What Is A Confidence Coach?

What Is A Confidence Coach?

Hi there,


I trust you are well and that you have been enjoying my blog posts. I must confess at the end of 2017 I made the commitment that I would right more often in 2018 and I am proud that I have been fulfilling that commitment so far.


Today I wanted to take the time to answer a question I get asked all the time:

What is a confidence coach?

A confidence coach is a life coach who has chosen to work with clients who have low self-confidence/self-esteem and together they work on empowering techniques to guide the client towards their confidence selves and a confident and compelling future.

There are two types of confidence coaches

  1. Coaches who found themselves almost by “accident” working with clients who have low self-confidence and over time the continue to work with these clients as they have enough experience and knowledge and they have a tried and tested set of techniques that help their clients, and
  2. Coaches who had low to almost no self-confidence; they know what it is like to have low self-esteem, so they are able to empathise with their clients because they were there themselves, and they can bring tools and skills they used from their personal experience, as well as the ones from their professional repertoire.

In my case I am the second type of coach, most of my childhood and teenage years I always felt there was something “off” with me, little did I know it was the fact I had no self-confidence/self-esteem, and this led me a suicide attempt at the age of 16 after I was outted to my mother by a priest.

The day after my suicide attempt after feeling more a failure I made the decision to speak up and talk to someone about my attempt the night before, it was at this moment I reconnected with humanity and I saw hope for the first time in my life.

So, at the age of 16 I realised I had been given a second chance and I was not going to let it go, hence I have been helping people most of my life, so they too enjoy a life with confidence and all the great things that come with it.


Like in life coaching a confidence coach will work with you towards your goals, in this case to have more confidence and together you will create a plan of action that is unique to you and you will tweak it as and when you need to.

The feedback and progress you make will determine the duration of the sessions, in average most people will take 5 to 10 sessions, sometimes more, it all depends on how you feel in yourself, the coach’s personal preferences and you budget sometimes.

Remember anything worth having requires you to put some effort and hard work to make it happen.

In summary

A confidence coach specialises in working with client who have low self-confidence.

There are two types of confidence coaches, 1) “accidental” ones who found themselves in the niche, and 2) coaches who had no confidence and overcame it, so they know too well what it is like to have low self-confidence.

It takes in average 5-10 sessions to get a level of competence where you feel condiment enough and comfortable saying so.

Thanks again for reading, if you’d like to work with a confidence coach, why not book for a free-20 minutes consultation with me?

Til next time, with all my love,



How To Be More Confident?

How To Be More Confident?


Who doesn’t want more confidence these days? We hear in the media children, teenagers and adults all being bullied, we hear of people taking advantage of their positions and roles; we hear how discrimination and hatred are seen almost everywhere.

Having more confidence would most definitely give you the strength, capacity and understanding to deal with these situations even better.

However, most of us grow thinking and believing that living the way we have always known is our reality, so we become resigned and learn to do nothing about it.

This conditioning which can be intentional or unintentional becomes our truth and we never learn to be more than we have always been; we go to school, university and work feeling less than others, not good enough for our job and most definitely not deserving of love.

Why become more confident?

In my personal experience when I learned to exercise my confidence my whole life changed, I was able to express my ideas, concerns and disagreements freely without fearing I’d be judged or not even listened to.

People started to pay more attention to me, they wanted my company AND they’d almost always ask me for my opinion. My life totally transformed for the better, I went from feeling invisible to feeling wanted and needed by others.

Just 9 short months after my suicide attempt I found love, after I felt I was not attractive enough and underserving of love too!

Things continued to improve in my 20’s and they still get better and better, simply because I grow in confidence with each day.

Remember confidence is a skill, so the more you practice and exercise it the better you get at it, learning and growth never EVER ends!

How to be more confident?

You might be wondering how can I have a slice of that cake? Or perhaps you are already working on it and you want to enjoy more of this incredible experience.

The first step to take to be more confident is to acknowledge and recognise there is a lack of self-confidence/self-esteem, that something isn’t working.

This first step is awareness, which is the first step for any change in our lives.

Once you declare you aren’t as confident as you’d like to be, assess where you are in the scale of 0-10, 0 being no confidence whatsoever to 10 being I am the bee’s knees in confidence.

Be honest when you score yourself, remember the more you know about your current situation the more you can do to create a compelling and attractive future for your self as a confident person.

Lastly, learn what is missing in your life so that you can become more confident, this could be learning how to speak to others, or how to break the ice, or how to talk to strangers.

We are all unique and we all have different confidence levels.

In my case I had to learn to do 3 things to start believing I could be confident, these were:

  • There was nothing wrong with being gay.
  • I wasn’t unattractive and unlovable, and
  • I could love myself.

Once I worked on these beliefs I had, I started to say to myself: there is nothing wrong with being gay, I am attractive and lovable, AND I love myself no matter what.

I overcame those unnecessary beliefs by using affirmations, so overtime I started to believe these things and to project them, too.

What are your beliefs or ideas of yourself that by changing them you can start to move towards your confident self?

Becoming confident isn’t rocket science, it requires awareness, the desire to improve and practice so over time you become the confident self you have always known yourself to be.

Are there any other ways to become more confident?

I learned to be more confident after my suicide attempt, I felt I was given a second chance AND I surrounded myself with people who encouraged me to be more and better, and I also sought professional help.

Working alone can be daunting and scary, we are blessed there are many experts out there who can help us achieve our goals.

If you feel you need the support of a professional, then engage with a confidence coach who can guide you through their techniques to help you become more confident.

Transformation mustn’t be scary or frightening, let a professional work with you and guide you to your confident self.


Magic happens outside the comfort zone, confidence happens outside the comfort zone and must of our dreams await us outside of our comfort zone, too!

In summary

To be more confident we must have an awareness that we don’t have enough confidence, we ought to score how confident we are in the scale of 0-10, then we must identify what we need more of to be more confident and finally practice it until we become our confident selves.

Alternatively, working with a confidence coach could be the best way forward for most of us, as they share the journey with us and guide us in what can be a daunting and scary experience.

Thank you so much for reading today’s post and if you’d like to work with a confidence coach, why not book for a free-20 minutes consultation with me?

Til next time, with all my love,




Why Should I Work With A Confidence Coach?

Why Should I Work With A Confidence Coach?


When I was a teenager talking to people about my personal life was a huge thing for me, I learned all the tricks under the sun to avoid talking about my life AND the truth is I was the one who was missing out, I was the one who was robbing himself from some useful advice and/or help.

As a teenager I had zero confidence, to the outside world I was “OK” when in reality I was NOT OK, I blagged my way through lies and pretences; no one knew where I lived (I was ashamed of our poverty), no one knew much about my life (I felt there was nothing to share about it), I was very depressed and weeks/days away from attempting suicide.

I was outted to my mother for being gay, I lost any hope I had to have a normal life in a matter of days, some of my teenage years sucked! and big time!!!

It took me years to learn to fully love and accept myself as I was with all my positive qualities and flaws. From the age of 16 to 18 I attended a weekly therapy group for gay men, here we’d talk about our lives and what was going on and we’d coach each other.

This helped me in two ways:

1) I learned how some people struggled in other areas of their life and that was equally as painful as what I was going through, I understood that someone’s pain is as valuable as mine, and

2) I understood the importance of opening and talking to someone or people who can help us and coach us in the right direction.

I started with this brief summary of where I was almost 20 years ago, I had no hope for my life, I had visualised a pretty dull and pointless life for myself; in fact, I had very little going for me.

However, life had other plans for me.

I became the last thing I ever thought I would become, a Therapist and Coach helping people to grow in confidence AND regain control of their lives, achieving their dreams and making a difference in the world.

I never saw it coming if I am honest! I was interested in the mind and helping others, but I never put them together, never mind professionally.


Why work with a confidence coach?

If you feel:

  • You have little or no self-confidence,
  • You are lacking in the certainty department,
  • You feel you don’t matter or value,
  • You aren’t worth listening to,
  • You are depressed, or
  • What is the point in being alive.

Then, a confidence coach is the right fit for you, why?

Because they have the tools necessary to help you overcome your lack of confidence.

Confidence coaches, like myself, have studied confidence and what is like to have little to no self-confidence.

In my case, I became interested and involved with clients lacking in the self-confidence department for two reasons:

  • My personal experience from the past, I was lacking so much confidence that it led me to a depression I wasn’t even aware off and ultimately almost cost me my life, the day I decided to end my life. When you don’t have confidence or self-esteem there is a price to pay, this is relationships, level of success and sometimes even our lives, and
  • When I was studying management, I carried out a research at work and I learned that many if not most employees had low self-confidence and low self-esteem because they felt unworthy of and useless for their roles, which led to poor performance at work.

We also hear stories of people whose lives have been wasted because they never addressed their “problems” on time, leading them to a life of scarcity, misery and loneliness.

Working with a confidence coach helps you get the results you want, they work with your exact “problem” and the solutions and goals will be unique to you, so you prevent the worst-case scenario ever becoming a reality.


The truth is coaching isn’t a “miracle”, it is preventative AND it moves you towards what you want rather than away from it towards that what you don’t want.

One thing clients have to understand is that it takes time to see results, sadly some people think that one session will sort their lives out! Rome was not built in one day and frankly, if some has 4 decades of mess to clean, surely it will take more than 1 hour!

I will give you my example I was very fortunate that my journey started when I was 16. At this age I sought help for the very first time AND I was willing to make it work; now almost 20 years later there are “ghosts” or “issues” from the past that come and haunt me every now and then.

This work is continuous, it never ends because we never stop growing; also, from my personal experience just because you are confident in one are of your life, it does NOT mean you will be confident in every other area, it isn’t that simple.

Working with a confidence coach helps you recognise your blind spots and what steps to take and you will have someone by your side cheering you on all the way to your goal and facilitate feedback when things don’t go as planned.

In Summary

A confidence coach is someone who knows and understands what it is like to have no confidence and they have the tools to help you become more confident and assertive in your life.

This process takes time and your coach will have your back every step of the way because when you win your coach wins too.

Thank you so much for reading and if you want a confidence coach why not take a free-20 mins consultation and find out how I can help you starting today.

Have a wonderful day.

With all my love,



How To Be You!

How To Be You!

I have to admit this it my favourite title for a blog yet!

How to be you?

My answer would be very simple and to the point:

The best way to be YOU is not to be like OR act like anyone else!

It is at this point that things get a bit “tricky” and people get confused, often I hear things like:

• I don’t have a personality,
• I don’t know how to be “me”,
• I don’t know who I want to be,
• I don’t have a role model,
• I don’t look like such and such, etc.

The list of reasons or excuses to be some else outweigh the reasons to be oneself.

So, how can you be you?

(I got to admit this is a great question, too! – I think I will be using it a lot from now on!)

The answer from everyone would be unique and personal to each person, so here is MY answer, this when I learn how I could be me.

The first thing I did was to make a list of the things I wasn’t: I wasn’t an athlete nor into sports, I wasn’t a singer (seriously, my singing is deafening!), I wasn’t an answer (how can someone have 2 left feet, it is a mystery!), I wasn’t blond, I wasn’t tall, I wasn’t short, I wasn’t a genius, I wasn’t wealthy.

This gave an idea (by elimination) of what my personality/identity was like.

Then, I made another list of the things I didn’t want to be: I didn’t want to be lazy, I didn’t want to be obese, I didn’t want to be unhealthy, I didn’t want to be unfit, I didn’t want to be “just another person in the crowd”, I didn’t want to be a victim, I didn’t want to be a bad person.

Again, this list gave me an idea of what I might want to be as a person, which direction to take in order to be the person I didn’t know how to be.

I asked myself: what excites you; I loved cooking (still do and I became a chef), I loved learning (my self-education is the best gift I have given myself by far!), I loved teaching and simplifying things for others (I have become a trainer to share my passion with others), I loved fiction and poetry (I have published my poems and recited them in public, written non-fiction and just started writing my first fiction book!), I loved crystals and gems (I am mineral collector and crystal healer), I loved the mind (I am now a therapist and coach), I loved talking to people (I help people through my work as a coach), I loved helping people (I do that through ALL of my work!).

ALL of the things that excited me when I started my personal development journey are very much part of what I do in my work, they excited me and I found a way to align my joy and excitement with my personality and career.

Lastly, I asked myself: what is the one thing you would like to accomplish in life? It took me a while to answer this question as I had to sit with it, when it came, this is what I came up with: what I want to accomplish in life is that every single person I get in contact with is awakened to their potential, so they leave their reasons behind and they start creating the life of their dreams, achieving abundance, joy, laughter, love and total happiness. A bit unambitious, I know!

That is the moment I discovered I wanted to be of help to others, empower them and create victors who forget excuses and remember reasons to be amazing and reasons to do instead of not to do.

I learned that the person I had to be was someone big, bold, courageous, brave, a go getter, powerful, strong and committed. I was sold!

I wanted to be that person, I fell in love with the idea of being strong! I grew up “thinking” I was the runt of the litter! I had all the reasons to give up on my dreams and life, yet I didn’t because I found the idea of being all of these amazing things more powerful than being a runt of a litter or a victim!

A list of qualities, characteristics and attributes stood in front of me and I got busy becoming ALL of these things AND I found ways to become ALL of them.

I became a confidence and success coach and having confidence opens all these doors to so many but I had to start with myself, so I could tell the tale to others, like I am doing right now.

To be you, you have to be honest and transparent with yourself, the truth is not many people give two flying f*cks, I used to hold myself back because of what others might think.

When I put two and two together and I got much more than 4, I got common sense; people would only care about things for minutes, hours or days at the very maximum, after that they’d forget about it ALL, because they also have their own inner stuff, battles or sh*t that keep them preoccupied.

Discovering how to be you is a journey that you MUST be willing to embark on and learn what hasn’t been learn, grow muscles and attitudes you haven’t yet, study and learn skills that haven’t been learned, leave the unwanted/unnecessary behind, search for what’s needed instead of what you think might be wanted.

Becoming you is learning about yourself, what makes you tick and what triggers you (trust me on the last one!!!), it is about learning to communicate effectively (I learn something new on this subject daily!), it is about being honest with yourself and your intentions and quite frankly it isn’t about you either, it is about others!

How to be you can only be learned by you, others might be able to help you but ultimately it is up to YOU whether you become a “copycat” or an unique print of yourself!

In Summary

To be you, you mustn’t be someone else, you ought to discover who you are by embarking on a journey of self-discovery learning what hasn’t been learned AND putting what you learn into practice, aligning your passions, what you love and excite you with how you can help others.

Being authentic, genuine and original makes so much more sense when others benefit from it, and the more people you help the greater the rewards you reap.

Thank you so much for reading today’s post and please share with your friends and family.

With all my love,


My Week In 500 Words – v2

My Week In 500 Words – v2

It is a great feeling when you get from the week rather than through the week!

Things seem to make so much more sense.

There were three things that really stood out for me and these are:

1. People are ALWAYS a contribution to us, I believe communication is a gift that we give others and ourselves, and it is in these interactions that we learn so much about others, how we occur to them AND ways in which we can improve, feedback is such a powerful tool that well used has the potential to transform our lives.
2. I spent a couple of hours in the part taking pictures of pigeons and I remembered how great it is to be in nature surrounded by animals and watch them be, there is such harmony and balance in the way they co-exist that we can learn from them. I left feeling so energised and connected to everything, including myself, great experience.
3. This third point is very fresh, it literally happened an hour ago or so; I received an email from the daughter of a lady I used to know. It read: Please join us in remembering the life of our Mother, we can’t believe it has been 3 years already. I remembered hearing the news 3 years and how I felt, I met this lady only once and she touched my soul in such a way that I remember her fondly; I sent her daughter an email sharing how much her mother meant to me and how I still remember her, that the Christmas card she gave me all those years ago I still keep and when I read it I feel her Energy, I feel how she empowers me and encourages me to carry on being great and to NEVER give up on my dreams, that whatever I focus on I attract. I felt such gratitude for having met her and having learned so much from her, as I said to her daughter she will forever be in my heart and soul for she has been one of the greatest influences in my life.

Writing this summary of my week is a great strategy for me to go over what I have done, accomplished and learned in the last 7 days, by doing this I feel I am getting from the week twice as much.

It is important to mention my week isn’t that perfect, I have made mistakes, I have cursed things (and myself) at times and there have been seconds in which I feel like: what is the point?

But is having in mind what my friend who passed away 3 years ago said: whatever you focus on you attract, and I have been choosing to focus on the good stuff and sharing it with others so I get more of if and feel the benefits twice as much.

Thank you for reading, till next time,

With all my love,


YOU Are Precious!

Yesterday I was having a good catch-up with a friend and we talked about pretty much there is to talk when 2 friends who haven’t seen each other for a number of months.

As you can imagine this went on for a while, with lots of laughter and banter.

Then we were talking about our careers and goals, at this point we talked about rates and time and I simply said my fees match how much my time is worth as it is precious to me.

My friend looked at me and smiled and he said:

Your time isn’t precious, YOU ARE!

At this point he could see my jaw dropping to the floor.

My friend reminded me of something so simple and powerful which is my worth.

For a while now I have allowed myself to subscribe to the theory that istis our time that is precious… and yes our time is finite and once it is gone that’s it! We can’t get it back…

But hearing my friend reminder I was able to see that it isn’t the time I am investing that is precious, it is my input and what I bring into the hour that makes it precious, how I perceive myself and my worth.

I define how precious my time is based on what I do or don’t with it.

My day was totally enhanced by this realisation/reminder that it doesn’t matter what I do or for how long, I am the one who dictates how precious/valuable what I am doing actually is, not the length of time spent doing it.

Again, this chat with my friend stressed how powerful it is when we allow others in and how much they can teach you in just a few seconds and with very few words.

Thank you for reading, till next time,


Benefits Of Being Organised

Benefits Of Being Organised

Often we hear people saying the secret to their success is: either their organisational skills/time keeping or their drive.

All of these are right and in simplistic terms whatever works for each individual.

I have previously touched on time and drive, so today I thought I’d talk about being organised?

But what are the benefits?

Again, depending on what we are after or our profession, being organised could mean or manifest differently like having systems in place, or being on time, following up or simply getting things done.

I am listing 5 top benefits of being organised in my experience.

1. Peace of mind! I dislike the idea of overcomplicating my life, so I schedule EVERYTHING and stick to that schedule unless I must change it. Having a clear idea lf what I am doing frees me from any of the stresses I may encounter during the day AND it keeps stress itself away.

2. A sense of achievement, it doesn’t matter how big or small a task, if a plan goes as planned it just feels amazing and motivated you to do even more.

3. Frees time for other activities, knowing what to do and when and sticking to that plan means you are time rich, you won’t waste a second unnecessarily and ALL your time will be wisely invested.

4. It gives you more credibility, who doesn’t want to be known as the go getter and the one who gets things done? It is great for our self-esteem too!

5. Gives you time for yourself! Being organised and on top of everything gives you you time! A lot of people feel overwhelmed and snowed under because they aren’t getting things done or lack of organisation.

Let’s be quite frank and honest here, there are two types of people in the world:

• The ones who get through the day, and

• The ones who get from the Day.

Which one are you?

Due to my work I have learned and noticed how our performance is an mirror representation of our inner world.

In fewer words our lack of results is telling us there is something to be dealt with.

The big S or stress is also a HUGE influencing factor in our results and organisational skills.

Stress is much more than being anxious or overwhelmed, it almost literally drives our states and interactions.

If we don’t pay attention to what is happening in our outter world let’s face we won’t know there might be something needing addressing in our inner world.

Remember how previously I have mentioned that the first step to change anything is awareness? If we aren’t aware of the results we are or aren’t producing through our organisational skills we won’t know what needs to be improved.

Isn’t it powerful how the way we do one thing is the way we do everything?

Thank you for reading today’s post, till next time,


How To Feel Great In 1 Minute?

How To Feel Great In 1 Minute?

Often we are told that change takes time, and yes depending on the case it can take some time; and this alone can make us feel overwhelmed and somehow discouraged.

However, I have learned in theory and the hard way that nothing can be started, done or achieved if we aren’t in the right frame of mind OR feeling great.

You can’t be happy if you feel sad, right?

But, how long does it take to feel great?

Forever? Ages? Who knows? How long is a piece of string?

It takes virtually no time to feel great!

I will share 2 things that can make you feel great in 1 minute:

1. Gratitude: you can’t feel ‘miserable’ if you are grateful; often we forget what’s right and what is good in our lives, focus on this and you will see how your mood shifts and you start to feel amazing immediately.

2. Breathe: sometimes we just need to stop and take a deep breath in and let some clarity in so we notice the reality of things, how things aren’t as bad as we make them out to be.

Feeling great isn’t rocket science, it requires practice and knowing what make us feel great.

We live in a society were our culture is that of “instant gratification” and we want most things now!

Even feeling great can be achieved right now… in just under a minute.

Practice these two tips on how to feel great in a minute and do it daily, let this feeling take over your day, week, month AND life.

Allow yourself to feel great.

Thank you for reading.

Till next time, with all my love,


Lessons Learned Through Modern Energy Art

Lessons Learned Through Modern Energy Art


Nothing in life is worth doing if we aren’t learning any lessons from it, either good or bad lessons.

For as long as I can remember I have been a student of life, I guess I have one of those personalities where I have to have answers and if the people I ask don’t have them and I get to work and I do whatever it takes to get those answers.

I believe there are no mistakes or errors or booboos of f*ck ups in life, simply feedback and lessons, we will continue to “mess up” until we learn these lessons and then eventually move on.

Recently talking to a friend I commented on how blessed I was, as for most of my life I have learned through other people’s “mistakes” and “testimonials”, so my learning curve has been rather quick and pleasant too.

In personal development it is said that the first step for change is: awareness.

When you have awareness you literally see magic unfold before your very eyes and EVERYTHING seems to ‘make sense’, it is a great feeling and life becomes a walk in the park.

But what happens when you don’t have this awareness?

Truthfully, not much!!! Life, work, romance, you name it, these things do NOT seem to work at all; we are stressed, ‘under pressure’, we feel useless, overwhelming feelings, etc., etc.

Without awareness life isn’t as joyous or fun. Without it, you don’t know what you are doing right or ‘wrong’, what mistakes are being made, what needs to be improved, whether what you are doing works or not. Simple tasks can take up to twice as long, EVERYTHING becomes a burden or a chore!

If you are like me (especially if you are in personal development), there comes a point when you get to the ‘good stuff’ in your life, and by this I mean the stuff that has not being dealt with before AND this is when real and incredible transformation starts to take place.

Though, two things tend to occur here:

  1. We might not want to talk to anyone, for various reasons; or,
  2. We have no idea what is holding us back.

So, if we don’t have this ‘awareness’ to solve a ‘problem’ because we don’t want to talk about or because we don’t know what it is, what do we do?

More personal development? Or, try something new?

I guess this would be a very personal choice and I will share what I did and what insight and awareness it shone into my life.

Modern Energy Art


When we talk or hear Art, we immediately thing of Picasso, Da Vinci, Michelangelo, etc., people that history has told us are the greatest and most amazing artists EVER, and when we see their art we either think: what a masterpiece or what the hell!

I grew up thinking I was not good at drawing, never mind art.

Memories from childhood would haunt me, having to draw vases, or fruit baskets, or landscapes (the idea of art would trigger the hell out of me!); so, it’d end up either asking my mum to do it for me OR paying my cousin to do it for me.

Arts and Sports were my nemesis at school!

Every time I was colouring something in I’d go out of the edges and I’d lose my temper. In a nutshell, I quit the idea of EVER being an artist at a very young age.

There was no hope in hell for me as an artist, or at least I thought that.

In order for healing to occur and take place something magical has to happen or be done; though, in my experience our instinct (or 6th sense) always knows and when we listen to it we give this healing permission to take place.

I am blessed to say that I ‘almost’ always listen to my 6th sense and when I don’t I regret it immediately.

So, last year a friend, mentor and role model, Silvia Hartmann announced she’d be opening a coaching programme called: Modern Energy Art Apprenticeship; the second I heard about it I knew I had to do it.

However, at first, I made every excuse under the sun as to why I couldn’t do it:

  • Time,
  • Money,
  • Energy,
  • Was it worth it,
  • Do I have all the resources needed,
  • I am not an artist!,
  • What if I can’t do it, etc.

The typical excuses we all make and the ones I encourage my clients to dismiss when they REALLY want something!

Here is the thing, Silvia only opened it to 12 people and the spaces were flying real quick, as many people I suffer from F.O.M.O (fear of missing out), so every time she announced there was another space gone my heart would skip a beat.

I was sat on the fence for days and when there were only two spaces left I jumped in.

So, I got to work and I emailed Silvia for my first task! Originally the idea of doing art by myself without a tutor or teacher by my side was terrifying.

I loved how everything started! Silvia simply asked:

What were your first memories of art?

That was easy for me to answer: I loved playing with crayons when I was a child, I loved the freedom of doodling on the paper for hours on end, the smell of the wax and feeling of the crayons on the paper.

As I was typing the answer I had my first breakthrough and insight! I saw how this was a great investment, opportunity and the vehicle I needed to move to the next level AND I was thankful to my 6th sense for guiding me to it.

Then we moved onto the first drawing, an egg, what a metaphor! The beginning and birth of something new…


So, I did my first egg, it was painted using crayons. When I was drawing and painting the egg I was a child again, full of hope and dreams, the joy and love that irradiated from me at that moment was so healing and powerful that I lost track of time.

The feeling was so addictive that I did 2 more eggs and I had another insight:

I realised how much I judged people! I used to comment about people who were buying colouring books and colouring in instead of getting one with their work and lives; I learned I was the one missing out, I was the one who wasn’t healing nor giving myself the time to reenergise or clear my mind.

More tasks came in and I was producing even more paintings, when I thought I couldn’t paint or do any form of art.

Second insight:

I was making excuses for the sake of making excuses! How can I know I can’t do anything if I don’t give it a go? I couldn’t draw as a child but that doesn’t mean I can’t do it as an adult!

As the days, weeks and months went through I was learning so much about myself, without even looking for these answers!!!


I started to notice improvements in other areas of my life too!

Lessons learned through Modern Energy Art:

  1. I judged people without knowing their motives for doing what they were doing,
  2. I was making excuses for the sake of making them,
  3. I discovered how much of a perfectionist I was and how it was holding me back!,
  4. I realised I dislike the idea of being told what to AND following instructions/systems,
  5. I learned that in order to solve a problem, I must focus on the solution instead of the problem,
  6. When you are ready to be healed the healing event will manifest itself,
  7. Best healing occurs without words,
  8. Energy is ever present and the more Energy you put into something, the more you will get out,
  9. You are responsible for your happiness and joy, you ought to look for what’s missing,
  10. Intuition is everything, our 6th sense is there for a reason, lets use it,
  11. Energy well spent is Energy well invested,
  12. I learned I can do anything and that I am unstoppable, I am the only one who can stop me,
  13. I learned that the past really doesn’t define me, it is what I do in the now that does,
  14. Art isn’t rocket science, it is a form of self-expression therefore an Energy exchange,
  15. I am creative and not just an Artist, but a Modern Energy Artist,
  16. I discovered that I am awesome,
  17. I learned to love my creations, people’s opinions count but they aren’t everything,
  18. I learned to give myself a pat on the back, I am creating magic in my life,
  19. I realised the importance of feedback and how powerful and healing it can be,
  20. I learned there is so much more to discover about me and that I am only getting started!

I have taken a small selection of the lessons I have learned so far, it pleases to know I made the right decision when I took on this programme and how far I have come.

Energy is awareness and it is this what moves us forward and closer to our enlightenment and the life of our dreams.

In conclusion


Energy art is not just art, it is a self-healing tool where you the artist creative art as well as evolve and learn valuable lessons about yourself and your life.

You grow, you evolve, you discover what you are capable of.

Magic appears in your life, stays in your soul and you continue to sparkle towards your awesomeness.

What’s not to like?

Thank you so much for reading and comment on this post and let me know your experiences with art either as an artist or as a admirer.

Till next time,


How To Raise Your Energy Levels?

How To Raise Your Energy Levels?

How To Raise Your Energy Levels

Often people ask me: How on Earth do you manage to do so much? And how come you never seem to be doing much either?

I laugh a little and respond: Because I am smart!

The truth is that THAT is my secret I am smart! What do I mean by smart?

I spend my Energy efficiently AND I know how to get endless amounts of Energy!

That is a big statement I would hear some say and IT IS!

If you read yesterday’s blog post “How to get ‘stuff’ done”, there I mentioned I had to become disciplined AND the person who could achieve the big and ambitious goals I had, but there was something else I was doing that I didn’t discover till years later.

I was managing my Energy levels and state (more of this on another post). I was using Energy techniques that moved me forward and enabled me speed many tasks up.

How do you raise your Energy levels?

Have you noticed how I capitalise the word Energy, for me it is such an underused and underestimated resource.

Firstly, was is Energy?

I think an even better question to ask is what isn’t Energy? Energy is in everything AND it is EVERYTHING!

We find Energy in our foods for our nutrition, we use Energy to power our cars, for electricity, gas, etc., etc., the list can go on and on and on… We even use it in our day to day lives in phrases like, I can feel something is going to happen, or I get a negative vibe from someone…

We aren’t strangers to Energy, yet at the same time we don’t understand it much or use it to our advantage.

Adding to yesterday’s post what I was doing was I was Energising my goals, myself and how I did everything.

Who wouldn’t want a piece of that cake?

There are many ways to raise our Energy levels and I will describe what I used to do to inspire me to get to work quicker and get sh*t done, I’d focus on how achieving that goal would make me feel once I achieved it AND I’d bring that amazing feeling (Energy) to the present and let it drive me to work harder. It worked each and every time. I was up to my neck in tasks and assignments; work was very demanding too and I got it ALL done!

So, as I also mentioned yesterday at that time I started a new relationship, so I would NOT waste a second I had to spare AND I would get ALL of my tasks done as quick and fast as I could, why? I had something to look forward to, my new love wanted to see me, so I’d get to work and seeing him would be my reward.

Similar scenario, there was something motivating me and empowering me to get EVERYTHING done, this driving force this ‘thing’ is our Energy being channelled and put to good work.

Last year, in the first quarter I felt compelled and driven to write a book where I could share with people some of the techniques I have used in the past to raise my Energy AND have fun above all.

What’s the point in doing anything if you can’t have fun, right?

There was one little ‘situation’, I had been using this techniques at a subconscious level which means, I didn’t know I was using them unless someone pointed them out to me, and no one EVER did!

I got to work and I started journaling what I was doing when I was at my most efficient and proactive. I did this for a couple of weeks and I was fascinated by my findings and how simple these techniques were, things that anyone could do at anytime and anywhere!

That’s how 23 Ways To Raise Your Energy Levels came to be, from the desire to be able to tell others how they can raise their Energy too, AND so I knew what I was doing ‘unconsciously” and apply when I needed some extra Energy and when I was ‘feeling sorry’ for myself.

23 Ways To Raise Your Energy Levels

The more Energy you have, the more you can do and the more you can give; Energy goes way beyond physicality, or nutrition, or “drinking coffee/redbull”.

Energy IS real and when you know how to use it to your advantage and to enrich your life, everything changes, you transform and evolve, AND you become the person you know yourself to be.

These techniques aren’t rocket science, I have given you two that aren’t in the book (now I can say I have 25 techniques that raise my Energy levels! Hehe).

Do you want more Energy in your life, then get to work, do something about it NOW!

I produce content and I put it out there for people to benefit from it, so it is up to you now, get your copy of 23 Ways To Raise Your Energy Levels, right here: https://dragonrising.com/store/23_ways_to_raise_your_energy_levels/ and start feeling the benefits right away.

Thank you for reading and till next time.

With all my love,








How To Get ‘Stuff’ Done?

How To Get ‘Stuff’ Done?

How to Get Stuff Done (1)

When I was all “new” to adulthood and goal setting I was totally naïve, I had no idea about what I wanted nor how to get what I wanted.

I had very limited skills, I had a lot “potential” and yet I felt stuck!

Growing up I was very academic, which to be totally honest was more coincidental than anything else as I had a “pushy mother” on the one hand and no friends on the other!

What I mean to say is: studying hard and spending some time gathering information was NOT uncommon for me nor challenging…

So, I got to work and with what I found I was left even more confused!!!

Truthfully, it didn’t take much to confuse me as EVERYTHING was new to me, I became an adult far away from what I was used to: different language, different environment, different culture and I was alone, I had no family with me, just a partner who didn’t know how to communicate the adult stuff to me.

I read and read AND read till my eyes went red and square; I even found myself searching for the meaning of life, there had to be a clue somewhere.

All I found was:

  • You have to be motivated to achieve your goals and get sh*t done,
  • You have to set SMART goals (I did wonder who’d want to set STUPID goals?) LOL!,
  • You have to commit and be accountable for your actions,
  • You have to get to work straight away.

These all made sense and kind of did make a difference in my life at the time, however, it was through my own trial and error that I learned what was missing.

The missing link!

It wasn’t until I was in my late 20’s and tired of the “rat race” and being dictated my worth that I got serious about creating a vision and a very compelling future for myself, so something I have never done had to be done.

What was it?


I had to be disciplined and do what others wouldn’t do to work magic in my life, I wanted to be self-employed and call my shots, I had to be someone else, someone who’d be stopped at NOTHING!

How did I do this?

When I look back and see what I did then I admire myself for the sacrifices made and EVERYHTING I did to make my dreams come true.

I was working full-time for a catering company and at the same time I was studying a full time Management course in my local college, a part time accountancy foundation AND some online courses.

I didn’t sleep more than 3 hours for months and months, I never missed one day at work or college, I submitted all my assignments on time AND I started a new relationship at the same time. If I am honest, the new relationships was the hardest!!!

How to Get Stuff Done (2)

The discipline I introduced into my routine was worthy of the military, up at the crack of dawn and I’d be up until EVERYTHING that had to be done was done. I pushed myself to new heights and I discovered I could do WHATEVER I set my mind to.

If I am honest, my dreams didn’t materialise immediately, it was on the second year of my Management course when I noticed how poorly staff were trained at work, how they were made feel they were unworthy of their jobs and this resulted in all of them having a low self-esteem, ultimately affecting the results at work.

This was the moment I discovered I was only getting started and there was more I had to do to not only work on my terms but to help people overcome their self-esteem and confidence issues, and to provide the appropriate training tools for employers so their staff performance and self-esteem were EVER increasing.

In conclusion

The 2 lessons I learned to get stuff done were:

  • I had to be disciplined, do what I had never done before, go where I had never gone before and do whatever (within reason!) it took to get sh*t done!
  • I had to become someone else, not a crummy version of someone else or a copy-cat, but a me that would stop at NOTHING to make my dreams come true, to overcome the obstacles that would come my way and have the strength I needed to go all the way where my dreams were.

This is what I learned worked for me, becoming disciplined and a better, stronger version of myself, I added these to the goal setting, motivation and ALL the other things I had learned.

You want to know what?

That search I did about the meaning of life did help, it enabled me to distinguish that I had to think of others and have a purpose, essentially become more to do more.

Powerful stuff, right?

I am glad you have read today’s post and I look forward to writing more useful content for you.

With all my love,


My Week In 500 Words – Week 1

My Week In 500 Words – Week 1

I find the beginning of the year a tough time! For the last decade or so I have faced the consequences or reaped the rewards of my actions, the steps taken or not.

So far, I have been working really hard so 2018 is my best year yet! And I know it will be!!!

Clients bookings coming in all directions, students wanting to train with me, my sense of wellbeing and fitness increasing AND in the right direction, motivating and inspiring others and myself at the same time.

All these boxes and some more have been ticked so far, in the last week, in the first 7 days of the year.

I have taken the time to reflect on 2017 and all the incredible lessons I brought with me to this year, I set very clear and empowering goals that WILL transform many lives.

At midnight when we entered into 2018 I made the conscious decision that I would raise my standards AND the bar so high so that I can become the person that can achieve my ambitious goals.

I’ve had the honour to spend some precious time with my partner and creating memories that will bring us closer together and take us to new heights personally and in our relationship. I reflected on how incredibly fortunate I am to have him by my side, for being my rock and support at ALL times.

My health has become so important to me that I have almost become evangelical about the importance of being healthy or healthier and creating a movement of health to empower and heal the world. So, now my next big goal is my fitness, I want to achieve the body and fitness level I deserve and that requires some discipline.

Yesterday was such a great day as I caught up with a friend and our conversation was so healing and powerful for the both of us and I am EVER so grateful to have that calibre of people in my live, it’s a joy!

As if things weren’t great enough I committed myself to writing my first fiction novel to a room of 15 people, who are aspiring writers! They will hold me accountable for it and it is a great feeling to know there are people who barely know you and yet they care about you honouring your word!

Gosh, I am so blessed I sometimes forget how lucky I am to be where I am and doing what I am doing! Yes, I know I have worked for it but to be able to reflect on it and see it on a regular basis is such a blessing.

I can confirm and announce that my first week in 2018 has been an amazing and powerful week that I am so excited and looking to discovering what else will be coming my way in the next days, weeks and months.

To an even better year.

Forever yours,


How Much Can A Conversation Help You?

We love to talk and have a conversation with everyone around us, these connect us and can be healing too, for all those involved.

Though, in my personal experience and that of my clients, family and friends we just talk about the superficial stuff and take everything else for granted OR we think others won’t care.

I used to withhold and be shallow and superficial in my conversations, they didn’t take me far and almost cost me my life.

I felt alone, lonely, unwanted and a burden to my family and society, but everyone thought I was fine and just another moody teenager.

The day after my suicide attempt that withholding stopped and I opened up, I spoke to someone about my life and how I felt.

That conversation without a shadow of a doubt saved my life, I learned people cared and they’d do whatever they can to help… all that is needed is for us to open up.

Why am I going on about this?

This year I have made myself the commitment to be there for everyone I know and to make new friends.

Today a friend phoned me and asked me round so I went and we had such a great conversation that lasted for hours.

What was great about this conversation was the generosity and honesty of every word spoken, we just had a real and open conversation.

We didn’t pretend to be anyone else but ourselves, we didn’t have to mind our every word and openly would disagree with each other without arguing about it.

That honesty and openness opened a gate of compliments and kindness and love that you don’t see every day.

Here is what we fail to do in our conversations, we are (or can be) very stingy and inauthentic… these create blockages and barriers that stop the real communication and there is almost no real content to it all.

It was a great reminder of the magic that takes place when we openly, honestly and humanly talk to another person AND the connection it strengthens, and the feeling afterwards is so rewarding.

Talking about ourselves can be scary and awkward at first but over time it gets easier to openly talk about what is worrying us and our concerns, and problems.

I invite you to have more open and honest conversations with your loved ones, and please let me know how these enrich your lives. Give it a go.

Till next time, with all my love,


5 Lessons Learned From Watching Molly’s Game

5 Lessons Learned From Watching Molly’s Game


These days it is almost essential to have a way to unwind and forget about stress or worries, just for a short while anyway.

Some of us are quite sneaky and savvy and take this unwinding period and get the most from it.

Remember you either go through your day or get from the day. I know what I’d much rather do…

As you will know I am a coach, trainer, author, poet, healer, chef, entrepreneur and I love learning; some would say I never switch off!

Some people say/ask how do they even relate?

They have two things in common me and Energy; Energy is in EVERYTHING and it is what makes things come together, make sense and materialise them before our own eyes.

So, on New Year’s day my partner and I went to the movies to watch Molly’s Game, I was expecting just another film with a bit of action here and there and when you stripped all the good bits away you’d end up with nothing.

Truth be told because of my vivid and wild imagination I find movies predictable, boring and quite frankly marketing vehicles where we all can see who is sponsoring the movie!!!

Boy meets girl, fights enemy, wins or loses and the end… Joseph Campbell’s The Hero’s Journey, story telling, novel writing 101…! – No sarcasm intended I promise! – OK, maybe a little.

My expectations were pretty low, I just fancied a nice time with my other half welcoming 2018 romantically and calmly.

But boy I was not expecting to get so many life lessons from that movie.

Here are the 5 lessons learned from watching Molly’s Game

1. We are too quick to judge our parents: Without going into too many details as to what happens in the movie, Molly’s relationship with her dad was far from ideal, leading to a broken relationship in her adult life, what she doesn’t know is that her dad always loved her and he was too ashamed of himself and what he had done in the past. We often judge our parents and create a story in our heads as to why they are the way they are, we buy into this story and we don’t let go of it. Parents are humans too and they do the best they can with the resources available to them. Let’s be kind to them (this includes me too!)!
2. It only takes one second to change the course of our lives (for the better or for the worse!): Molly by many people’s standard was a bright kid with everything going for her, though one accident made her decide to take a year off and head to LA, there she meets someone who’d introduce her a life and lifestyle she’d soon become addicted to, getting deeper and deeper into an abyss of greed, luxuxy and a life many of us would consider impossible, yet she orchestrated it and created it herself from scratch, bringing to life the ideal fantasy for powerful men. Had that accident never happened, how would her life be different?
3. Intelligence and potential does no equal success: it is hard to believe that someone bright, sharp and with the world at their feet would jeopardise it all by going in the opposite direction, sadly we all know that that is not the case. I have seen it in my life and with many of my clients, we seem to have it all set for us and events AND our sense of unworthiness sabotage it, and unavoidably we end up further away from where we were expected to be by ourselves and others. This reminds me something one of my tutors from college said to me once: real intelligence is not what you know but how you apply what you know.
4. It is one belief or decision that shapes our lives and destiny: there is a powerful moment in the movie (I say powerful as it almost reduced me to tears!) where Molly is met by her dad and they had a long overdued conversation. Here her dad who in the movie is a psychologist says Molly you are addicted to the power over powerful men, that’s why you do what you do. Incredibly powerful statement and insight as to why she did what she did, loving the feeling of being in control and being powerful over the most influential and powerful men in the world, just because she wanted to prove to her dad she was powerful too! Awareness doesn’t get any better than this. One belief, one decision that drives to do unthinkable and crazy stuff without us being fully aware of it.

5. To wake up from our carelessness and destructive behaviours something bad has to happen: as crazy as it may sound we let things go further than they should. In the movie there are two scenes that were her wake-up call; the first one is when she gets a beating for not liaising with some gangsters and the second when the FBI gets involved! I know these are extreme cases but when we look around us people’s lives are transformed and shaped by violence, crime, abuse, drugs, alcohol, bullying. I have known of people who had to be arrested to start a ‘new life’, the death of a child or parent, illness and disease, it doesn’t matter how big or small it may appear to us but these pivotal moments have the leverage to force us to make new decisions.
In conclusion 

I thoroughly enjoyed watching the movie and I felt I was the viewer who got away with all the good stuff. I felt truly blessed to have watched this movie and take this as a warning of how things can turn out IF I don’t stay on course or IF I don’t seek the help I need or IF I don’t get the support I need.

As Jim Rohn used to say there are two types of stories:
• Stories of success and inspiration, and
• Warnings: DO NOT DO THIS!!!

Surprisongly in Molly’s case her story is a bit of both: it is a warning and it is a success, waking up on time and turning her life around and sharing it with the world.

If you get the chance go and watch this movie and see it as more than a movie, well it is more than a movie as it is based on a true story and I believe she has been kind enough to share it with us.

I saw areas of my life in which I have been careless and now I can rectify them and stay on course, carry on with my purpose and continue to inspire others.

This is it for today. Carry on being awesome.

Before we say goodbay (for today) follow my blog and subscribe to my newsletter, too.

Have a sensational day.

With all my love,


The Importance Of KISSing

The Importance Of KISSing


I got your attention, right?

Sadly I am not going to talk to you about kissing!

What I want to talk to you about is the importance of Keeping It Simple Stupid…

Why is it important to keep things simple and somehow basic?

Because the more complex and complicated the execution of anything, and I mean any project, job or task, the more likely it is to end up as an act of procrastination, or an end product/result you aren’t 100% satisfied with.

What do you know when your project/task is simple enough?

It is said that real genius is when you can explain anything to a 5 year old and they get it.

Also, you know your project is simple enough when you see yourself achieving it, it doesn’t overwhelm you and it makes you want to get on with it by taking immediate action.

A word of advice here is, do NOT let the idea that just because it is simple fool you, anything you want to get and achieve in your life requires immediate action, there is no time like the now.

If you are lacking confidence in yourself or an overall lack of direction as to how to tackle your goals, help is always available, shop around, ask others and find someone who can help you grow in confidence and become successful. Click here to visit my website.

The secret to any success is to have a simple and easy to follow system that will get you where you want to be.

Complex tasks and projects lead to disappointment and overwhelm.

Simple and easily structured tasks and projects lead to self-belief and certainty in oneself.

Remember, if you have a project you want to tackle and achieve successfully, simply give it a good KISS by keeping it simple stupid.

Till next time,



100 Years Of Solitude

100 Years Of Solitude

For as long as I can remember I have enjoyed and totally loved reading, at first it started like a way to cope with life and avoid loneliness, it then became a passion that has helped me a great deal.

I started reading fiction or non-fiction, literature and prose; I always loved putting myself in the author’s shoes and decipher what he wanted to put across to the reader, I would get lost in those pages for hours and hours (and still do).

Later in life I switched to personal development and business, and success and every now and then I lose myself (again) in a nice fictional book.

One of the books that had a huge impact in my life was 100 years of solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez aka Gabo.


Before I tell you why I want to give you a bit of background.

My family (most of them, anyway) are of humble means, in fact my generation was the first generation to have had the privilege to have an education, our parents and grandparents didn’t, in fact my great grandmother (who is still alive) didn’t have any education whatsoever.

It is fair to say that education and personal growth weren’t the main priority in their lives, it was all about “survival”, getting a job (didn’t matter what it was!), having a roof over their head (and their children!) and paying the bills (and maybe have the luxury to do some nice things!); I know some of you would even say that that is the case with many people nowadays, and you’d be right!

So, that is the background of 3 generations in my family (we are 5 generations living side by side).

Oh, and before I forget I read this book in 2005 when I was already living in England.

The reason I loved this book is because it beautifully described many (if not most) people’s reality in Latin America.

What is that?

Doing the same things their parents have always done, repeating the same mistakes; in fact, there would be 3 (or more) generations living under the same roof!

In this book Gabriel talks about an imaginary community (Macondo), based on what he knew and had seen in Colombia growing up.

As I was reading the pages of this book it felt as if I was reading my family’s biography and friends families, it felt real and I had seen it with my own eyes.

The family in the book perpetuating that vicious circle and they weren’t even aware of it, it all seemed “normal”.

It was OK to live with your parents and their parents, and getting married and bringing your partner to live in your house and bringing a child to the world and keeping it in the same environment, not broadening its horizons.

I will not spoil the book giving you too much information, it simply is a must read.

So, what I learned from reading this book was that I was brave and courageous when I chose to sever my connection from that vicious circle, I wanted to see the world, I wanted to be “different” and I wanted to do things that no one has ever done in my family.

At first it wasn’t easy because I felt guilty, and now when I look back I know it was one of the best decisions I have ever made because I get to do things I love and I am starting something new.

I am making my own mistakes and learning from them, I am travelling and seeing the world, I am doing things I want to do and not things I am “expected” to do, I call the shots and I live a life powerfully and I love it.

You want to know something?

Many (if not most) of my family are still living in the same vicious circle, that’s what they have always known and otherwise is “odd” and “strange” and totally “alien” to them.

The connections and bonds we have to those lifestyles can be too strong to break sometimes and it may take many generations to break away from them.

Two things come to mind:

  1. Einstein’s definition of insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expect different results. And

  2. Some people believe that it takes up to seven generations to break away from a vicious circle.

Was I the “odd” one out? Was my birth the chosen one from a 7th generation and the others weren’t? who knows?

Though, I wanted to share with you about that book and how it almost felt like I was reading my family’s biography.

If you haven’t read this book, I highly recommend you do, you might even discover something from your family in there too.

Till next time,


3 Tips To Help You Feel More Confident – Infographic Download

3 Tips To Help You Feel More Confident – Infographic Download


I know how surreal it is to believe that one day you can stop lacking in confidence.

I have been there and if anyone EVER told me that one day I would be confident and enjoy its rewards I would have laughed and continued feeling the way used to feel.

Feeling lonely, feeling sad, feeling empty, I, too, was there. In fact, I never thought I’d stop having that empty feeling in my heart.

Wherever you are, just know there is, ALWAYS, hope and a way out.

Though, I have been there and done, I know how “challenging” it is to see other ways and even believe that that is even possible.

So, today, I want to share 3 tips that will help you to feel more confident.

Are you ready?

3 tips to help you feel more confident:

  1. Know that it will soon be over: when you know that whatever is going in your life will only be there for a short while and that great things will be coming your way.

As I said I have been there and I know what it is like to feel like you will never ever be confident. Though, when is started feeling that it would soon be over, it did and 9 months after (after committing suicide and failing!), I someone who loved me for me and 2 years after meeting him I was living in a different country, my whole transformed!!!

  1. Know that you are stronger than you think: this was a pivotal moment in me gaining confidence because I knew there was a strength in me that I had yet to tap into and that drove to want to experience it and have it, I learned valuable lessons about myself and how I was in control of my thoughts and therefore my life.
  1. Know that other people are going through the same as you: one day I had the thought, what if other people feel the same way? What if they even feel worse than me? And guess what? I started to notice what was happening around me, in other peoples’ lives. So, I made the choice to help them and empower them and that helped me a great deal, simply knowing I was helping another person.

I invite you put into practice these 3 simples tips and start feeling the benefits right away, growing in confidence isn’t “difficult”, it isn’t brain surgery; it requires belief and action.

Believe that you can be confident and take the actions required to be that confident person.

If you want to read more about confidence by all means go onto www.dragonrising.com and order a copy of my book Growing Confident, where I share my journey to become a confident man what I did.

Also, share your comments in the comments box when you start seeing the results in your life.

With all my love,




PS, if you’d like to find out about Confidence & Success Coaching feel free to download the free Infographic with all you need to know.

How to create from nothing?

How to create from nothing?


Intriguing title, don’t you think?

You might be wondering what I mean by creating from nothing, right?

Just imagine you are a builder, you have what at first appears to be an empty plot of land and you are assigned the task to build a house in that space of nothing.

The idea of starting with nothing and somehow ending up with something after some work could seem almost impossible for some, terrifying for others and some, well, wouldn’t even start!

Though, the reality is that you get many more choices when you start with nothing or from nothing.

When you have nothing, what that really means is you can have anything, you get to call the shots, you get to choose what is built.

You can build the house as big as your imagination allows you to, you can use whatever materials you want to use, you can be as creative as your heart desires.

Starting with nothing gives you a clean canvas in which you get to decide what goes on it, you choose the paints you want to use, you get to choose the brushes you want to use and you also get to choose how long it will take to complete the masterpiece.

If you are struggling to grasp that concept it is ok, I am going to give you an even easier to get analogy:

We start with nothing, as nothing!

Get it?

We are all born the same, naked, vulnerable and with nothing.

It is with time we get to create the life we desire, we choose what we do or don’t do with our lives. When we are adults or even before then, we choose our friends, partners, schools, jobs, etc.

What we get, always start from nothing, with nothing.

We start with nothing and we then choose to have something.

That something could be anything we wish; though, it is our circumstances and past experiences that steer us in the direction of the things we get in life.

So, in a nutshell, you get to choose what happens next in your life.

You are the artist who gets to paint the blank canvas, you are the author of your life who gets to write on the empty page.

You start with nothing and therefore have the potential to have EVERYTHING.

I hope you have enjoyed today’s post.

Till next time,




Aligning Your Thoughts With What You Want

Aligning your thoughts with what you want


I remember many years ago when I heard of The Secret for the very first time, I was extremely excited, I could not believe we had finally found that missing bit of information that would enables to have the lives we always wanted AND most importantly effortlessly…

The reality is, it was too simple!

It was just too easy and always hard to believe that we could have anything, just by the power of our thoughts and The Law of Attraction.

So, I guess this concept put some people off (I was more cynical than put off by it – if I am being honest), and some interest was lost.

Saying this, I want to share with you how I have learned to interpret the message in The Secret and The Law of Attraction.

When we want something in life, be it a car, or a new partner, or to get that promotion at work; regardless of what it is, it ALL start as a thought, a single thought.

This thought gives birth to an idea of what life can be life when (see how I am saying when not IF!), we get that car, or meet our new partner, or get that promotion; this idea when decorated with all the different possibilities and what it will do for us is what we call a Vision.

In very simple words:

A Vision is seeing things the way they can be, not the way they are.

So, we have a thought which then becomes a vision and then what?

This is when The Law of Attraction comes in… this is the moment when we align our thoughts with that vision, we write it down as a goal or well-formed outcome that will inspire us, we get creative and make ourselves a nice vision board of what our lives will look like when we get what we want, we visualise ourselves being there, doing those things and enjoying the rewards.

However, it isn’t that easy, we have to do a few things that will help us materialise this goal or vision, these are:

  1. Action: a goal without action is just a dream, and dreams do not come true if we don’t do a single thing to make them happen… So, get to work if you want that vision to become a reality.
  2. Have a why: a why is the reason we do what we do, is why we get up at ridiculous o’clock to do what it takes to make that vision a reality.
  3. Remind ourselves of our goal/vision: if you aren’t familiar with visualisation, affirmations, goal setting or vision boards, I would encourage you to find out more, these tools help to remind us of what it is we want and why we are doing it. So, why do we need reminding? This internal repetition of our goal/vision is what will help us find the how, which is the strategy that will get us there, the more we think about our goal, the more we will be working in ways to make it a reality. And,
  4. Empowering habits: there always is a reason why we haven’t that what we want… let me explain this, if we had a way to get that car, partner or job we wouldn’t even bother thinking about it. However, the main reason we don’t have those things is because we do not have the skills or strategies to get them, so developing empowering habits is fundamental to ensure we accomplish our goals.

The truth is, there is no secret to The Secret, if there was a secret it would be:

Do what you know you have to do to create the results you want.

Rome wasn’t built in one day, it took years, decades to become the empire it did.

Can you imagine it Rome was built in one day? Surely, they wouldn’t have become the empire they did if they hadn’t built the solid foundations to support and guard their people.

The same applies to our goals, they become a reality once we have built the foundations in which they can materialise.

I hope you have enjoyed today’s read.

With all my love,




Are you standing for the life of your dreams?

Are you standing for the life of your dreams?

Have you ever asked yourself the following question?

Am I being a stand for the life of my dreams?

Just think about this question and answer it to yourself.

However, what is a stand?

A stand (in my opinion) is a solid foundation where you can build and grow anything and I mean any dream and goal and come from it, nothing or no one will come between the person and their goals if the foundation is solid.

Are you standing (or being a stand) for the life of your dreams?

What does it take to be a stand?

You have heard me talk about declaring what you want, setting boundaries, keeping a journal, setting goals, eating healthily, reading, etc. etc., these are the actions someone who is a stand for their lives takes.

When you stand for your dreams you learn to say no to distractions, you do what some people would never even dream of doing, you keep in your mind 24/7 the life you want to create.

What happens when you don’t stand for what you want?

Truth be told nothing happens, you are just daydreaming and “hoping” you will have a magical “breakthrough” and that suddenly life will be “better”.

You do nothing, nothing happens, it is that simple.

I know many people who have dreamed of being a doctor and have made it happen because they were a stand for that dream, equally I have met people who wanted this and that and the other and quite frankly did nothing, they did not stand for their dreams and now they are either “stuck in a rut” or regretting what could’ve been.

Being a stand is much more than just saying what you want or what you are going to do but it is honouring your word and doing just that when no one is watching.

Getting up at ridiculous o’clock so you can read or cook your children’s meal, or plan your goals for the next month.

It is really easy to be applied and disciplined and a real stand; though, it is even easier to do nothing and accomplish nothing.

As ever the choice is yours, you either are a stand for the life of your dreams or you are not.

Till next time, with all my love,



Are you setting enough boundaries?

Are you setting enough boundaries?

Life is life! This is a fact!

What I mean by this is that life will happen, throw things at us and will distract us, whether we want it or not!

Though, what can we do?

Before I can tell what we can do, I will tell you what most people do, most people just give in! They give up and say goodbye to their future when the going gets tough…

Why does this happen?

I can give it to you in one word, boundaries… people have very few or no boundaries at all!

What is a boundary?

A boundary (in my opinion) is a protected area where we do not allow any person or thing to distract us and take us away from what we want or what we are doing.

When you have boundaries and you say to your spouse between 3 & 5 pm every Saturday is my reading time, you do what you want but at that moment in time I want to read a good book that will help me achieve my goals in life.

Doesn’t it seem simple?

It definitely is, however, most people just have no boundaries whatsoever!

I have a very simple system I learned from a fellow colleague and NLP Trainer, my boundaries system is a traffic light system, it goes as follows:

Red: Do not even think about it (you can knock on my door in emergencies),

Yellow: You may come in, just be polite and knock before you come in, and

Green: I am not busy come and go as you please!

My partner 100% understands this and I am delighted I was introduced to this system to become more efficient.

So, think about it, are you setting the right and enough boundaries to accomplish you goals or simply to have just you time?

Are you allowing yourself enough time and space to think with clarity?

We need our own “me” time in order to become more effective and efficient, we just forget to do it.

Do you have a boundaries system?

I would love to hear from you.

Till next time, with all my love,



Are you declaring your intentions?

Are you declaring your intentions?

Often I hear people talking about dreams and fantasising what they will do “someday” when they have more time, when they have more money, when the kids are at school or when they have better health…

Does it sound familiar?

To me, it totally does! Simply because I have been there. I have wished and dreamed and hoped, and in the end taken zero actions.

Are you declaring your intentions?

It wasn’t until I learned that in order to accomplish and achieve anything in live we must declare our intentions to the world, tell absolutely everyone we meet what our intentions for our future is.

There are two types of people in the world, those who declare their goals and dreams to the world and those who don’t.

Guess which ones are more successful?

You got it, the ones who tell the world what their intentions are.

See, this is what happens when we tell people what we will be doing in a month or six down the line, people are watching us and they remind us when they see us next… and the next time, and the next until it happens.

What happens when we tell no one of our intentions?


Absolutely nothing happens if we don’t tell anything to anyone. I will give you the writing of my book Growing Confident as an example, I told every single person I met that I was writing a book in self-help/personal-development and I gave them as much detail as possible and even publishing dates, etc., etc.… and it happened just like that, the very same way I described it to everyone.

Now, can you see the power of declaring what you want with the world.

I can give you another example, I am working on a second book in the field of personal development, I have been “working” on it for months, though I haven’t told anyone about it and guess what? I haven’t made much progress because I haven’t declared… Though I am declaring my second book will be published by the end of the year.

You want something to happen, you can 100% make it happen if you declare to the world and tell every single human being you come across.

I would love to hear about you and those occasions you have declared to the world your intentions and how you got on.

Till next time,



Whose advice should you listen to?

Whose advice should you listen to?


Would you take advice from your uncle who has been broke from as long as you remember? Or,

Would you take advice from Sir Richard Branson?

We go our day to day life listening to people near us, who are just like us and they have somehow resigned, this is it, this is my life and there is nothing I can do about it.

They mean well, though, their fears are controlling their every action and they are passing that onto whomever they meet or come across.

Can you see where we are heading here?

Who should I listen to?

You remember I wrote a blogpost recently about Being a student of what you want to achieve? One of the things I forgot to mention in that blog is that it is 100% valid and acceptable to find a mentor in that area we want to succeed at.

I will give you my personal example, when I decided to change careers people said I was mad, that I was going into an industry I knew nothing about, I was told there was no market for it, that people didn’t invest in themselves, etc., etc.

BTW, before I forget those naysayers are called “dream stealers”!

Now, going back to what I was saying, I decided to ignore those people whose lives were in similar or worse position that mine at the time; I just said, thank you for your concern but I will make my dream come true.

I got busy reading, studying and meeting people who could help me achieve my goal. I chose to ignore those who were close to me because they were in no position whatsoever to advice.

Who are you listening to when making decisions?

Who is shaping the way your future looks?

Who is in control of your actions?

Because let’s face it, many people say they are independent and the truth is that there is a whole entourage of people dictating how they should or shouldn’t live their lives.

Take advice and listen to those who can enrich your life, add value to what you working towards and believe you me, your future will be the one you want.

Just get to work, embrace those opportunities (which we can me too!) and take full control of your life.

Till next time,



How “lucky” are you?

How “lucky” are you?


Today I want to get rid of the myth “luck”.

How many times we hear people saying that such and such are lucky, or beginner’s luck; or people saying YOU are just lucky!


I am not even going to bother looking the definition of luck because it simply doesn’t interest me AND also it takes any power away from you.

You don’t like being powerless, do you?

What is it then?

I believe with every cell in my body what takes you the success you achieve in life is OPPORTUNITIES!

How many times you’ve heard that some people were at the right place, with the right people at the right time?

What we don’t hear is that not everyone takes action under those circumstances.

All of these factors, time, people and location are just opportunities… the beauty of opportunities is that we either take them and embrace or we don’t!

That’s it!

It really is that simple, there isn’t such thing as luck.

What we have at every single second of the day is opportunities that we either take or we don’t.

In any career there are various elements that can take you to the success you desire, location, education, time, people, money, etc., however, what truly makes the difference is you, and how you respond to what is being presented or available to you.

With this in mind that’s why personal development and having a coach to work with are key and extremely important because they enable us to see our blind spots and help us see an opportunity when we are presented with one.

So, what I want you to take away from today’s post is that there is no such thing as luck, only opportunities that we either take or we don’t…

Also being “lucky” is a very passive way of going about in life and embracing opportunities is empowering and gives you the control over your life.

How cool is that?

With all my love,



PS, if you have an area of your life where you are lacking confidence and want to achieve incredible success get in touch and take my 30-mins Free Consultation.

What do you think I should do with my life?

What do you think I should do with my life?

What do you think I should do with my life?

How often have you found yourself in that situation, asking someone what should you do with your life?

Be honest!

I have and many times…

I often hear people asking me or others:

What should I do on my free time?

Where should I go on holidays?

What should I eat?

What should I wear?

What should I drink?

What movie do you recommend?

Do you get the picture?

Are you constantly looking for someone else’s opinion and approval?

One of the reasons most of us, and I include myself, seek for a third party validation or approval is because we are afraid that we may make the wrong the decisions.

What if I told you that there aren’t any right or wrong decisions or experiences for that matter!

Everything we do, every action, every task, every decision brings with it a learning lesson.

When we are growing and evolving, learning from what we do is crucial to be able to embrace challenges and achieve our goals.

It doesn’t matter what you do or you don’t do even, you are always learning.

Let me explain this further.

Let’s say you start a new business venture, you are a novice at businesses and quite frankly you know very little about what is required and what do.

You will make mistakes, you will soon learn that you ideally should have some skills relevant to what you want to do, that you will need to outsource some people to compliment you with skills you don’t have, you might even need to re-educate yourself about your industry.

Once you dive in and embrace the experience you start to learn what works and what doesn’t work, either way you are learning.

Or, you might start doing some learning before you start, again, you are learning, you will read what works and what doesn’t work, what to do and what to avoid.

Also, if you do nothing with your life, talk about doing things and never do anything, you will learn or realise that you didn’t utilise your time efficiently.

You see? You are always learning…

Do you need someone’s approval or permission?


You do not need anyone to tell you what to do or not do!

You are powerful enough to make your own decisions and whatever the outcome own to it and learn from them.

At this point I would like to clarify, when you are employed or in any environment where there is a figure of authority there is an agreement that you will follow some guidelines! I just wanted to clarify that!

What I mean is in your life you call the shots, it is your life, no one else’s.

You want to know where the best holiday destination is? Go and explore as many as you possibly can, then you will learn where is the best place to do.

You want to know who is the best author? Read as much as you can and decide for yourself.

You see? It is up to you to choose what is and what isn’t worth learning.

You are strong and powerful, don’t forget it.

Give yourself permission.

Till next time, with all my love,



How do you find your own potential?

How do you find your own potential?


Tough one, huh?

Have you ever asked yourself this question: How do I find my own potential? Or, How can I tap into my hidden potential?

Before I help you figure out how this is possible let me share my story with you…

About me

I come from Panama City, from the suburbs, from a pretty poor and rural area, all I knew was scarcity, poverty, negativity, prejudice and a host of not so nice things.

I would be lying if I said these didn’t affect me, they totally did.

My parents had to count the pennies to put food on the table, they had to leave early, come back late and then there was far too much month at the end of the paycheck.

There were two children, bills, travel expenses and all the other things that life throws at you; work, very little time with the children and almost no hope.

We would hear gun shots, we’d be told some had been robbed, stabbed, someone’s house had been broken into or worse someone had been shot.

That was all I knew…

Even with all of these things, I was fortunate I had parents who did their best to provide for us, sent me and my brother to school to one day have a better life, we were hope for them, and by that I mean, we were the evidence that even poor people if they worked hard at it they could achieve great things.

Sadly, I grew believing that only “rich” people could do and achieve things in life, any hope I ever had would be crushed almost immediately by the things I saw and would hear about.

Life was a challenge for me because I was in a very “macho” community, surrounded by catholic people and I was battling with my sexuality and my feelings towards the same sex.

I had hope, then I had nothing; I would find it again to then have it taken away by the fear and belief that I wasn’t good enough because I was gay.

I had all of that for the first 16 years of my life. Then, I tried to commit suicide, thankfully I was given a second chance to live my life!

Everything changed the moment I opened my eyes, I felt there had been a shift and I was ready to find a way and the means to create the life I knew I deserved.

How can you find your own potential?


The only way you can find your true potential is by waking up to the fact that you are capable of achieving whatever you set your mind to.

I will repeat it:

You are capable of achieving WHATEVER you set your mind to.

Whatever? I can hear you say…

Absolutely yes!!!

Let me explain this further, the only thing that stops us (see how I include myself) from accomplishing a thing or things in this life is ourselves, our mindset, our attitude, our philosophy and lack of positivity…

In my former years (life even), I had a negative attitude, I was putting myself down because of my sexual preferences, because of my background and because of what was happening around me…

I was approaching life negatively.

When I changed my mindset, the way I saw myself and my life, everything changed, yes EVERYTHING!

9 months after attempting to commit suicide I met the person who loved me more than I loved myself prior to meeting him. 2 years after meeting him I moved to England, and now my life is beyond recognition.

That 16 years old who didn’t want to be alive once would be blown by the fact that he became the successful man he is today.

If I was able to turn my life around, so can you…

This is the truth as to how you find your true potential, by waking up, snapping out of the pity party you have been in and change and shift your mindset to that of I can, I am worth it, I will do it, I am doing it and I am making it happen.

Wake up, change your mindset and outlook in life, get to work and do what you said you’d do and voila! There you have it, your potential.

That potential that hadn’t been tapped into will be reached once you believe you have it in you.

Let me tell you, you have it in you, just reach deep inside you and bring it out.

I didn’t know I had it in me till I sank to the bottom, hit rock bottom and had to go through hell.

I am telling you, you got it, just bring it out, bring it forth and start creating the life you know you deserve.

One of my hero’s Jim Rohn says:

A life worth living is a life by design!

You are the creator of your life, you get to call the shots, no one else!!!

Go out there and get to work, design your life and honour your potential.

Till next time, with all my love.

From my heart to yours,



Be a student of what you want to achieve

Be a student of what you want to achieve


What do you want to achieve?

What do you want more of?

Before I started my journey in the personal development I used to walk in life “aimlessly”, wanting this and wanting that and not getting it!

I used to ask myself this question:

What am I not doing?

Where am I going wrong?

I am so happy I chose the career path I chose because I learned where I was going “wrong”.

Are you ready for it?

I wasn’t studying what I wanted to achieve or become.

Let me give you an example of what I mean: I wanted to be singer and cinema star (and this is real BTW!), yet I never ever had formal singing or acting studies.

So, how could I be an international singer or a Hollywood actor without any formal studies?

If I don’t know how to use my vocal cords accordingly and how to read music would I be able to achieve that dream?

I wasn’t hanging out with any musicians or singers and learning from them.

Am I building the picture for you?

What will becoming a student of my chosen career/goal enable me to do?

There are many reasons why we all should become students of our chosen career/goals, here are some of the most important reasons:

  1. You will learn what work for those before you, everything in life is a recipe, a system we follow and it is that simple, when we read other people’s stories and successes we know what they did to get where they are. Success leaves clues!!!
  2. You will learn what didn’t work for them, don’t do it!!!
  3. You will develop a similar mindset to achieve your goal, you will learn to think the way they did to achieve their goal.
  4. You develop a belief in yourself and your goal, having a belief in what you are doing is so important to make it happen.
  5. You will save time, money and energy!!!

The list isn’t exhaustive, there some other benefits to reading/studying what you want to achieve.

In my particular experience I have learned to study success, authors in personal development and successful coaches who have been in the industry before me and are still going.

It is very likely they have learned what to do and what to avoid, so that experience is very valuable for me, they have developed a system and that is of interest to me.

Remember success leaves clues, we can only access these clues when we become students of that which we want to do or become.

We are blessed that there are countless resources available to us to help us achieve what want to accomplish…

In the end, how much do you to achieve that goal? For real? How bad do you want it?

When we REALLY want something we find the time, money and energy AND the resources to learn from…

I hope you have enjoyed today’s post, please comment in the comments box how you have benefited from becoming a student of your chosen career or if there has been a goal you were working towards and you studied it to get similar results.

Or, the opposite how not studying your career has affected you?

Till next time, with all my love,



Is what it is it?

Is what it is it?

What you ever asked yourself the question:

Is this it?

So, when you ask that question are you:

  1. Empowering yourserlf? Or,
  2. Resigning, accepting defeat?

The reason I raise this question is because I often hear peopl saying: It is what it is…


Is what it is it?

Don’t you think you deserve more in life?

Do you not think that it may not be it?

What about asking yourself a different question, like:

How can I turn this around?

How can I improve this situation?

How can I solve this problem?

What lessons can I learn from this?

Do you see the difference?

By asking yourself a How question you are more likely to come up with a solution and finally ditch the It is what it is!!!

I hope you have enjoyed today’s read.

Remember it isnt the what it is, you can always turn it around.

Till next time,


Once Upon A Time…

Once Upon A Time…

Once Upon A Time....jpg

Once upon a time there as child who dreamed of crazy futures and who thought anything was possible…

That child had the rare gift of imagination!

In his/her dreams this child could come up with the solutions to this world’s problems.

Absolutely nothing seemed absurd… Trees would become skyscrapers, old metal would be a means of transport, toys and rubbish would be transformed into objects of fascination and inspiration.

Every day and night this child would dream of new possibilities and his/her options were endless. Truly, there were no limits.

One day this child would be doctor, then the next a farmer, and the next a police person, each and every day was a new beginning…

Nothing or no one would stop this child.


People around the child told him/her he/she had to grow up that these ideas were pointless and they were just silly games.

These comments were repeated time and time again; the child’s feelings were hurt in a semi regular basis.

This beautiful creative child started to doubt his/her skills, what once seemed a possibility was now pure absurdity.

What this child once considered a dream and a solution was but a puerile stupidity.

The child then became a teenager, his/her interests were different, they were shaped by the people around him/her… Or what was expected from him/her!

“Life” got in the way and… this now teenager thought that life, the world and everyone was against him/her.

Struggles followed… doubt had been planted, towards the end of his/her “innocence” those happy yesteryears were but a “blurred” memory.

Adulthood “forced” its way in and… “adult things” had to be done… Go to Uni, get the best marks, get a job, marry, get a mortgage, have a family, work for a lifetime and retire for a fraction of your worth…

This story wasn’t his/her reality, he/she just bought into it and it became his/her reality.

Can the clock be turned back?

Can this child come out of its captivity?

Can he/she dream again?

Can he/she wake up from that long and deep sleep?

Who knows…

Though, what I know is…

That child, that boy, that girl… was you one day, with dreams and hopes which were taken away accidentally (maybe even intentionally) and that child forgot all about it.

Thought, let me tell you, it isn’t too late…

You can still reclaim your dreams and hopes…

It isn’t too late, you just need to wake up, take back what is rightfully yours and fulfil your prophecy…

Your time hasn’t passed, your time starts now…

The End!

Till next time,



There are two types of people in the world

There are two types of people in the world

There are two types of people in the world

I am a great believer that messages shouldn’t be long, in fact they should be short, concise, to the point and thought provoking…

Do you agree?

I will let think about that one for a while.

As the title says there are two types of people in the world, some people may disagree and that is ok, this is perhaps for those who agree with the message I am going to share.

The two types of people are:

  1. Action takers: these people are on fire, they are on it, they have an idea or goal and they act on it. There is no stopping them, they see their goals through to the end. And,
  1. Talkers: these are people who always talk about what will be, what could happen, what they’d do if things were different, etc.

So, my question to you is, in which category do you fall into?

Are you an action taker and constantly spending your time on the court, playing full out and getting dirty, getting uncomfortable and going for your dreams? Or,

Are you a talker? Just talking about things in general and never really doing a thing, talking how there are “chosen” and “lucky” ones and that one day you will have a breakthrough? Just seating in the stands watching other play?

I would love to hear your thoughts and experiences.

Are there any areas of your life where you aren’t acting but talking?

Please share in the comments box.

Till next time,



3 Signs That You Don’t Love And Accept Yourself

3 Signs That You Don’t Love And Accept Yourself


As a confidence and success coach it isn’t uncommon for me to hear that people don’t love and accept themselves.

Though, do you know what the main signs that you don’t love and accept yourself are?

Before I tell what these signs are, I would like to share a short story with you.

I am an EFT Master Practitioner, what we do is we tap on specific meridian points where energy is blocked and by tapping we release this energy and the energy is ready to flow, allowing any energetic and emotional blockages to be released too.

However, in traditional EFT when we start a tapping round we do a setup, which normally goes like this:

“Even though, I hate working 9-5 and life is challenging, I completely love and accept myself”.

Seems simple right?

I wish I could put a number to it, though, the vast majority of people struggle with saying I completely love and accept myself!

Going back to blog post.

I decided to investigate more on why people don’t love and accept themselves and what I discovered was that people don’t love and accept themselves because of 3 things mainly shame, guilty and unworthiness.

These are the 3 signs that you don’t love and accept yourself:

1. Rejecting compliments: people who don’t love and accept themselves tend to reject, avoid and deflect compliments because they either feel guilt for receiving it or they just feel unworthy.

2. Talking about everyone but yourself: people who don’t love and accept themselves would avoid talking about themselves at any cost, they will always talk about their family, friends and pets before they talk about themselves because they either feel shame of their lives or they would feel guilty about talking about themselves or putting themselves first. And,

3. Underperformance/underachievement: people who don’t love and accept themselves will be doing “low” paid jobs or jobs that don’t require too many skills because they feel unworthy or any higher paid job, they feel shame of who they are or their skills and guilt that someone better might lose their jobs because of them.

How can people learn to love and accept themselves?

The first and most important step to take to learn to love and accept oneself is to stop judging and criticising themselves.

For those who haven’t loved and accepted themselves for a long time this might sound too simple and even unattainable.

Because of this I have created a 12-week webinar series entitled Learning Love where I share what I did to learn to love and accept myself.

I invite you to take a look and take part on this life changing webinar which will take you from not loving and accepting yourself to fully loving and accepting yourself and who you are.

For more information, visit: http://www.jorgevence.com/webinar-series/learning-love/.

I look forward to hearing from you real soon.

Till next time,



The 3 steps that guarantee success, no matter what

The 3 steps that guarantee success, no matter what


*** WARING ***

Short post!


I get asked all the time what is the key or secret to success?

My response is always the same, no matter what the goal!

Here are the 3 steps that guarantee success, no matter what!

  1. Start: don’t just talk about what you want, get stuck in! get your hands dirty and go for it.
  1. Adjust: life happens, that is a fact! Rather than quitting, adjust your plans, sometimes it will take longer than we expected, other times we run out funds or we just discover that we need some help. Who cares? Just adjust your plans accordingly and carry on!
  1. Never quit: the only reason people “fail” is because they quit, they give up before they can hit the jackpot.

It really is that simple, if you want something bad enough, you will start, you adjust it as and when needed and you don’t quit!

Please share this post, more people need to know that success is really simple, just 3 simple steps to follow and voila.

Till next time,



How having a library can help you succeed

How having a library can help you succeed


We have all heard that knowledge is power.

There is some truth behind it; though, it would be more apt to say that applied knowledge is power.

From a very early age I’ve found reading and learning fascinating, learning ideas and concepts that could help us improve our lives; and finding out what others did or didn’t do to help us achieve what we do.

As I have mentioned before I am a huge fan of Jim Rohn’s philosophy and teachings; in one of his many talks he once said that we should be always aiming to be talked and written about, and that there are two types of people, those who are used as good examples to follow and the others, mistakes to avoid.

How can we learn this?

By reading, or other means like audios or videos.

How having a library can help you succeed?

Books hold stories and those stories have been passed to us to help us succeed.

If you are aspiring to become a scientist you will expected to read books on biology, chemistry, physics, mathematics, etc.

However, every author has his/her own biases and they will explain a subject through their filters, how they see the world.

One of the many things I learned when I was at high school is that when doing a research or leaning in general it is a good practice to read more than one author in the subject you are interested about.


As I mentioned everyone has their personal view about different topics, at the same time you may agree or not.

By reading various authors you learn to develop your own ideas and approaches to the subject, you learn what works best for you and what doesn’t.

A library of your own allows you to create a wealth of knowledge tailored to your personal preferences and you can read and refer back to them as often as you wish.

Also, when you are committed to your growth as a person or business person the more you learn, the more you are able to contribute to the lives of those around you, you will continue to have current ideas and you will move with the times.

What books should I have in my library?

How long is a piece of string?

Depending on your preferences that’s how your swill look like.

One point I would like to highlight here is that as you change/evolve the books you introduce in your library change too.

I will give you mine as an example, when I was growing up I was fascinated by literature so I collected many books on literature, poetry, grammar, countless dictionaries.

Then, I became a chef, so I collected many books on cooking, especially baking.

After that I went into management so many books about leadership and management followed, plus some of my own written projects too.

At the same I was embracing my spirituality so I added many more books on the subject… I have been collecting minerals for almost two decades, so I educated myself on that and got more books too.

Nowadays, I am in personal development so those are the ones I add to my library these days.

Throughout the years I have enriched my life and library in various areas, and whenever I want to read about something interesting from the past, I know where to find it and enrich my knowledge from it.

Is it expensive to have a library?

Absolutely not, I have spent years building it and growing it.

It takes times. All you need is to buy a book, read and add many more till you build a sizeable library.

How does it help me become successful or succeed?

The more you read, the more ideas you can come up, you will have sources of information available to you whether you have Wi-Fi or 3G, they don’t need batteries or electricity.

When you read you expand your mind, when you expand your mind you expand your possibilities and finally you work towards what you want in your life.

Do you have a library?

I would love to hear what books do you keep in your library?

Till next time,



Painting Your Future

Painting Your Future


Creating one’s future, painting one’s vision are things I am very passionate about.

Why is that?

When I was growing up I had no vision, I thought I was destined to continue the vicious circle my family had been operating from for generations.

At the same time my parents wanted me to do what they wanted, my wishes and desires didn’t seem to matter to them.

I used to think that you had to be of a certain way to be successful, that was what the media was telling me.

Painting Your Future

Today, it is a different story.

Now, I know that the world is our oyster and that we get to decide the life we want, we do this either consciously or unconsciously.

Either way, we are the ones creating that reality.

I know it may sound too easy or too harsh, it is just the reality of it.

We are in charge of our lives, we just don’t know, we get to decide which actions we take or we don’t…

We always choose.

At the age of 16 I thought my life was defined by everyone around me; though, it took some help, some work and most importantly believe in myself, my skills and my future.

Once I understood that my life dramatically changed.

At the age of 16 I wished I wasn’t on this planet, by the end of the year 2000, when I was just over 17 I was ready to die fighting for my life.

I was in love and I believed in my future.

2 years from that at the age of 19 I moved countries and I started a new life…

That was just under 3 years of me wanting to be gone for ever and good.

If my life had ended at the age of 16, I would have missed out on what I wanted to have in my life soooo bad…

I learned the hard way that the lack of believe in myself and my future was what was holding me back…

What did I do?

I started to dream again…

I started to believe in myself…

I started to believe the world was my oyster…

I learned that my life was mine, I was in control…

I learned that anything is possible if I want it bad enough…

I learned to paint my life and my future the way I wanted to be…

I learned to work for and towards my dreams…

I realised that I was the architect, builder and project manager of my life…

I learned to trust and believe in my options and possibilities.

To paint your future all you have to do is to start dreaming again, with all your might and be as creative as you want.

Just, don’t forget the most important piece of the puzzle, ACTION!

Paint your future in your mind, on paper, in a vision board but just not dream about it, act on it.

Till next time,



A Year Older… So What?

A Year Older… So What?


So, my birthday has been and gone and it was a lovely and pleasant day, that’s it!

Now what?

I am a year older and nothing has changed… I am the same person I was 3 days ago before my birthday, and life remains the same.

A year older… so what?

Nothing changes, I am facing life the same way I was a week ago.

I remember a time when I was in my late teens and early 20’s when I used to say: I will be happier when X, Y, Z happens…

My life will find its purpose when I do X, Y, Z…

I will be a better person when I become X, Y, Z…

This and that and the other will be possible when X, Y, Z happen; then, only then I will be, do and have what I deserve.

Guess what?

It never happened…

Life continued its course, the clock remained ticking, the world around me went by just like nothing…

Then what?

I learned…

I learned that what I want for tomorrow I start working for today! Not tomorrow when it may be too late!

I learned that age does NOT matter, what matters is how we approach life.

I could be 73 and still expect life to happen to me, rather than to take action and make it happen for me.

I could be 15 and totally get that my future relies in the action I take in the now, so when I am 25 I am the person I wanted to be, I do what I wanted to do and I have what I wanted to have, but as a reward for my hard work.

I have learned that X, Y and Z are in our control, we call the shots, we decide what the building blocks in our lives are, we are the architects and builders of our present, and future, only us.

I have learned that the past is irrelevant to the now, all that matters is the now.

What is the now?

The now is timeless…

The now is ageless…

The now is full of possibilities, and all for grabs…

The now is ours and we decide what we do with it… or not!

Some people call the now the present, it is a present, it is our gift, why not act on it?

The now is the starting point to create the life we want, only we decide whether we claim that birthright or not.

I was minding my own business and replying to an email as I was listening to Jim Rohn and in this audio he said the following quote:

“The life best lived is the life by design!”

This is exactly what I have learned that age doesn’t matter, what matters is our attitude, or as Jim calls it our philosophy, and that the life best lived is that we choose for ourselves…

We get to become whomever we want to be… which then leads to us doing what we want to do (in our own terms) and have whatever we desire in this life (I like to call it our rewards for our hard work).

I hope you have enjoyed today’s post.

I would love to hear your comments.

Till next time,



PS, I could not resist to use my pictures of then and now as today’s post’s image.


The Source Of Happiness

The Source Of Happiness

The Source Of Happiness

One day in my late teens, as I was healing from my past and transitioning from teenage into adulthood, I had questions I wanted to ask, though I was too scared to ask anyone.

I was scared because I didn’t want anyone to laugh at me and also I thought I was “isolated” and maybe I was the “only one” with such “silly” questions.

The questions I wanted to ask people were:

What is it like being an adult?

Does like get any easier?

Do your dreams come true as you get older?

What do you do to keep going?

What is the source of happiness?

Though, I never asked them…

Then, one day, I got over myself and I filled myself with as much courage as I could and I headed to my computer…

Who would have thought that the Internet would have the answers to the questions I had.

So, I keyed in the following question:

What is the source of happiness?

To my amazement there were thousands, if not millions of websites with the answer to this question.

Wow, I thought, I am not alone, others have the same question too!

I read so many interpretations, from so many people and so many advices, etc., etc.

Needless to say I ended up feeling even more confused at the end of my search.

Although, I must admit I felt slightly better because I knew I wasn’t alone, I discovered other people had similar “issues” and questions to mine.

What is the source of happiness anyway?

I didn’t find the answer to that question per se, what I did find out was that we all feel there is something missing.

We all think that when we get the six-pack life will be better, we think that when we get the ideal partner life will be nicer, that when we get the job life will improve dramatically…

We think, think, think…

The truth is no outside resource will change anything in our lives if we don’t change our inner game, the way we see ourselves, the way we see others and the way we see life.

The source of happiness is within us, deep down, where so many people are “afraid” of looking in…

Why are people scared of looking in?

Because they do not or cannot love and accept themselves…

Crazy, isn’t it?

People, us in general feel unworthy of our own love; though, we “think” we are worthy of other people’s love.

If you don’t love and accept yourself, you cannot acknowledge or welcome someone else’s love, because you don’t know what it is like or what it feels like.

If you don’t love and accept yourself, you will never be happy…

I learned that to be happy, to find the source of happiness you/we must nurture what is right in front of us, ourselves!

We love and accept ourselves and we realise that we are happiness, that when we are present in our lives, we will notice that we have always had everything it took to be happy; though, we were too “busy” looking elsewhere, neglecting and ignoring the most obvious of places, inside of us.

Happiness has never left us, it’s always been there, and guess what? It is still there, you just need to reach in, look in and you will find it.

There isn’t any “magic pill” or secret to find the real source of happiness, all it takes is patience, love and acceptance, then everything will fall into place.

I promise, everything will fall into place when you heal your relationship with yourself.

Still struggling?

Why not take my 30-mins free consultation and let’s discuss your options to heal your relationship with yourself, create new possibilities for yourself and your life.

Till next time,


My Top 10 Quotes Of All Times

My Top 10 Quotes Of All Times

My Top 10 Quotes Of All Times (1)

I find sometimes all we need is a tiny reminder, for someone to tell us we are in the right path, for someone to encourage us, for someone to tell us they have gone through what we are going through.

Though, often when we feel “down”, we prefer to stay alone and watch the world go by; it is moments like this when I like to read the following quotes.

These quotes have helped me and lifted my spirits up many times because they represent the experience and life of many men and women who stood before me and fought hard for their dreams, so I too could believe in mine and make them come true.

Let me know which one of these quotes resonates with you the most, or a quote you refer back to when you feel “down”.

Till next time.


PS This beautiful picture was taken by me in the Spring of 2011, I was by a small pond taking pictures of the birds in the water and I saw these two pigeons being amorous with each other.

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The Napoleon Hill’s Quotes That Revolutionised My Life

The Napoleon Hill’s Quotes That
Revolutionised My Life

The Napoleon Hill's Quotes That Revolutionised My Life (13)

We all have a favourite author or person we resonate with and their words tend to have an impact in our lives.

After reading Napoleon Hill’s Think and Grow Rich, I became obsessed with him and his philosophy and I got hold of whatever I could on Napoleon Hill.

These are the 12 Napoleon Hill’s quotes that revolutionised my life and my world

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I am glad this man came up with such wisdom because I feel he summed it up succinctly and eloquently, that his words have withstood the ages.

Comment in the comments section and let me know which one of these 12 quotes is your favourite, or if it isn’t on here share with me.

Till next time,



PS Share these quotes with your family and friends so they too are touched, moved and isnpired by Napoleon Hill’s wisdom.

How SMART Are Your Goals? – Download

How SMART Are Your Goals? – Download


We have all heard of SMART goals, do they really work?

Of course!

Setting goals is what enables people to achieve more in life, whether it is a personal goal or a fitness goal, it doesn’t matter.

When you have a vision and a detailed plan of action, anything seems possible; whether it is making a fortune or having the holiday of a lifetime.

Having goals is what makes you to go out there and do whatever it has to be done to accomplish them.


What are SMART Goals?

Let’s assume you don’t know anything about SMART goals

SMART in SMART goals stand for:

S – specific

What do you want? In detail! Do not spare any detail, be as specific as you possibly can.

M – Measurable

How do you know you have achieved it, what is the evidence? Ideally make it sensory based, use all of your senses in the evidence.

A – Achievable

Can it be done? Has it been done before? Do you know anyone who’s done it?

R – Realistic

Can you do it? Do you have the skills it takes to do it?

T – Time-framed

How long will it take you to do it? Can you break the goal down into smaller parts? Break it down into smaller mini goals if the goal is too “big” and set a deadline for each mini goal.

Why do people fail even when they set goals?

The reason why goal setting doesn’t work for some, if not most, people is that they do not set SMART enough goals and they are also ill-formed (baldy made goals).

People fail because their goals aren’t specific enough, they don’t know what they want, they can’t see it in their minds.

People set unrealistic goals, in the hope that they may “magically” accomplish them, not having a clue how they will do it nor what it takes to do it.

Lastly, people do not set a deadline; again, they hope for the best and praying that it just happens.

When we don’t sell SMART goals, it is like going for a drive without a map or a route, driving aimlessly without a final destination in mind and getting frustrated along the way because we don’t know when we will get there.

Side effects of not setting SMART goals

  • Waste of precious time,
  • Waste of precious resources,
  • Waste of energy

Do you want to become a goal accomplishing machine?

Start setting SMART goals, writing them down and seeing them through to the end.

It helps speaking to people about them and also having an accountability buddy to remind you of what is important to you.


Also download the SMART Goal Sheet to start setting new goals.

Why not share this post on social media so your loved ones become goal accomplishing machines too!

Click here to download your SMART Goals Sheet

Thank you for reading.

Till next time,



9 Things I Learned From Using Affirmations On A Daily Basis

9 Things I Learned From Using Affirmations On A Daily Basis

9 Things I Learned From Using Affirmations On A Daily Basis

You might or you might not be familiar with affirmations; either way, it is ok as I will share with you what affirmations are and 9 things I have learned from using affirmations on a daily basis.

An affirmation in simple terms is:

A positive message we tell ourselves to empower ourselves.

How do you create an affirmation?

There isn’t a right or wrong way to say an affirmation*; though there are some guidelines:

  1. It should be stated in the present,
  2. It should be positive, and
  3. It should be meaningful to us.

*If you are familiar with Goal Setting, you will notice that there are some similarities; affirmations are very powerful when paired with our goals.

These are the 9 things I have learned from using affirmations on a daily basis:

  1. It has allowed me to understand that I can create endless and infinite possibilities in my life.
  2. I have learned that by saying my affirmations daily and out loud I am able to picture myself achieving my goals.
  3. I have learned that my language has a powerful impact on how I see my reality.
  4. Saying affirmations in front of the mirror first thing in the morning, or before an event helps to relax me and to focus.
  5. Affirmations have helped me reprogramme some of my limiting beliefs around my goals.
  6. I have learned that having a daily ritual helps to keep me in the right track.
  7. I have learned that I am in control of my outcomes.
  8. I have learned that I can share with others my deepest desires and wishes, and make them part of it.
  9. I have learned that saying an affirmation out load I am declaring that I am committed to create the life I want.

Each and every day brings new opportunities and it is up to us whether we embrace them or not.

I have found that having tools that empower us is a great way to head towards those opportunities with open arms and give them our best.

Have you used affirmations before?

Care to share what you have learned from using them?

I would love to hear from you, feel free to comment at the end this post.

Till next time,



Forgiveness – The Missing Link In Success?

Forgiveness – The Missing Link In Success?

Forgiveness – The Missing Link In Success-

You might be wondering what has forgiveness got to do with Success?

I used to ask myself the same question a few years back, to then realise that success was just our emotions properly and powerfully focused and channelled.

What happens when we hold a grudge?

To answer this question, I would like you to imagine a car’s windscreen and rear-view mirror, covered by a thick layer of dust, grime and rust.

As the driver you want to go from A (where you are) to B (where you want to be), do you think that you will be able to move rapidly and at a speed that will get you to where you want to be on time?

The answer is pretty obvious, isn’t it?

Of course not, you will have to wash the car, you will have to remove the thick layer of dust, grime and rust, so your vision isn’t clouded or distorted.

Holding a grudge against someone is exactly the same thing, the “negative” emotions you hold towards someone or something mightn’t let you go at the speed or velocity you want to in order to achieve your goal.

Please note how I haven’t mentioned the engine, which in our case is our mind, we have the intention to accomplish something, though the dust and grime (our emotions) tend to get in the way and sometimes even hold us back.

How can we release these negative emotions and move forward?

In my experience and that of clients too, when we forgive someone these “negative” emotions are released and we are capable of moving forward, there isn’t anything weighing us down and we don’t feel guilty for working towards our goals, or we don’t let our ill-emotions drag us down.

Our actions and thinking comes from a place of love and hope and we attract positive outcomes and people our way.

Three ways to release our negative emotions and achieve our goals:

These three methods I am going to describe next, I would like you to imagine as metaphoric carwashes, whereby we remove the thick layer of dust, grime and rust that is preventing our “car” moving in the right direction.

  1. Speak to the person or people you hold a grudge against: being “vulnerable” and honest isn’t a bad thing, it takes courage and bravery, and when you say to someone: we had our differences in the past and so far I don’t think we have “completed” this situation, please forgive me or let me explain why I did what I did.

By doing this you are taking a huge weight off your shoulders and any “negative”                   emotion will disappear over time, enabling you to move on.

  1. Write a letter to someone, whether alive or not: often speaking to someone from our past can be challenging, so writing a letter can be the best way to go about it.

If the person isn’t with us any longer, you can burn and close that chapter of your                   life.

However, if the person is still alive, sending the letter would be the best way to go                   about it; if you feel you can’t you can burn it too or keep it till you feel ready to send               it; though, the important thing here is to “rid of” any ill-emotion.

  1. Seek professional help: often when we work on ourselves by ourselves we ignore out “blindspots”, so, having a professional work with us and shine the light in areas where we didn’t know we needed “help” is the difference that makes the difference.

It isn’t uncommon for us to be “delusional” about the way we feel and our actions,                what a professional does is tell us the things we normally don’t like to hear, so we                  have a real breakthrough and achieve our goals.

When we finally let go of old “grudges” and negativity, then we can start to work on a clean canvass and start to create new possibilities for ourselves.

If we don’t, then it doesn’t matter what we do or how much we achieve, we will always feel the same way, and nothing will change that, until we do something about it.

If you’d like to find out what some of your “blindposts” are, why not take my 30-mins FREE consultation.

I hope you have enjoyed today’s post.

Till next time, with lots of love,



Power v Fear

Power v Fear


What is driving your behaviours and responses?

Is it power?

Are you being empowered to take action?


Is it fear?

Are you being disempowered and held back?

Going back to what I have mentioned a few times in the last blog posts and that is the “stories” we tell ourselves.

Are you telling yourself negative and poisonous stories about yourself, the world and your abilities?

Are you feeding that “inner gremlin” that “rules” over your life and actions, or lack thereof?

Or, perhaps,

Are you telling yourself positive and empowering stories about who you are, the world you live in and your abilities?

Are you silencing that “inner voice” and “create” a new possibility, a new story that empowers you and your actions?

In the end, the choice is yours.

Do you choose power over fear?

Do you choose fear over power?

Either way, you are in control.

Till next time.

With all my love,



PS, don’t forget to like, comment and share.

Are You Ready To Declare And Claim Your Success?

Are You Ready To Declare And Claim Your Success?


What is holding you back?

Are you achieving the results you want out of your life?

There are many myths around success, and the one I like to clarify the most is:

Anyone can achieve success.

Anyone! I mean anyone.

When I was growing up I felt, or at least I thought, that because I wasn’t “straight”, or because I wasn’t “attractive”, or because I wasn’t “white” that I didn’t deserve success.

That was the story I repeatedly told myself and guess what? It became my reality.

I know, it is easier to speak about it now; however, when I look back I was looking at my life through a clouded filter that distorted my reality and the way I saw the world; therefore my results and my success.

Nowadays, I am able to see things more objectively and at the same time I like to inspire others to “go for it”, that the stories we tell ourselves can be transformed and made to work on our favour rather than against us, to empower us and get the results we want.

All it takes is to declare that we want to achieve success in any area of our life and claim it back, “go for it” and make your dreams come true.

It is as simple as 1, 2, 3.

  1. Make the decision to want to improve your current situation,

  2. Declare what you want and commit to it, and

  3. Do not give up until you get what you want in your life.

I feel honoured that I help people break away from “old” and “disempowering” habits, beliefs and paradigms because we all deserve greatness and the best in life.

All we have to do is to awaken to the fact that we can have anything as long as we put in the time, energy and effort it takes to accomplish our goals.

Do you want to achieve your and live the life you know you deserve?

Get in touch and take my 30-mins FREE consultation to get you in the right path.

Don’t forget to like, comment and share.

Till next time,



Time To Act

Time To Act

Time To Act

Before I get started I would like to ask the following question:

Do we overcomplicate everything as human beings?

The reason I ask this question is because the more I learn about human behaviour and from personal experience and that of clients, “we” tend to overthink and overcomplicate things.

We live in a society where pretty much everyone wants to excel and succeed at “something”, whatever that something is to them; though, they don’t go for it, they let fear take over them and control their actions.

I know it sounds a lot easier said than done, and all it takes is to take action.

We want to achieve a goal, we do whatever research, homework we have got to do and then get to work.

It really is that simple!

I understand that we all have fears, concerns and hesitations at first; and sadly we let these control us and we end up procrastinating or we don’t even get started in the first place.

I want you to understand that what has to be done first is for you to give yourself permission to go for it.

Once you give yourself permission get to work, and fulfil your dreams.

It is time to act, right now!

If you are “stuck” and you want some “guidance”, I welcome you to contact me and take my 30-mins FREE consultation, you’ve nothing to lose and a lot to win.

Till next time,



What Do You Want Out Of Life?

What Do You Want Out Of Life?


At first when you ask someone the question:

What do you want out of life?

It would seem a simple question; though, the truth is, it isn’t, it is far from easy to answer. I have known very few people who have a laser focused vision of what it is they want, they are very rare people, indeed.

Although, I have learned that to answer this question you have to understand one thing and one thing only.

What am I referring to?

What I mean is, to be able to understand what you want out of life you need to know that you can have anything.

It is that simple, when you know and realise that you can have anything, you realise that you are able to say what you want out of life much easier.

Let me explain this to you further.

If you don’t know that you can be the president of your nation you will not be able to see it as a possibility.

However, when you know that you can be the president of your nation/country, you will feel inspired to take the necessary steps to fulfil that dream.

You will join a political party, you will become a minister, you will want to be elected as the leader of the party and so on…

Until one day you go for it and you get to be the president of your nation/country.

The same applies to becoming a scientist, teacher, zoologist, veterinarian, doctor, lawyer, author, etc.

Is this easy to accomplish?

I wish I could lie to you, and the answer is YES, it is “easy” to accomplish.

Though, because of the stories we keep telling ourselves and unaddressed “traumatic” and “hindering” experiences, we see this as out of our reach.

It isn’t difficult once you understand it, you can have anything you want to as long as you give it the time, effort and energy it requires.

So, what do you want out of life?

Write it down and go for it.

Till next time,



PS, don’t forget to like, comment and share.

Memoires Of A Suicidal Teenager – Part 3

Memoires Of A Suicidal Teenager – Part 3


The morning after the night before arrived, too early if I am honest.

I used to start school at 7 AM, which meant I had to be up 4.30 AM to be out of the house for 5.15 and arrive at school any time between 6.15 and 6.30 AM.

I woke up feeling guilty and ashamed, I had failed at something that “seemed easy” and was “important” to me; not only that but once my mother found out I would be in trouble and she would think even less of me.

My routine started as usual, getting out of bed for 4.30 AM or earlier; I felt nauseous, the taste of pharmacy hadn’t escaped my mouth, the vacuum in my heart seemed greater than it had been the day before and I felt lonelier than ever.

I was a walking “zombie”, I looked like death, I smelled like a pharmacy and I was numb, physically and emotionally; no one seemed to “notice” anything different about me, my teenage classmates and other peers were too “busy” in their teenage lives to be able to realise somebody else’s “drama”, my drama!

I felt “invisible”, I felt “dead”; although, I hadn’t succeeded, the difference between been dead and where I was was that instead of being 6 ft under I was walking among the living.

Hey, Mr Vence, what’s up with you? This husky voice shouted at me…

I stood still, wondering if there was someone talking to me? It took me sometime to register it, when I did I turned around and glanced in that direction.

What’s up with you, it repeated.

Crap, I thought!

I avoided the biology teacher, sadly it was in vane; there was no escaping.

Hey, what’s up with you I asked!

A bit of background about my biology teacher, she was a cat and dog lady, loved by some students, hated by others; equally admired by some teachers and hated by others.

She would arrive first thing in the morning (and again late at night) to feed the dogs she had rescued; she would encourage her students to recycle cans and the money would go to good causes in the school itself and to feed the dogs at school. Simply remarkable!

Judith Atencio, was intense, in your face, loud, and very, very perceptive.

Why haven’t you brought your urine samples to the lab classes? (Apologies, it sounds pretty graphic but it was for an experiment).

Oh, I forgot I muttered as I started crying.

What’s the mattered with you? She asked with concern in her voice.

I tried to commit suicide yesterday and I failed, I feel disgusted, ashamed and guilty.

Her first reaction was to ask if I’d been to hospital to which I replied negatively.

She advised me to go, I simply declined.

We chatted for the duration of the break.

I felt relieved, I felt I had taken a massive weight off my shoulders. Though, I had promised myself to keep what happened as a secret, I needed to talk to someone, I had to release that “evil spell” out of me.

The day went better than I had anticipated, no one saw me different, no one could “guess” I had tried to commit suicide, I was making it out to be much bigger than it actually was.

That moment of honesty opened my mind and my heart to a new realm of possibilities. I just didn’t know it.

For the first time in my life I had been honest and it was “healing”, I was able to say I needed help and I didn’t die in the process, even when I had done so the day before.

I started to see a tiny spark of “hope” emerging from this situation. I didn’t know what would come out of it, but I went from wishing I wasn’t on this planet to wondering, what IF there is something else, something “better”, something “bigger”, what if I am supposed to grow stronger from this situation, what if, what if, what it…

It would be a massive lie if I said my life “changed” straight away, I could still feel the sinking hole in my chest, I felt unloved (even if someone had shown they cared), I felt alone (even when there were thousands around me), I felt vulnerable (when in fact there were many who were truly vulnerable), I felt shame and guilt (when I wasn’t the only one feeling it).

The 28th of March was the day of a new beginning, a new beginning of what or to what, I had no idea, I only knew that I didn’t die and the options were pretty slim, I either chose life or I chose the other option.

Had I changed? Had something changed? Who knew…

I was clear about one thing though, I was not going to be the priest’s prisoner and I was not going to be a victim.

How was I going to accomplish it? I had no idea, nor did I care, I had the desire to make it happen.

I had found someone who was willing to listen, and it got me thinking, were there others willing to listen and help me too?

I hope you have enjoyed today’s blog. More blogs as part of Memoires of a suicidal teenager are to follow.

Till next time,



Are You Living In A Vicious Circle?

Are You Living In A Vicious Circle?


Have you ever wondered if you live in a vicious circle?

Do you keep making the same mistakes over and over and over again?

Do you keep asking yourself the question, will I ever learn?

Do you feel trapped in a hamster wheel?

If you answer yes to any of the last 3 question it is very likely you are living your life in a vicious circle.

What is a vicious circle?

A vicious circle (and please notice this is my take on it), is a never ending behaviour or lifestyle that quite frankly gets us nowhere.

To simplify this concept imagine you want to make £1M and you go to brainstorm and come up with money making ideas.

You come up with amazing ideas and you start to execute them and the moment you come across the first obstacle you quit.

Though, the idea of you wanting to make £1M is still there, so you go and come up with some more ideas, and the same happens for a second time and a third and a forth and so on and so forth.

That is the easiest way I can find to explain what a vicious circle is.

Or, as Einstein once said: Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expect different results.

Can I come out of a vicious circle?

Absolutely yes, you can.

It only takes commitment and work, and not just any work but personal work and tons of integrity.

What is integrity?

Integrity in the most simplistic definition is doing what you said you were going to do, keeping to your word and seeing things through to the very end.

Examples of vicious circles?

Yo-yo dieting, in and out of diets, waiting for the newest and most cutting edge die to come and hope for the best.

Career changing, going from job to job or career to career, hoping that you will land in the ideal career or job at some point.

Serial dating, going from relationship to relationship in the hope to find Mr or Mrs Right, without giving any of the relationships a real chance.

Can you think of what your vicious circle is?

How can I put an end to a vicious circle?

Putting an end to a vicious circle is easier than it seems, you have to understand that a vicious circle when something happen (normally in the first 6-10 years of our lives), we create a story around this event and we will go on to reinforce this story by constantly looking for the evidence to prove it right.

For example, if you scratch your dad’s car and you create the story that you are a bad boy or girl, from that moment on you will look for the evidence to confirm you are a bad boy or girl; creating conflict, getting into trouble, bad grades, etc., etc.

So, what needs to happen is for you to understand what happened (the event/memory that originated the whole vicious circle), figure out what story you told yourself and collapse it, get rid of it.

Finally, you will have to “put your money where your mouth is” by keeping to your word, i.e. be integral about what you do and do what you say you are going to do.

Once you overcome this vicious circle you empower yourself to create new possibilities, new options and ways of being.

I hope you have enjoyed today’s post and feel free to share what your vicious circle is.

Don’t forget to like, comment and share,

Till next time,



Memoires Of A Suicidal Teenager – Part 2

Memoires Of A Suicidal Teenager – Part 2


I have no recollection of what happened after 2pm on that Monday, I slept deeply without a care in the world. For all I knew I was gone, dead, deceased!

Anyhow, I was done with it. What was the point in caring about a world and life that have turned their backs on me.

Suddenly, at around 10 minutes after 7 pm, just 5 hours after what seemed the best decision I had made, I was shouted at and shaken by my mother.

Jorge, get the hell out of bed and go to the corner shop, NOW.

Little did she know of what I had done. She was so blinded by her own “stuff”, that she didn’t even know I was on antidepressants, let alone that I had swallowed them all.

I would be lying if I said that coming round was easy, I was confused and startled, I didn’t know how long I had been out for, it seemed days if I am honest.

Though, the first thought that came to my mind was: crap! I didn’t succeed.

I can’t even do this right, I muttered to myself.

What do I have to do to get this life over with?

I can’t take this anymore. I want out, I don’t belong here, I am better off under the ground, rotting away and feeding the worms which seem to be of more value to humanity and I ever will.

In my confusion I left for the corner shop, I was floating in the air, I couldn’t feel my legs, I was totally numb.

I had a disgusting taste in my mouth of narcotics, it almost left as if I was a walking pharmacy, same smell, though the taste wasn’t as appealing.

Noone knew what I had done. That was my secret. The only witness I had was 8 years old only and he didn’t seem bother about anything. He cared more about our next door neighbour than anything else in the entire world.

I would take this to my grave, which would be real soon I said to myself. I am going to succeed no matter what, just wait and see, I will keep trying till I make it happen.

Upon arriving with the groceries, which to be honest I had no idea what I had gone for, nor how long I had gone for, nor do I remember any exchange of money, I couldn’t think straight.

Oh poop! I remembered that earlier that day (before I filled myself with courage to do what I did), I had given my word to a classmate that I would go to her house and give her a hand with some biology.

Everything seemed a blur and I did my best to “blag” it and help her understand the subject. I think I helped her somehow. Even, when deep down I was the one needing help the most. Though, I kept it to myself, that secret was mine, mine, mine and no one would make me talk, over my dead body only.

One thing I can say never changed, during this odyssey, was my love for food.

From very early on I was known for being a “foodie”, everyone knew that the way to my brain was through my stomach.

I am sure they called a “food prostitute” behind my back!

My classmate/neighbour made me a fried egg sandwich, to say it tasted like hell is an understatement, I couldn’t differentiate any flavours, everything tasted so disgusting, like a mixture of sewer, rubbish and chemicals all blended together!

Once I did my “good” deed, I left for my house, hoping to be murdered on my way back to my mother’s house.

I arrived in one piece, feeling worse than I did earlier in the day. My mother and I were barely speaking; my brother was caught in the middle of it all, his father had left a few months earlier, leaving him careless.

I went to bed praying, praying to God: if you are real take me now, I have had enough.

I went to bed praying, praying to Satan too: if you are real, take me, take my soul now, it is yours, no sacrifice required, I am volunteering it to you.

I cried myself to sleep, hoping, wishing, wanting to be gone forever.

Keep tuned in for more blogs about memoires of a suicidal teenager.

Till next time,


Memoires Of A Suicidal Teenager

Memoires Of A Suicidal Teenager


Back in 2000 when I was 16 years old, when I thought life had ended even before it began, I didn’t know there were resources available to me out there nor did I know to whom to turn to, what to do or what to say.

Here is but a summary of the things I felt.

I used to wake up early morning, feeling empty and almost dead, the best way I can describe it is I felt as if someone had taken my heart off my chest and in its place left me with a void, that was what I felt an abyss in my chest which made me feel purposeless and empty.

I couldn’t think straight; it didn’t matter what wonderful things were happening around me I could not get away from the “misery” I was feeling and living.

The lack of friends didn’t help, I felt alone in the world and misunderstood by only one who I thought could do something, my mother.

As you probably will remember, I have said that my mother disowned me; her words were like a dagger that cut deep and through my heart, right into my soul, this is what she said (after finding out I was gay):

“I used to have you in a pedestal, now you are nothing to me”.

Ouch, did that hurt?

It was another nail on that coffin; although, I know she said those words out of desperation and anger, but at the time it hurt pretty bad.

I felt unloved, unworthy and shame and guilt.

I felt unloved by my mother, the one I thought I could turn to; I didn’t see anyone else as family; well I also saw my brother as my family, though, at the time he wished I wasn’t his brother, I wasn’t as “cool” as our neighbour.

I felt unworthy because I didn’t think I was deserving of anything, love, friends, joy, happiness, I had lost if all; in fact, I never thought I had in the first place.

Lastly, I felt shame and guilt, I felt I let my family down for various reasons, for being gay, for having even been born, I destroyed my mother’s hopes for my future, I was ashamed of who I was and what had happened to me.

I lived like this for months.

Though, the “symptoms” of feeling unloved, unworthy, shame and guilt were with me for many years, I just learned to cover them and “pretend” that everything was OK!

Then January 2000 came, this month would change my life forever, literally, I went from feeling “numb” to feeling 100% raw, exposed and totally vulnerable.

I fell in a pretty bad depression, between January 2000 and March of the same year, I was publicly humiliated by a priest I trusted, my mother disowned me and I lost my will to live.

Just in case I hadn’t mention it or that you didn’t know, I fell in love with a priest, and this same priest “kicked me out” of church, made a public announcement saying I wasn’t allowed in church and told my mother I had tried to come on to him; when it wasn’t even true.

I carried that shame with me for months, very few people knew the truth and hundreds if not thousands wondering what had happened.

I stayed away from “his” church and any church for that matter for months, I felt I didn’t belong nor did I want to be there.

Then, one Sunday, I filled myself with courage and decided to go to “his” church and let the world know I wasn’t his prisoner any more.

At the time, it seemed like a great idea; he even seemed glad to see me, I felt even more hurt because he was being nice and pretending nothing had happened.

By this time, I had been on antidepressants for a couple of months, to say they were working would be massive lie, I hadn’t noticed any changes, I seemed to get “worse”.

On Monday 27th of March, I had one of the worst days at high school, it felt as if everyone had turned their backs on me, I felt lonely, sad and even more depressed.

I remembered how the priest had come to me, speaking to me like nothing had happened, and I sank even deeper.

I left school feeling and wishing I had never been born, I had the intention to make it happen, to erase my life from the face of this earth and take with me any evidence that I ever existed.

I got home just after 1 pm, I reached for my antidepressants and stared at them for what seemed a life time, should I? Should I not? Should I? Should I not?

I froze in time, weighing out any positives from my life, to realise that nothing was screaming at me saying please don’t do it, everything and I mean everything was saying do it, there is nothing worth fighting for.

I was ashamed of myself, riddled with guilt, I felt unloved by everyone and I felt unworthy.

I peeled my antidepressants from their packaging one by one, all 47 of them, filled a glass with water and proceeded to count them, as if that would achieve anything.


I played with them waiting for a sign, which never came, I put all the tablets in my right hand and took them all at once, without hesitation or guilt, and I did this in front of my younger brother, who probably thought I was playing.

Little did he know that I wasn’t playing a game, but playing with my life instead!

For the first time in my life, I felt in control, I was in charge and I didn’t regret my decision, I was about to put an end to what I had lived by then.

So, at 2 o’clock on that Monday afternoon I went to sleep hoping to never wake up.

I will share more about my story in future blog posts, stay tuned in.

Till next time,



How Do You Want To Be Remembered?

How Do You Want To Be Remembered?

How Do You Want To Be Rememered- (1)

A simple question, hey?

How do you want to be remembered?

I remember the first time I was asked this question and to be honest I didn’t know what to say, I was clueless.

In fact, I would say not many people would know what to say if asked this question.

The more I get into personal development and the more I read and write and work with my clients for confidence and success the more I use and hear the word, legacy.

A legacy is leaving our mark on this planet for years after we have gone.

If you aren’t a Spanish native speaker you mightn’t know what my surname means, Vence literally can mean two things: to expire (not really the meaning I want TBH) or to conquer (that’s more like it!).

So, after 2000 when I learned to be kind to myself, to accept myself, to dream and to love myself and I started to say the following mantra to myself: Your name is Jorge Vence and it has been given to you for a reason, so honour it.

I did and continue to do just that (after 2000 obviously).

Also, you might know this old Latin quote: “Veni, vidi, vici” (“I came; I saw; I conquered”) which is popularly attributed to Julius Caesar.

In my early 20’s I decided to take a few months off and go travelling, I wanted to see the world and have fun.

One of the things I did (which I hope must people do) was to send a postcard to myself back home and they would read: To Jorge Vence – Veni, Vidi, Vici – From Jorge Vence.

From that moment I decided that was the way I wanted to be remembered.

I want people and the world to remember me for how I touched their lives, how I left them feeling better than before they came to me and met me; how I saw the world, its magic and made the most of every second of life given to me and lastly, how I conquered my fears, my worries, my doubts, my limiting beliefs and how I kept going, till the very end.

This I want to be my legacy to the world.

I want to share a couple of things with you, my surname was given to me by my step father, great surname to be given TBH (Gonzalez is a bit overrated!).

The other thing is my surname, originates from France from the French Riviera, in a small walled city just outside Nice, which I have been blessed to visit.

Perhaps, you will remember how we tell ourselves stories about ourselves and the world and anything, really.

Just the very fact that I learned that the real meaning of my surname wasn’t to conquer but something else didn’t stop me from telling myself that my surname is a reminder of what I am meant to do and achieve in this life.

So, the way I want to be remembered and what I want engraved on my tombstone is as follows: Jorge Vence, Vini, Vidi, Vici, lived his life to the fullest and truly honoured his surname.

How do you want to be remembered?

What will your legacy be?

What do you want engraved on your tombstone?

Please let me know on the comments section.

Till next time,