest in my well-being by going to the gym and eating the good stuff (I must confess I can be naughty at times too!), and working in an aesthetic clinic (best in the UK btw!) I too have had some treatments to make my looks last longer (preventative measures these are J); so I totally get why people do it.

However, not many of these places offer a good solution to peoples’ problems.

We live in a society, where unfortunately we want everything yesterday, today is too late, that instant gratification has become our worst enemy.

In my personal and humble opinion, I have noticed that people do not know enough about personal development and what it can do for them.

Before I go on (which I can do!), I would like to tell you a little about me.

I have been in personal development more than half my life. When I was a teenager I thought life was against me – I wore the biggest “victim” t-shirt going, I honestly thought I was doomed and my life would end up pretty bad!

For some strange reason, I was fascinated and mesmerised by science (for a good Catholic boy, anyway); so, I would do my best to find answers, I needed that empirical evidence that something was real or not, before I could make my mind up about something or anything.

This led me to read books (and I still do, loooove my books), I knew, in my heart, that I could overcome the obstacles I was facing, being a Catholic gay boy in a very macho society isn’t really ideal; so, my search continued…

I was the president of a local library, at this time I was fortunate to have come across a private library that had been donated to the library, as the president I was given the task to go through the books and choose the ones that were fit for the library and the rest, well I could either take them or they would have been thrown away (I can’t believe people throw books away!).

Among these books, there were hundreds of titles that grabbed my attention, filled my heart with hope and sounded like the solution to my problems (they ones I thought I had!), many of the titles were self-help book, DIY books essentially, I read some of them and found them pointless, others where OK, but one never left my mind, this book was The Unlimited Power by Tony Robbins (the then Anthony Robbins), this book blew my mind away, and allowed me to see  what was possible not only with NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) and personal development.

It is fair to say that I, too, have been touched by Tony Robbins’ inspiration, like many other millions around the globe.

Now, going back to the subject at hand, I have noticed that most people think or imagine that personal development either doesn’t “work”, is too “expensive”, is for “gifted” people, is for “rich” people, is for the “chosen” ones, is not “fast” enough, etc., the list could go on.

The truth is, personal development is part of us, of our “journey”, part of our “evolution”, our birthright, is finding the truth of who we are, as put by Campbell: it is our Hero’s Journey.

Personal development gives us the opportunity to work on the most important “muscle” we possess, our brain, our mind, which rules over and controls everything we do, the decisions we make, the actions we take or not, the movements we do, the thoughts we have, the creative moments we have, the positive or negative self-talk, and much more.

For those who are fans of the gym, the more you use a muscle the bigger it gets, simple! The mind is that muscle, we take for granted, many people around the world only exercise it till they go to college or University, after that, well – the usage is very low and limited, just take a look around you, do you think that all the violence, fear, anger and negativity portrayed by the media is showing people who use their minds and brains effectively and for the highest good of humanity, of course not!

When you embark in the world of personal development is like stepping in a fantasy land, you discover that absolutely anything is possible if you set your mind to it and it is in alignment with your values and heart’s desires.

If you are an athlete or gymgoer, or if you have a business or have a senior position at work; whether you are “young” or “old”, the more you work on yourself (i.e. your mind, aka, you mindset) and capabilities the better you do at sport, the more you are recognised at work and the result (I like to call this the bonus track, by the way), life just gets easier.

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You see, when you learn that in life there are two options you either act or react, in a nutshell, you either do it or you don’t.

In personal development you learn that you are in control, you are the captain of your ship, you are the CEO of your life and whether something happens or not, it is your call, you call the shots, no one else.

The more you work on yourself, the more you work on your mind the better you get, the better your results, the better your life.

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When people go to the hair salon, or beautician, if they aren’t working on themselves it would NOT matter how much money they spend on themselves or how good they look, if they don’t work on the deep stuff, if they don’t work on their minds, those exterior things will make no difference, it will only be a temporary mask or cover up.

If you go to the gym, or if you are dieting, if you don’t work on your emotions or your mind, the results you get will be momentary and you might find yourself going back to square zero, yo-yo dieting, and guess what? That money will have been wasted.

This, does NOT happen in personal development, it is all an investment!

Dining out, going for a walk, dancing till the sun comes out, if you aren’t working on yourself are forms of escapism, and it will not matter how much you try and how many times you go out, each and every time you go back home or back to work, you will be facing the same reality, nothing will change until you do something about it.

As said, I enjoy those things mentioned earlier, I have a personal trainer, I like to look after myself, I love going out, like many of us do; though, I understand that in order to get results at the gym, in life or in general, I must work on the most important asset I possess, my mind.

Without personal development, doing all the things I do, would be like shooting an arrow without a goal, arrows would be shot aimlessly and someone could be hurt.

Just think, how many times have you acted without thinking, and has anyone around you been hurt?

On the contrary, when you have thought things through, have you felt the difference?

Personal development isn’t expensive, if the next door Latino neighbour (oh, by the way, I am from Panama) can afford it, anyone can afford it, I mean it anyone!

Once I attended a seminar, which totally revolutionised my life, here the coach said something I will never ever in a billion years forget, he said: when you truly want something, anything in life, you will find the money, time and energy to make it happen.

OMG, I saw the light. At that moment I had been in the personal development world for over a decade and this was it!

You see, real change doesn’t happen overnight, it takes time, it is like a bank account, the more you add to it the better and bigger the interest, in this case the interest is a better life, a life of possibilities and options.

You needn’t be afraid, you needn’t be worried, if you want to be a better person, get to work, but work on yourself and your mind.

I have noticed and experienced that people are afraid or fearful of their own success, or change, or not being liked anymore; the truth is, who cares.

Truth be told, in personal development you DO NOT change a thing, you simply are a better version of yourself.

When you are in a better place or better frame of mind you learn that the only opinion that really matters is that you have about yourself, the way you see yourself.

What are you waiting for?

If you want to achieve a goal or make your dreams come true get working, right now.

I recommend a great book, by this awesome chap Jorge Vence (wait a minute, that’s me!), in his book entitled Growing Confident he shares his story with the reader, worth your read, and packed with some useful tips and exercises to get you going in your personal development journey.

Or, if you want to get things going and are really really serious about your development as a person and committed to yourself, contact me, and let’s have a 30-minutes free consultation to see where you want to be and how we can make it happen. Yes, I will take you by the hand and help you get to where you want to be. How cool is that?

I look forward to hearing from you real soon, and who knows maybe even see you in my Harley Street clinic, or in my Southampton clinic to make your dreams and goals come true.

Please like, share and comment on this blog.

Till next time.

With all my love,

From my heart to yours,

 

Jorge

 

Now is the Time

Now is the time

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 You have come so far,

Yet, the journey has just begun

Wake up! Wake up!

Don’t turn your back on the now,

Let go of the past,

What purpose does it serve you?

Where can you find that what you seek?

Isn’t the present the future you once dreamt?

Where has it gone?

What have you done?ElectronicAwakening-Image2

Wake up! Wake up!

Aren’t dreams anything but fantasies?

Is reality but a bad dream?

What do to? Where to go?

The past has left you behind,

Betrayed you with a false good-bye

Too late, too soon, it was gone.

Wake up! Wake up!

The clock is ticking,

Surrender your stubbornness,

Accept, you are all that matters

Yesterday has left you,

Tomorrow awaits you,

Trust and belief, the time is right

Your dues have been paid

Freedom has found you

Let it in, let it stay

Conquer your fears,

Let go of your yesterdays

Welcome your tomorrows

Wake up! Wake up!

The time is right, the time is now,

Now is the time,

Now is your time.

Jorge

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