How Much Can A Conversation Help You?

We love to talk and have a conversation with everyone around us, these connect us and can be healing too, for all those involved.

Though, in my personal experience and that of my clients, family and friends we just talk about the superficial stuff and take everything else for granted OR we think others won’t care.

I used to withhold and be shallow and superficial in my conversations, they didn’t take me far and almost cost me my life.

I felt alone, lonely, unwanted and a burden to my family and society, but everyone thought I was fine and just another moody teenager.

The day after my suicide attempt that withholding stopped and I opened up, I spoke to someone about my life and how I felt.

That conversation without a shadow of a doubt saved my life, I learned people cared and they’d do whatever they can to help… all that is needed is for us to open up.

Why am I going on about this?

This year I have made myself the commitment to be there for everyone I know and to make new friends.

Today a friend phoned me and asked me round so I went and we had such a great conversation that lasted for hours.

What was great about this conversation was the generosity and honesty of every word spoken, we just had a real and open conversation.

We didn’t pretend to be anyone else but ourselves, we didn’t have to mind our every word and openly would disagree with each other without arguing about it.

That honesty and openness opened a gate of compliments and kindness and love that you don’t see every day.

Here is what we fail to do in our conversations, we are (or can be) very stingy and inauthentic… these create blockages and barriers that stop the real communication and there is almost no real content to it all.

It was a great reminder of the magic that takes place when we openly, honestly and humanly talk to another person AND the connection it strengthens, and the feeling afterwards is so rewarding.

Talking about ourselves can be scary and awkward at first but over time it gets easier to openly talk about what is worrying us and our concerns, and problems.

I invite you to have more open and honest conversations with your loved ones, and please let me know how these enrich your lives. Give it a go.

Till next time, with all my love,

Jorge

You Are Amazing

You Are Amazing


 

There are so many things I loooove doing and I do my best to do them all so I don’t feel I am missing out on anything.

One of these things is writing poetry.

I was ever so fortunate when I was in middle and high school as I had the most passionate teachers in literature and poetry, I loved reading the books assigned not only because they told a story or taught me something new but because I got to step into the author/narrator’s mind and interpret what he meant at the time.

Even to this day I have so much respect for those ladies who gave so much, and I honour them by writing non-fiction books and poetry.

So, back in November 2017 a mentor asked to write a poetry to recite in front of an audience at a conference I was attending at the time, I couldn’t say no AND I had no time to write it, also I hadn’t written anything for a while, so it felt a bit challenging.

I let my innate intelligence guide my fingers over the keys and I let the words flow as if an unknown energy took over me and this is what came out.

You are amazing!

The words, the energy and the sentiment behind this poem are a celebration to life and to love and to us.

This is one of my favourite poems to date, so enjoy it.

Please share this poems in your social networks and spread this celebration.

With all my love,

Jorge

 

You Are Amazing

 

Wondrous and marvellous being,

YOU were born out of a miracle,

Out of the universe of love YOU came from,

The chances were slim, yet you made it.

 

The day to arrive into this world came,

You fought and you pushed and out you came.

The light you saw and a deep breath you took, AND

Out a scream of LIFE came marking your arrival.

 

Hours, days and months of learning and growing came,

Everything was, oh so new and yet all so familiar,

You fell, you failed, you cried and AGAIN you stood,

Your sheer resilience and tenacity NEVER let you down.

 

Do YOU even know what an incredible GIFT to this world YOU are?

You are an inspiration, you are a god among us,

Yet, you seem to have forgotten who you REALLY are!

So, here I am a messenger from heavens to tell you just that.

 

Your life and what you do matters, YOU matter,

Cast the doubt and the fear to one side and break free,

Step into your greatness, let the light a new way show you,

Let your life be that of your dreams, be a flame in the fire of life.

 

Your thoughts, your ideas and EVERYTHING you do the world they can change,

You have forgotten the essence of who you are,

You have let the noises from the world around drown you and your awesomeness,

WAKE UP, STAND UP, STEP UP, TAKE A STAND and reveal who you TRULY are.

 

Listen to my words, hear my message,

I believe in you, I know who you really are,

Stop playing small, this is NOT your real role,

You are, oh so much more.

 

Riches, wealth and infinite abundance your birthright are,

Anything you can have, but the do must you do,

And firstly you ought to be, not anything nor anyone,

Be, be you, be who you know yourself to be.

 

Magic, love, passion AND so much more,

Listen to the voice of your heart, feel the fire burning in your soul,

Be, live, love, find yourself, free yourself,

Wake up to the real you, and live for the first time.

Learn, unlearn and most importantly relearn,

That you are love, that you are important,

That there is no one like you,

Nor there will EVER be ANYone like you!

 

YOU ARE AMAZING, REMEMBER THIS,

YOU ARE INCREDIBLE, KNOW THIS,

YOU ARE SENSATIONAL, BELIEVE THIS,

YOU ARE MAGNIFICENT, NEVER FORGET THIS!

 

Written by Jorge Vence

You are amazing

What is love?

Today I want to give you a poem, a blessing from me.

Happy Valentine’s.


What is love?


What is love?
But a kiss, a caress,
One I love you,
One I need you.
What is love?
But an expression of who you are,
And extension of your being,
One action,
One thought.

What is love?
But a whisper, a smile,
One memory,
One second of intimacy.
What is love?
But feelings, emotions,
One heartbeat,
One breath taken and returned.

What is love?
But what I feel for you,
One unheard voice,
One unfelt touch.
What is love?
But the universe at your feet,
One world,
One heart.

What is love?
But me and you,
One part of you,
One part of me.
What is love?
But what we feel together,
Your heart,
My heart,
Dancing together at unison,
Making magic possible,
Discovering the impossible,
Exploring what’s possible.
Love is all there is,
Love is all we need,
Love is you,
Love is me!

What is love?
Who cares?
Noone fully gets it,
Noone fully understands it
What is love?
But all there is,
All we need,
All we should ever need.

Jorge Vence

I hope you have enjoyed and please share this love.

Till next time,

Jorge 

What I have learned from being in love…

I love a good love story, though, it is a million times better when it is your own love story!

We grow believing in fairy tales and Princes and Princesses, and marrying the one AND living happily ever after.

Once that dream is ‘crushed’, we become cynical and wave goodbye to that dream we once had.

However…

I still believe in fairy tales and Prince Charming and happily ever afters…

Here is what I have learned from being in love. 

  • Love is a battery that powers your desire to succeed in life.
  • When you are in love you go above and beyond what needs to be done in a relationship and life to make it work.
  • Love serves you as inspiration, it is your muse and your canvas.
  • When you are in love you change the way you feel about yourself and the world around you.
  • Love is more than what we are told, it is a way of being.
  • Love equals life… the more you love the more life you bring into your life and better results.
  • When you are in love you think and act better, your actions are more logical and less erratic. 
  • Love becomes a priority and enables you to become kinder.
  • The more you love the better things and life get. 
  • When you are in love and love someone you will do the best you can to honour that love.
  • Love is nourishing, it feeds and nourishes the heart and mind.
  • Love is the fuel needed to succeed and excel at pretty much anything in life.
  • When you are in love you find ways and opportunities to keep that love alive.
  • Love is a choice, you either choose it or not!

Finally I have learned that in order to love anyone I must love and believe in myself so that love and belief can be passed onto others. 

Till next time, with all my love,

Jorge 

3 Signs That You Don’t Love And Accept Yourself

3 Signs That You Don’t Love And Accept Yourself

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As a confidence and success coach it isn’t uncommon for me to hear that people don’t love and accept themselves.

Though, do you know what the main signs that you don’t love and accept yourself are?

Before I tell what these signs are, I would like to share a short story with you.

I am an EFT Master Practitioner, what we do is we tap on specific meridian points where energy is blocked and by tapping we release this energy and the energy is ready to flow, allowing any energetic and emotional blockages to be released too.

However, in traditional EFT when we start a tapping round we do a setup, which normally goes like this:

“Even though, I hate working 9-5 and life is challenging, I completely love and accept myself”.

Seems simple right?

I wish I could put a number to it, though, the vast majority of people struggle with saying I completely love and accept myself!

Going back to blog post.

I decided to investigate more on why people don’t love and accept themselves and what I discovered was that people don’t love and accept themselves because of 3 things mainly shame, guilty and unworthiness.

These are the 3 signs that you don’t love and accept yourself:

1. Rejecting compliments: people who don’t love and accept themselves tend to reject, avoid and deflect compliments because they either feel guilt for receiving it or they just feel unworthy.

2. Talking about everyone but yourself: people who don’t love and accept themselves would avoid talking about themselves at any cost, they will always talk about their family, friends and pets before they talk about themselves because they either feel shame of their lives or they would feel guilty about talking about themselves or putting themselves first. And,

3. Underperformance/underachievement: people who don’t love and accept themselves will be doing “low” paid jobs or jobs that don’t require too many skills because they feel unworthy or any higher paid job, they feel shame of who they are or their skills and guilt that someone better might lose their jobs because of them.

How can people learn to love and accept themselves?

The first and most important step to take to learn to love and accept oneself is to stop judging and criticising themselves.

For those who haven’t loved and accepted themselves for a long time this might sound too simple and even unattainable.

Because of this I have created a 12-week webinar series entitled Learning Love where I share what I did to learn to love and accept myself.

I invite you to take a look and take part on this life changing webinar which will take you from not loving and accepting yourself to fully loving and accepting yourself and who you are.

For more information, visit: http://www.jorgevence.com/webinar-series/learning-love/.

I look forward to hearing from you real soon.

Till next time,

 

Jorge

3 words to keep in mind at all times

Sometimes, it is easy and convenient to have a strategy in place when things aren’t going according to plan. 

When this is the case I keep in mind 3 words that keep me in the right track.

These words are:

Possibility: nothing is impossible for me. As long as I have the skills and knowledge or resources to achieve whatever task is at hand, I see it as a possibility.

Free: I am free to follow my dreams and do whatever I set my mind to. The only thing that could jeopardise my freedom is myself.

Love: knowing that I love myself regardless of the outcome, enables me to be kind with myself.

Using these 3 words: possibility, free and love, when the going gets “tough” allows me to keep going and striving towards my dreams.

Do you have any words or mantra to keep you in the right track?

I would love to hear in the comments section.

Till next time,

Jorge 

Mom, My Cat Is Broken!

Mom, My Cat Is Broken!

Disclaimer!

Before I tell you this beautiful story, here is a disclaimer: No Cats were hurt or broken in the made (writing) of this blog post!

Ollie

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Martin, my partner, had just lost his pet “soul-mate”, Ollie (a Russian blue), I had never in my entire life seen a cat and a human so close, they used to cuddle for hours in bed and you could feel the love coming from the cat (I swear to god I was NOT jealous – OK, maybe a little!), his beautiful slim face (shame about his cute “I-am-well-loved” tummy!) had such passion and love and connection that nothing could get between them.

When my Martin lost him, I didn’t know what to say or what to do. I felt my words would do nothing to bring him back.

To add insult to injury we were abroad when he passed away, so really nothing could have been done or said to make it better or go away.

I gave my partner a cuddle and said I felt his pain and at the same time I “suggested” to wait a wee while before he got another pet, as the memory, this loss needed time to heal.

Christmas

It was almost Christmas time, I had been doing a training in Camden Town, London, I was tired and we were attending a Christmas dinner and Awards Gala; I wish I could say I wasn’t persuaded to have a glass or two of champagne but I’d be lying, my overall mood was just too good, ideal to get me to agree to anything.

My partner’s main business is in the Aesthetic Industry, where he is well-known and respected for being the owner of a multiple awards winning Clinic in the South Coast, Southampton; so, in very few words he knows everyone and it requires a lot of talking and catching up with a lot people.

This particular evening, we spent a lot of the evening talking to a compatriot of his (from Scotland), who kept talking about her “Haggis” and how wonderful and intelligent he was; pictures do speak more than a 1000 words, I had been following his adventures on Facebook, and he was lush!

I am not going to lie, I was secretly in love with that cat. He is a brown rosette Bengal, absolutely beautiful, he looks like a miniature leopard and he also has the attitude of one.

Meanwhile the champagne had continued flowing and I was enjoying yet another glass of this delicious nectar, Martin looked at the in the way a child looks at his mother asking (in silence), can we get one, please?

We didn’t exchange words, just looks; then I said: you want one, don’t you? I have never seen a human being move their head as much as “Churchill the Dog”, ever!

24 hrs you have, you find a breeder and we get it.

I have never seen him move so fast!

Zeena

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On the 9th of December 2013 I witnessed how an animal can imprint on a human being and how they can make you feel valued and complete at the same time.

This cold and rainy day was the day my partner and I got our first pet (some people call it a trial “baby”).

For the first time in a long time I felt a connection with an animal, Zeena, our brown rosette Bengal was perfect and still is.

Intelligent, intuitive, interactive, communicative, perfect in every single way.

When we first saw her, we knew she was the right one for us, she was born in a home were cats were seen as humans, treated with respect and love, they had their own “play” area and they were petted 24/7.

She seemed the best choice of a cat, very similar to Ollie.

Though, nothing is perfect, Zeena sadly is a one-man cat and I was not her man. As silly as it may sound I experienced jealousy, not from her; but from what they had I craved and yearned for that too, I wanted a cat I could get the same love from.

Confession time!

I used to have cats for years as a child, they matched my personality and they were easy to look after, I only had to feed them.

My first cat love-affair happened in 1998/9, this gorgeous tabby female, who must’ve been a few months old, decided to move in, she took all her kitty belongings with her and we became her humans.

She was wild, she was untameable, yet she was so loving and giving.

Perhaps, you remember that I am originally from Panama, what this means is we don’t spay/castrate our pets, we let them be and hope for the best.

You probably guessed it!

We were blessed with a litter of gorgeous kittens, they were all so adorable (all 5 of them!), they looked like coloured candy floss, they were my gran-kitties, they were my family.

I was facing many challenges in my teenage, so I became very attached to these beautiful furry beings.

One morning I left to go to school, as I normally would; though, when I got back, all but 1 of my kittens were gone.

My parents had taken all of the kittens, including their mother and put them in a landfill. My heart was torn, broken in a million pieces.

Ciao, the only male kitten was the one left behind. I will never, ever forget those beautiful green eyes, with his droopy eyelids, his black and white coat and his gentle demeanour. I had a crush on my beautiful cat.

On one of the most challenging days of my life (for more than one reason), on Sunday 23rd of January 2000 Ciao was killed by a dog, a German Shepherd; suddenly I went from having too many cats to having none.

Due to what had happened the day before, I had no tears left to cry for my gorgeous cat. I was tearless. I remember my mother’s face as she gave me the sad news, I looked away and I couldn’t share a tear for my Ciao, I didn’t want to cry knowing it could have been for other reasons and not because I was showing him respect.

The rest of January, all of February and most of March were about healing myself, accepting new challenges and doing my best to honour Ciao’s life and memory.

When I thought I was getting better, life presented me with yet another challenge; so things got a lot worse on the 27th of March, I had enough!

Life, always, has different plans for us; so on the 28th of March a Fairy God Mother comes to my rescue, she was my friend, a mentor, a teacher and a Cat Lady…

So, on 12th of April 2000 another special kitten came into my life, Einstein, OMG, was he cute or what? He was a grey tabby, green eyes and lots and lots of cattitude.

I loved him like he was my own flesh, and he loved me too, that I know with all my heart.

He had a brother, from the same Cat Lady, Dante, he was exquisite, pure white with brown ears and, one blue and one yellow eye. Later, I discovered he may have been deaf in one ear.

Dante, loved me more than any cat I have ever had, I was his and he would do anything to please me, he would bring rats and owls for his daddy and give me his loving whenever he had the chance.

Again, life had different plans, I left them behind… I moved without them!

I broke their kittie hearts. Dante disappeared and never to be seen again. I was fortunate enough to see Einstein years later, much older and much more “cattitudey”; though, he pretended he didn’t recognise me, breaking my heart. I let him down.

So, for years I carried that burden in my heart, I let my three beautiful boys down.

I didn’t cry for Ciao, I left Einstein and Dante behind, I never said goodbye to Dante before he left to never come back and I left Einstein alone when he was the one who healed many of my wounds, never expecting anything back, just me being there, feeding and being his human “bitch”! That was all he wanted.

For these reasons I couldn’t bring myself to have pets for more than 11 years, I feared I would let them down again. I just didn’t know it consciously.

Mom, My Cat Is Broken!

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Fast forward, the year 2014, Zeena had been with us for almost 7 months and it was all good; I just didn’t feel we had connected, there was “something” missing, her heart wasn’t mine and mine wasn’t hers.

So, on July 2014 for my birthday my partner asked what I wanted for my birthday: A cat, I responded. What else would I want? Duh!

Seriously, he replied! Yes, I confirmed.

I knew what I wanted, I wanted a snow Bengal. We knew enough about the breed by now and I had my heart set on it.

I did my research and I found a breeder 30 mins from my city, and even faster than I could say I want a Bengal cat now, I was on the phone and booking a time to come and see the kitten I wanted.

My partner and I are suckers for cute things, why deny it!

We arrived at this bungalow in Berkshire and there must have been around 20 kittens playing, running, being cute (screaming and prostituting themselves for some human attention!); I had never in my entire life seen so many gorgeous kittens at the same time, I was spoiled for choices.

Again, life was having a good laugh at my expense.

The cat I wanted, was the runt of the litter!

She was shy, unfriendly, she would hiss whenever you approached her, she would run away from you and hide in any available space. While the rest, all 19 of them were lively, playful and full of energy. Funny, eh?

I looked at my partner and said: She is broken! I want another one!

It was our first visit, we paid the deposit and we would return a couple of weeks later. To collect “a” cat.

A decision had to be made, a little life was at stake, what should I do?

Then, the 3rd of August 2014 came, I still hadn’t made my mind up.

We arrived and I was anxious, the decision was all mine.

As soon as the doors opened we had 19 kittens all over us, 19 little kittie “prostitutes” screaming for attention and 1 fugitive, the one who always got away.

We were left with the kittens to make our minds up. I had kittens all over, up my legs, my torso, my head, I was covered. They were all so giving, but one.

As I was holding these gorgeous cats, one blue-eyed cotton ball caught my eye; it was the “broken” one, that very second I knew she was mine, she was my “baby”.

Those eyes told a story, those eyes touched my soul and kept it captive.

In my head I played a movie, months from that day a little child upset saying to his mommy and daddy: mom, dad, my cat is broken! I don’t want it anymore…

That image disturbed me, I didn’t want any cat to have to suffer what mine did all those years ago.

I knew I could give this beautiful cotton ball the love she needed.

So, I decided to give a home to the “broken” one, I made it my mission to give her so much love that she wouldn’t know what to do with it.

Day 1, 2 casualties! My partner and I had so many scratches that we didn’t have enough plasters to cover them.

She hissed and scratched and ran away from us, constantly.

We kept her in our bedroom with us for two weeks, which seemed to have lasted two decades to be honest, she never stopped screaming!

Though, from day 1 I was determined to say to that little blue-eyed cotton ball that she was loved, that her daddy loved her.

I would (carefully) approach her (risking my life in the process), stroking her and saying: daddy loves you.

I did that every day for the first 6 months (and still continue to do it), but on the 6th moth I was away with work for a week. Before I left she looked at me wondering where I was going and then running away!

During that time my partner said she seemed friendlier, and what made the real difference was one night when I was having a video chat with my partner and she was in the living room with him, he put the phone near her face so she could see me, obviously she didn’t give a damn about the phone on her face, but then I said: Baby, daddy loves you!

That very moment she looked into the camera with her stunning blue-pearled eyes and I knew all my hard work had paid off.

I put into practice what I knew about human behaviour and applied it to the way I treated my baby girl and it had worked.

She is a cat and she will always have a cattitude on her; though, I know she knew I would never give up on her and she let her guard down, she let me in, she let us in and allowed us to love her.

Today, we can pet her, hold her and give her the love she deserves. I took a chance and it paid off.

Blizzard is her name BTW, aka “Baby” and she communicates with me in ways that only I know, we have “our own” thing going on.

I may have helped her by giving her a “chance”, a home and love; but the one who has truly benefited from it all has been me, she helped me to heal from my past experiences with my cats (and other events from the past), not being able to fight to keep them with me, for not being able to cry when one of them died and for having left 2 of them behind as I embarked on a new life.

She has helped me realise that when you truly love someone all barriers come down and love always finds a way.

She has taught me that there is no such thing as a “tough” cookie, there are only different cookies, a “cookie” for everyone!

She has taught me the most valuable lesson that it doesn’t matter how “challenging” we can be as people, there is always someone out there “willing” to love us and help us grow, evolve and heal, allowing us to be ourselves.

So, this is the story of “my broken cat”.

I hope you have enjoyed reading about my “broken” cat, who wasn’t broken but misunderstood and it took a leap of faith to allow her to show her true “spots”.

If you liked it, why not share it on social media, like it and comment too.

With all my love.

 

Jorge

 

 

Endless Love

Endless Love

Living In Love

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After years of thinking that I was not entitled to love and happiness; I “woke up” from that nightmare to find out that I was worth every ounce of love I found my way.

When I “woke up” form this imaginary nightmare (truth be told, this was created in my head and stayed there until I decided to free myself from this unwanted way of thinking) things started to align themselves in my life.

As you probably are aware (and as briefly touched on yesterday) by The Law of Attraction we attract into our lives what we think about.

During my teenage years when I thought the world was against me (it felt that way, anyway!) all I attracted was sadness, hurt, unhappiness and disappointment.

Ok, let’s not forget that I had to come to terms with the fact I was gay and it took me a wee while to accept myself (more of that in another episode – I promise it won’t disappoint!).

So, months after I came to terms with being gay things changed in my life, in my head and in me.

For the first time in those 16 years at the time I felt sort of “comfortable” in my own skin, I felt like I had a voice and a purpose.

Yes, things were still “challenging” but they were easier.

After months of therapy and psychotherapy I was learning about myself and the world; my black and white life was starting to fill up with colour, things were changing around me and I was, for once, in charge of my life.

One day (which I remember like it was yesterday) I was out celebrating my graduation from college with a friend, who took me under his wing and looked after me like a younger brother, and this day my life changed forever.

This night, the 30th of December 2000 I met the man that not only swept me off my feet but gave me so much love I didn’t even know was possible to receive.

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Life till that very moment had had its ups and downs, moments of happiness and others not so happy, moments when I wished I wasn’t here any longer and others when I felt I was here for some “reason”.

Though, the day I met this gentleman many things became clearer, I realised I was allowed and I deserved love, I was worth being loved, it didn’t matter what had happened before that day, all those times my heart had been broken, the times love laughed at me, the times I had to glue my heart together, all of that didn’t matter that day (or any after that moment!).

When I looked into his eyes I saw life, I felt alive and I learned that life was worth fighting for when you have someone who loved you more than you love yourself.

This very day, I thought that whatever had happened beforehand was all but a mirage because my “real” life was just about to start.

Although, I know it sounds quite “fairy-taley”, what I am trying to exemplify here is that when we change the way we think about the world and ourselves, when we turn our back on the negative and focus on the positive life really begins.

As mentioned in my book Growing Confident, and truth be told (hand on heart – I totally promise – scouts honour!), I hadn’t realised that upon changing my “mindset” (BTW this happened on the 28th of March 2000 after an OD), 9 months post that I found love (and life again) and 2 years post meeting my love (at the time) I found myself moving to England.

Also, everything post that 28th of March has been almost magical because I learned to focus on life and love and things that allowed me to become a better person.

Love has truly been the reason I am here sharing my story with the world and helping my clients and students to become better versions of themselves and create a ripple effect around them, so everyone they meet and touch benefits from that change in them and their lives.

During this time I have also learned that love truly is endless when you learn to love and accept yourself no matter what, sometimes it takes someone else to make us realise we are worth all the love in the world.

It truly is a journey when you learn to love yourself, when you shift your mindset and the direct by-product of this process is the life you always wanted.

Love, live, love, live, live in love, and love while living is my mantra.

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Have you told someone you love them recently?

Have you told yourself you love yourself lately?

What about showing acts of love on a daily basis?

Whose life can you touch with love?

I hope you have enjoyed this blog post and please share with people you know and those who might need that tiny weeny bit of love in their lives.

Remember there’s plenty to go round (I have got plenty to give).

With all my love (and I mean it!).

From my heart to yours,

 

Jorge

Why Do Poets Write Poetry?

Why Do Poets Write Poetry?

What poetry is your heart telling?

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From a very early age I have loved poetry and literature, though, I have to admit I am mostly inclined to say that poetry is my favourite.

As a good Latin boy (or man, the option is yours J), passion is a great part of my life, I am passionate about everything, it is a part of who I am, my identity.

I find that poetry touches me, and moves many emotions deep in me.

When I was growing up (I still am, at least hope to grow a little more), I had fewer friends than the average child/teenager, we just had different ideas and very little in common.

So, I found myself reading whatever I could get hold of, it served me in many ways, and to this date I still love reading, whether it is an article, a chapter of a good book, a short story, an essay or a poetry (oh poetry… what would this man’s life be without you, you sweet muse, my delightful muse).

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I have to be totally honest, I was very fortunate I had one of the best literature professors anyone could ever wish for at college, Mrs Matute was the best, because of her I fell in love with Latin America’s short literature and prose history.

At the age of 15, we were encouraged (though, some of my peers felt we were forced to!), to compile a list of 100 poems from our favourite poet, from the 18th century (oh, how wonderful I thought – I was a library mouse, still am!). Mrs Matute lived for her literature and she was able to inspire and pass that beautiful knowledge onto others (at least the willing ones, like myself).

Well, what can I say?

I felt compelled to write poetry.

I started writing poetry in my diary, I felt it was the easiest way to put on paper what I was feeling at the time. Though, to my amazement, I was not the only one, some of my closest friends at school too (the handful of friends I had J – it is not about the quantity you know!).

Now, I am able to see poetry and literature through a completely different filter, through the eyes of a coach and therapist.

So, when I look at a poem, I don’t just see some words or piece of art, I see a part of someone who put their feelings and emotions, opinions and ideas, likes and dislikes, for eternity, for everyone to see, and see life through their eyes, through their filters.

I, personally, have found poetry and literature rather therapeutic and healing.

When, I put my thoughts and ideas on paper, I feel lighter, there is a mental release, and whatever has troubled me seems to vanish either for good or at least momentarily.

Then, when I visit those poems or writing, or pieces of me on writing I am able to assess and determine what was going through my mind at the time.

Based on what I have said so far, I would say that poets write poetry, not only because they love life and poetry, but because they feel the urge and need to release a demon deep inside of them, that speaks to them in verse rather than in words, just like an artist paints on a canvas what they see in their mind’s eye.

A poet puts on paper what is in his heart, what is buried deep in his soul and by bringing it to the surface, i.e. the paper of the computer screen, he releases it and able to rest.

Writing poetry is not difficult, on the contrary it is so simple, there are no rules, the only rule is that you empty what is inside of you, your love, your inspiration, a part of you; other than anything goes, anything, you set the bar and put the limits.

In my few years on this planet I have written hundreds of poems, sadly some of them lasted momentarily, the emotions attached to them were far too great to keep; however, those that reminded me of the fun, joy and love I have experienced so far, are still with us.

If you are curious and would like to read my poetry you can find some of my poems on my ebook Soul Poems, From My Heart To Yours available on Amazon, and Growing Confident, 10 Simple Steps To A More Confident You available on DragonRising.com, check them out, I have written them with all my love.

So, what I am really getting at here is, whenever you feel excited, sad, in love, inspired put it on paper, write a poem, write something about whatever is going in your head and bring it to live, materialise it and allow that process to be completed and healed.

An idea on paper, a feeling on paper is much better than something that is constantly lurking on our heads and keeping us trapped and depending on it.

I highly encourage you to give it and go, and if you feel brave, whether it is a book or poems, have them published, share them with the world.

I will explore this in more detail tomorrow, sharing your story and gift with the world (I speak of these two subjects in more detail on Growing Confident).

Do it, your future self with thank you and, you never know whose life you might positively impact as a direct result.

Till tomorrow.

With all my love.

From my heart to yours,

 

Jorge

Why do people (and Bob Geldof?) “Not Like” or hate Mondays”?

Why do people (and Bob Geldof?) “Not Like” or hate Mondays”?

Why?

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For as long as I can remember, I have recollections of people “cursing”, both metaphorically and literally speaking, Mondays, I never quite understood why and, truth be told I do not know or “get” why, as yet!

My experiences with Mondays have always been sooo different, compared to what other people have shared with me in past.

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Those who know me (I hope you get to know me too!) cannot understand why I, on the other hand, looooove my Mondays.

I see Mondays as a new beginning, new opportunities have been granted to us and we are able to “regain” control over our affairs.

After a couple of days off, i.e. Saturday and Sunday, it can be a challenge and quite difficult to bring oneself back to that mindset of getting things done and getting our priorities right!

Though, when you look forward to starting a new chapter in your month or year, Mondays have the potential to become our best allies. When you look forward to a new week and by that I mean, Monday, you become excitable, hopeful and inspired to take action and, have a great week.

It is not uncommon to hear people doing a countdown to their weekend, almost as if they were running away from their week or themselves; sadly, it is a different story altogether, when it comes to a Monday.

I start to wonder, if people were more “open minded” about Mondays and what they have to offer, would they be welcoming more opportunities and a new approach to the week ahead?

Continuing on what we talked about yesterday, language and communication, when we vocalise we “hate” Mondays, we wish it still was the weekend, or beg for one more day; is it fair to say we are setting ourselves for failure?

Think about it? If you have to do something you “hate”, you are not going to enjoy, no matter what.

But, if you looooove what you are going to be doing, if you are welcoming it into your life and you are excited, the results well, they will speak for themselves.

I truly hope you have found this brief and short blog of some use to you.

Try it, in fact do it, next Monday, I invite you to be excited about and notice the difference it creates in your week and who knows maybe even your life.

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Till next time (which is tomorrow BTW).

With all my love.

From my heart to yours,

 

Jorge

 

PS, as always feel free to comment, share and give any feedback J

 

Is Communication More Important Than Language?

Is communication more important than language?

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Today is the last day of a NLP Practitioner training I am delivering here in Southampton, England.

As a trainer of NLP and various other modalities, and as a Coach and Therapist I am particularly interested and fascinated by communication and language.

Before I fully go into this blog, I want to take the opportunity to say that effective communication is much more than speaking properly and using the best words to describe any given situation. English isn’t my first language, yet it hasn’t stopped me from communicating effectively nor has it been the reason why I might have miscommunicated in the past.

That having been said (deep sigh!), I can start this blog.

In NLP we have some “mantras” or sayings which we call The Presuppositions of NLP. What this means is we take them and treat them as law to enable us to look at things and situations from a different light.

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There are two of these presuppositions that come to mind:

  1. The meaning of communication is the response you get, and
  2. You cannot not communicate.

You see, they might seem quite cryptic and almost have no meaning; though, when you break them down their meaning or core message is so powerful.

If we take the first one, the meaning of communication is the response we get.

I invite you to revisit a past event where you had a conversation with someone (anyone would do nicely BTW), and that conversation went wrong, totally pear-shaped!

What went wrong?

What did you do?

What did you say?

How did you say it?

I am not accusing you of anything, I promise! (Or am I?)

By asking this questions what I am aiming for you to do is to start noticing how there are many elements involved at the time we communicate with other people.

Things like, the time of the day, the time of the month, our current state, our financial situation, whether we are hungry or in a hurry; these factors can influence the how we come across to others, this then is transferred to our physiology (some people call this body language!), the tempo and speed of our voice, and at times they can have a direct or indirect impact in the choice of the words we use at the time.

If we take, for example, “body language” (I am sorry, I am laughing at this moment – I built this image of headless bodies running around talking and doing their day-to-day tasks), we can then see how the use of our height, hands, feet can play a huge role when we speak to others, we may come across as friendly or unfriendly, as an ally or as a threat.

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It has been said in the past that 55% of our communication is that non-verbal “stuff” we say or don’t say when we have a conversation with colleagues, friends or children. The rest, 38% is how we say things and only 7% relates to the words we use (choose to use really!).

These 3 things should be aligned and in congruency when we speak, so the words we say should match how we speak them and what our bodies are saying too.

To illustrate this, just imagine having a conversation with a child asking him or her, have you washed your hands? And, they respond by say yes, nodding negatively and their hands are covered in dirt? Would you be satisfied with that answer, when their bodies don’t match what has been said?

Looking at the other presupposition, you cannot not communicate (a double negative, oh dear! – BTW I don’t think we have these in Spanish! – phew), what this is really telling us is We Are Always Communicating, whether we want it or not – even in our sleep.

So, now let’s look at the linguistic side of communication.

We are very familiar with phrases like “negative self-talk”, “positive language”, “clean language”, “sexy language” – aka, dirty language (sorry, I couldn’t resist) and, we also have what we call “ecological language” in NLP (this means how the language used can have an impact in our environment, both internal and external).

Language is much more than words and sentences succinctly and beautifully put together, it is much more than the artful skills we have been told people like Shakespeare, Wordsworth and many others possessed in the olden days.

To me, and let me clarify it, this is my bias; language is how we make people feel, how we make ourselves feel.

If we use negative language and negative words, there is a change in our psychology and mindset, even in our physiology, it disempowers us and, can take us down a path we might wish we never visited.

On the other hand, when the language we choose to use is positive (did I mention that we have the choice?), the results, well, are obvious, these words are healing, empowering, energetic, heartfelt and they will have the potential to transform lives, create results and move us towards our final destination, happiness (The Promised Land!), or whatever goal/outcome we are working towards.

If, to what we just touched on, we add action, planning and dedication; we will have a winning formula to accomplish whatever we set our minds to. The LoA (aka Law of Attraction) would be many times more effective because the use of our language fuels and inspires our biggest asset, our brain.

Positive language, positive self-talk can most certainly drive our psychology to get the results we want in our lives.

So, I wonder, if I may ask, how is your language impacting your life and the lives of those you meet? How is your language affecting your outcomes and goals, and whether to take action or not?

I am curious to know, please feel to share with me if you can. You can comment below or send me a pm or email (oh, and don’t forget to share J).

Till next time, BTW, feel free to suggest what topics you would like me to cover, if I am able and it is a subject I am knowledgeable about, I would be delighted to give my (biased) opinion.

With all my love.

From my heart to yours,

 

Jorge

 

PS, email me on jorge@lifecoachsouthampton.co.uk if you wish to share how your language is affecting your outcomes or how it has affected your outcomes.

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Healthy Mind In A Healthy Body

A Healthy Mind In A Healthy Body

Is this the key to real success?

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Mens sana in corpore sano

When I was growing up I remember hearing the saying: a healthy mind in a healthy body.

To be frank and totally honest, I did not make any sense of this quote, to me it all sounded like a fancy saying, which meant a lot of nothing.

As you may remember, I grew up in Panama, a place many would call paradise on earth.

If you don’t know much about Panama, I will tell you a bit about it.

Panama is a small country, an isthmus which joins South America to Central America, that’s right Central America does exist! It is not a myth J.

In Panama, we are very lucky (oh, BTW I live in Britain now – a bit of a contrast lol), it is summer pretty much all year round. We have two seasons, a dry and a wet one, but even in the wet season temperatures don’t go any lower than 25 degrees.

The produce is always fresh, pretty much all organic and the flavours are all there, no seasoning needed, nature takes care of all of that.

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Good weather, sunny, the wind caresses your skin and plays with your hair, like you see in the movies. The beaches are sandy ones, warm waters, delicious fish and shellfish. Our rivers are refreshing and so clean.

In the countryside the air pollution is non-existent, life is pretty much the same it was over one hundred years ago.

All of that meant nothing to me, I took it all for granted.

Truth be told, I honestly thought everyone lived the same.

I will share something so funny, to show you how naïve I was (I can’t believe I am going to share this with you!), before I moved to England I genuinely thought that every country in the world had the same seasons as we did in Panama, that the days and nights lasted the same length of time and that the whole world was under the same time zone!!!

When I learned that this wasn’t so I realised how isolated I was from the world and I truly believed that Panama was the centre of the universe!

Well, enough said!

Those days are over, I did learn a bit more since then.

Now that you know a bit more about Panama and my “embarrassing” naivety, let’s get going with this blog.

I didn’t think much about that old saying.

It wasn’t until I moved to Britain in 2002, after having gained more than 30 lbs in about 3 months that I started to become more aware of what I ate and the impact it had in my life.

Even then, I was counting calories and “controlling” what I ate, yet not really embracing the concept of a “healthy mind”.

Those of you who live in Britain or know about the culture will know that this is a culture where alcohol is very appreciated, venerated some would say!

I moved here in my late teens, so I embraced the culture very well, in fact too well, that I became very social, and by that I mean a social drinker.

Still, I didn’t worry or bother too much about that old saying… A healthy mind in a healthy body, WT…!

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In my early 20’s I discovered Yoga, it was almost accidental, and no, I do not mean that I accidentally fell into the lotus pose; what I mean is I found myself going to a Hatha Yoga class and falling in love with everything Yoga stood for, breathing, meditation, fitness, and a “lifestyle”.

In my mid 20’s I finally got what people meant when they said that after certain age your body started to go against you, i.e. you start to “pile it on”, you have less “energy”, all in all you start “decaying” a lot quicker.

Yet, I didn’t make any sense of that old saying… blah, blah, blah.

Even though, I knew about personal development, I simply thought that the mind had nothing to do and no connection whatsoever with what I ate, nothing, nada, rien!

Then, one summer, I found myself making a decision, which to be honest even surprised me. This decision was to be a vegan.

I had tried being a veggie (not an actual vegetable BTW), and this lasted a few minutes, seconds after having made that decision in the past, I was caught stuffing my face with some steak, what a fraud.

Though, this time things were different. I felt compelled to make this work, something deep inside of me was telling me to give this a shot.

I had my partner laughing at me, saying how is it possible a cannibal like me could give his meat up, just like that and, he said: I don’t see you lasting more than two weeks.

Did I mention I did this for health reasons too?

Prior to this I had been to see a nutritionist, due to methane “issues”, after some investigating she determined I had two problems, 1) a “leaky” gut and, 2) “parasites” – various types of amoebas, to be more precise! (Later I was diagnosed with candidiasis, but that is a whole different story – there is some relevancy though).

Guess what? Even then, I still didn’t see the connection between a healthy this and a healthy of the other…

Going back to my “vegan” venture, after my first 2 weeks I was so energised, I could see a difference in my waist line, my skin complexion had never been so good, people noticed a change in my “energy” and energy levels, all in all everything was “better”.

The months I stayed as a vegan I felt a great connection to the universe, to people and to myself; I was able to think clearly and logically, my mind seemed to organise itself almost as if by magic.

The benefits were too many to count.

All because I was eating cleaner, just the way I used to back home.

At that moment, I remember an old saying I once heard: a healthy mind in a healthy body.

When I fully entered in the personal development world as coach, trainer and author I totally got what that saying meant.

I was able to comprehend the impact of what we eat has in our minds.

Simply put (this is biology 101 BTW), our brain needs glucose (a form or sugar – which it uses as fuel) to function properly, just imagine what happens to that engine if you give it the wrong fuel?

You are right, it would not function. It would be like putting diesel in a petrol car or vice versa, it would destroy it after a while.

The same happens to our brains, give it the wrong form of glucose, i.e. refined sugars, too much gluten, refined flours, etc., etc., and it becomes clunky, slows down and the way we respond and react to life suffers too.

If you go back to when you were a child, compared to your children, you will see a difference in your kitchen cupboards, pretty much everything comes out of a pack or can.

Do you think that your brain thrives from this kind of fuel?

I invite you to reflect on what you eat or, if you are braver reach to your kitchen cupboards and fridge and be honest, is what you have there fresh and good fuel for your brain?

What can you do right now to change that and give the right fuel to your brain, so you get the results you want in your life?

Want better health? Eat healthier.

Want to be leaner? Eat leaner foods.

Want to be more energised? Eat earth’s natural “red bull”.

All you have to do is switch the “manmade” stuff for the “naturemade” stuff, your body, your mind and your future self will thank you for it.

There is only one way to find out if this works and that is by trying it out by yourself.

Give it a go, you won’t regret it.

Who knows, what we eat might even be equal to our results.

Remember, a healthy body in a healthy mind or something like that… wait a minute, I got it (finally!), A Healthy MIND In A Healthy BODY.

I hope you have enjoyed this blog, please feel free to comment on it, give me some feedback and share it with others.

Till next time.

With all my love.

From my heart to yours,

 

Jorge

Why do people not invest on their minds?

Why do people not invest on their minds?

Are they missing out on their personal development?

 

When you go out and about, if you live in a big city, you will notice rows and rows of hair salons, beauty parlours, nail parlours, gyms, membership clubs (for golfers, tennis, swimmers, etc.), restaurants, cinemas, nightclubs (not that there is anything wrong in enjoying a night out every now and then!), theatres, aesthetic clinics (which aren’t cheap!), shopping centres, etc.; I could go on and on if I wanted to, I hope I am starting to paint the picture for you here.

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I am not going to deny I have been, in fact still am, guilty of going to these tempting places where you have the potential to work on your “social skills and life”, work on your body or against it (the choice is ours normally, don’t think anyone makes us!), we make ourselves look more attractive (externally); we even go to extremes to “feel” better about ourselves!

I was a confessed shop-aholic, until I discovered my shopping strategy (so I am saving lots and lots of money now); I still to this date invest in my well-being by going to the gym and eating the good stuff (I must confess I can be naughty at times too!), and working in an aesthetic clinic (best in the UK btw!) I too have had some treatments to make my looks last longer (preventative measures these are J); so I totally get why people do it.

However, not many of these places offer a good solution to peoples’ problems.

We live in a society, where unfortunately we want everything yesterday, today is too late, that instant gratification has become our worst enemy.

In my personal and humble opinion, I have noticed that people do not know enough about personal development and what it can do for them.

Before I go on (which I can do!), I would like to tell you a little about me.

I have been in personal development more than half my life. When I was a teenager I thought life was against me – I wore the biggest “victim” t-shirt going, I honestly thought I was doomed and my life would end up pretty bad!

For some strange reason, I was fascinated and mesmerised by science (for a good Catholic boy, anyway); so, I would do my best to find answers, I needed that empirical evidence that something was real or not, before I could make my mind up about something or anything.

This led me to read books (and I still do, loooove my books), I knew, in my heart, that I could overcome the obstacles I was facing, being a Catholic gay boy in a very macho society isn’t really ideal; so, my search continued…

I was the president of a local library, at this time I was fortunate to have come across a private library that had been donated to the library, as the president I was given the task to go through the books and choose the ones that were fit for the library and the rest, well I could either take them or they would have been thrown away (I can’t believe people throw books away!).

Among these books, there were hundreds of titles that grabbed my attention, filled my heart with hope and sounded like the solution to my problems (they ones I thought I had!), many of the titles were self-help book, DIY books essentially, I read some of them and found them pointless, others where OK, but one never left my mind, this book was The Unlimited Power by Tony Robbins (the then Anthony Robbins), this book blew my mind away, and allowed me to see  what was possible not only with NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) and personal development.

It is fair to say that I, too, have been touched by Tony Robbins’ inspiration, like many other millions around the globe.

Now, going back to the subject at hand, I have noticed that most people think or imagine that personal development either doesn’t “work”, is too “expensive”, is for “gifted” people, is for “rich” people, is for the “chosen” ones, is not “fast” enough, etc., the list could go on.

The truth is, personal development is part of us, of our “journey”, part of our “evolution”, our birthright, is finding the truth of who we are, as put by Campbell: it is our Hero’s Journey.

Personal development gives us the opportunity to work on the most important “muscle” we possess, our brain, our mind, which rules over and controls everything we do, the decisions we make, the actions we take or not, the movements we do, the thoughts we have, the creative moments we have, the positive or negative self-talk, and much more.

For those who are fans of the gym, the more you use a muscle the bigger it gets, simple! The mind is that muscle, we take for granted, many people around the world only exercise it till they go to college or University, after that, well – the usage is very low and limited, just take a look around you, do you think that all the violence, fear, anger and negativity portrayed by the media is showing people who use their minds and brains effectively and for the highest good of humanity, of course not!

When you embark in the world of personal development is like stepping in a fantasy land, you discover that absolutely anything is possible if you set your mind to it and it is in alignment with your values and heart’s desires.

If you are an athlete or gymgoer, or if you have a business or have a senior position at work; whether you are “young” or “old”, the more you work on yourself (i.e. your mind, aka, you mindset) and capabilities the better you do at sport, the more you are recognised at work and the result (I like to call this the bonus track, by the way), life just gets easier.

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You see, when you learn that in life there are two options you either act or react, in a nutshell, you either do it or you don’t.

In personal development you learn that you are in control, you are the captain of your ship, you are the CEO of your life and whether something happens or not, it is your call, you call the shots, no one else.

The more you work on yourself, the more you work on your mind the better you get, the better your results, the better your life.

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When people go to the hair salon, or beautician, if they aren’t working on themselves it would NOT matter how much money they spend on themselves or how good they look, if they don’t work on the deep stuff, if they don’t work on their minds, those exterior things will make no difference, it will only be a temporary mask or cover up.

If you go to the gym, or if you are dieting, if you don’t work on your emotions or your mind, the results you get will be momentary and you might find yourself going back to square zero, yo-yo dieting, and guess what? That money will have been wasted.

This, does NOT happen in personal development, it is all an investment!

Dining out, going for a walk, dancing till the sun comes out, if you aren’t working on yourself are forms of escapism, and it will not matter how much you try and how many times you go out, each and every time you go back home or back to work, you will be facing the same reality, nothing will change until you do something about it.

As said, I enjoy those things mentioned earlier, I have a personal trainer, I like to look after myself, I love going out, like many of us do; though, I understand that in order to get results at the gym, in life or in general, I must work on the most important asset I possess, my mind.

Without personal development, doing all the things I do, would be like shooting an arrow without a goal, arrows would be shot aimlessly and someone could be hurt.

Just think, how many times have you acted without thinking, and has anyone around you been hurt?

On the contrary, when you have thought things through, have you felt the difference?

Personal development isn’t expensive, if the next door Latino neighbour (oh, by the way, I am from Panama) can afford it, anyone can afford it, I mean it anyone!

Once I attended a seminar, which totally revolutionised my life, here the coach said something I will never ever in a billion years forget, he said: when you truly want something, anything in life, you will find the money, time and energy to make it happen.

OMG, I saw the light. At that moment I had been in the personal development world for over a decade and this was it!

You see, real change doesn’t happen overnight, it takes time, it is like a bank account, the more you add to it the better and bigger the interest, in this case the interest is a better life, a life of possibilities and options.

You needn’t be afraid, you needn’t be worried, if you want to be a better person, get to work, but work on yourself and your mind.

I have noticed and experienced that people are afraid or fearful of their own success, or change, or not being liked anymore; the truth is, who cares.

Truth be told, in personal development you DO NOT change a thing, you simply are a better version of yourself.

When you are in a better place or better frame of mind you learn that the only opinion that really matters is that you have about yourself, the way you see yourself.

What are you waiting for?

If you want to achieve a goal or make your dreams come true get working, right now.

I recommend a great book, by this awesome chap Jorge Vence (wait a minute, that’s me!), in his book entitled Growing Confident he shares his story with the reader, worth your read, and packed with some useful tips and exercises to get you going in your personal development journey.

Or, if you want to get things going and are really really serious about your development as a person and committed to yourself, contact me, and let’s have a 30-minutes free consultation to see where you want to be and how we can make it happen. Yes, I will take you by the hand and help you get to where you want to be. How cool is that?

I look forward to hearing from you real soon, and who knows maybe even see you in my Harley Street clinic, or in my Southampton clinic to make your dreams and goals come true.

Please like, share and comment on this blog.

Till next time.

With all my love,

From my heart to yours,

 

Jorge

 

Now is the Time

Now is the time

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 You have come so far,

Yet, the journey has just begun

Wake up! Wake up!

Don’t turn your back on the now,

Let go of the past,

What purpose does it serve you?

Where can you find that what you seek?

Isn’t the present the future you once dreamt?

Where has it gone?

What have you done?ElectronicAwakening-Image2

Wake up! Wake up!

Aren’t dreams anything but fantasies?

Is reality but a bad dream?

What do to? Where to go?

The past has left you behind,

Betrayed you with a false good-bye

Too late, too soon, it was gone.

Wake up! Wake up!

The clock is ticking,

Surrender your stubbornness,

Accept, you are all that matters

Yesterday has left you,

Tomorrow awaits you,

Trust and belief, the time is right

Your dues have been paid

Freedom has found you

Let it in, let it stay

Conquer your fears,

Let go of your yesterdays

Welcome your tomorrows

Wake up! Wake up!

The time is right, the time is now,

Now is the time,

Now is your time.

Jorge

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Control. Who is in charge of your life?

Control

Who is in charge of your life?

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It has been a while since I have put fingers to keyboard. Since the last blog on the 1st of January I have embarked on a journey of self-discovery, learning and experiencing so I can share with you my findings.

Many of us have heard the quote by Ford: Whether you think you can or not, you are right!

In the last few months I have come to the understanding that it isn’t that straightforward, it may appear simple, the reality is less so.

When we learn there are four stages in the learning process:

  • Unconscious incompetence – we don’t know what we don’t know,
  • Conscious incompetence – we know what we don’t know,
  • Conscious competence – we know what we know, and
  • Unconscious competence – we don’t know what we know or mastery!

So I have concluded that until we step into the conscious incompetence sphere in life, we won’t be able to determine what we can or not do. All else is just but an assumption.

Fear on the other hand, is what has been driving many people for centuries, generations of families, groups and societies. This fear, is much more than the acronym it has been given many times – False expectations appearing real! –

What is driving this fear? Or the force behind it? In my experience and understanding it is stress, due to the environment, our behaviours and beliefs in general.

So, we go in life (and I include myself here!), creating this pseudo reality, a stress-packed and stress-full life and reality, where we don’t trust our feelings, emotions and inner guidance; dreams don’t matter any longer and the spark we were once born with slowly fades away, ultimately we miss out on what could have been our biggest and best achievements and successes in life.

Stress, in my opinion stands for (why not give it an acronym too!)

  • Silly,
  • Tormenting,
  • Ridiculous,
  • Endless,
  • Self-
  • Sabotaging.

Do I need to expand on what these mean?

What to do then?

Simple, make a decision, just one decision, THE single most important decision you will have ever made in your life, right now. Step off your comfort zone and explore life on the “conscious incompetence level”, explore something new, something that scares you and allows you to grow as an individual.

In my case, that “something” scary was to be true to myself, and tap into my mission and purpose in this life-time, which is to help people find their mission and purpose in life. It wasn’t easy, I had to explore the unknown (to me), grow and evolve so I could find my strengths and opportunities around me.

Before then, I only focussed on the “stick”, my weaknesses and threats… In a nutshell I was stressed and I did not know it; fear took over and imprisoned me in a jail of my own creation which was strengthened by own liming beliefs and demons.

Now, on this side of the comfort zone, what can I say? I am here, typing this blog for you to read and ignite that flame, passion and life, in you.

Go and take control of your life, grab the pen and start writing your own story.

handwriting

What will you do differently from now?

Share with me.

Jorge

JV Mind and Soul Awakener

Healing the Self

Healing the Self

First and foremost I would like to clarify the real meaning of healing. Healing is the process and restoration of health or well-being from an unbalanced, diseased or damaged organism to a normal and “balanced” state.

So, why the importance of healing the self? The answer is simple, to bring ourselves into alignment with our purpose in life and lead a happy and fulfilling life.

I understand that it all sounds too easy, and it isn’t, it requires time, dedication and effort.  But once you achieve it you will start to notice the benefits.

What gives the authority to even touch on this subject?

Let me tell you a bit more about myself. I am a Life Coach and I specialise in Spiritual Coaching, also I am a Reiki Master Practitioner and Teacher, Energy Healer and Energy Psychologist. From my work I have learned the importance of keeping and cultivating a healthy Mind and Soul, how it affects our daily activities and our perception of the world around us.

You are probably asking yourself, OK, how do I heal the self? My mind and soul? Here is what has worked for me, it isn’t set on stone, give it a go and feel free to contact me to share your results.

It all begins with the desire to want to change and improve your life. By change I mean want to improve your standard of life and relationships or whatever you may want.

Once you have identified what needs changing. Keep a diary of it. Notice where it happens, who is involved, what you are doing at the time it happens. This could be a habit, an addiction or simply a behaviour you would like to change.

After you find what triggers you, sleep on it, meditate. Explore where it all stems from. It could be linked to an earlier incident in your childhood or teen years; a belief you created to protect yourself and has continued to hinder your progress in life.

When you face your trigger, do what you can to walk away from it; take a deep breath in or count up to 10. If you manage to successfully avoid any confrontation or set back, ask yourself: What can I do next time to not find myself in similar situations? Where did it go wrong? Did I get myself into this intentionally?

Listen to the answers you get and do not dismiss them, written them down in your journal if you have any, or start one.

All good so far but how do it heal myself? You are probably asking yourself.

The next step is to explore the “underworld” of the subconscious mind, that place where we bury memories and emotions that we found hurtful and dangerous; yes, we step into those areas of our mind we wished we never had to face again.

There is three ways we can work in this underworld or battlefield of the mind, these are:

  • Meditation, simply by closing our eyes holding that emotion, feeling or nothingness and chasing it; allowing whatever we get to come forward to reveal itself, then do your very best to find the correlation with the situation. For example if you have is irritability and everyone triggers you, no matter where you are or what you do, everything irritates you. Hold that state of irritability as you close your eyes and allow your innate intelligence, your inner cosmos to take where it feels you need to go to. See what see, hear what you hear and feel what you feel. Once an image comes to mind, let it develop in your mind and see the relevance and notice where it takes you to, stay there as long as it takes. At the end, write down any information or revelations you may have had from the experience. Do it as often as you feel it is necessary and beneficial to you. I personally prefer to keep it as a daily ritual where I explore my inner world after any negative and see where I need to work on.
  • Matrix Reimprinting. What the…? I can hear you say… Let me tell you a bit more about Matrix Reimprinting. Matrix Reimprinting is a fairly new therapy, it is a technique derived from EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques), which has been around for over 20 years. In EFT you “tap” on specific tapping points which correlate to meridians found in the body, it is like acupuncture but without the needles. In Matrix Reimprinting the Practitioner taps on the client, or you tap on yourself as you step into the “Matrix”, which is all around us and accessible to us at any time. In here we use the concept of Quantum Physics. Once you go into the matrix, you replay the scene or memory that “troubles” you; the only limit is your imagination. Your goal is to “alter” or “change” aspects of the memory you feel are the cause to your “issues”. You can work on the matrix as often as needed, and change as many elements as you find necessary. At the end you “reimprint” the new memory and it gets sent to the heart centre, “our true mind”. Many people feel the benefits of this therapy with only one session, others may need 5 or more.
  • Energy healing, there are many forms of energy healing, I will only touch on Reiki on here. Reiki literally means Universal Energy, which is all around us and accessible to all at any time. This wonderful energy is available to all, however, in order to feel the “true” Reiki experience you have to either be initiated into Reiki or go to Reiki Practitioner to feel this energy. What Reiki does is it released blocked energy from the body; it is these blockages that become negative emotions, illness, disease and beliefs. The Reiki Energy is so smart that it goes where it is required, the practitioner may direct the energy specifically where it is needed or the energy simply travels where it is most needed. The more Reiki you get, the more you are able to notice the difference, you see the clarity in issues, that there isn’t a victim or a perpetrator, we simply co-create the reality we manifest, simply put, we are all guilty or victims of our own actions. As the saying goes: it takes two to tango. Reiki has been around for over 100 years, however, energy healing has been available for millennia, we just forgot about it.

These three simple yet so powerful tools, can so positively help you move towards your happier, fuller and more whole self.

Another easy technique and perhaps the most powerful of all is the tact. When was last time you physically gave yourself a pat on the back? Or gave yourself a hug? Or just put your hands on your heart and felt it beat?

We forget, how wonderful it feels to feel our skin, the hairs on our body, or just being aware of our breath. What I would suggest, is daily spend some time with yourself, 5, 10, 15 minutes or however long you can afford.

What is your body telling you? Open your third eye or intuition and pay attention what your body tells you. Is it asking you to rest? Is it telling you you need to eat? Or is thanking you for recharging your batteries and getting in touch with it.

As children, we all experience how our parents rush towards us when we fall off our bicycles and graze our body, the hug us, kiss us and make all go away, simply being there works for us. Then, why not do the same for ourselves when we have a bad day? When nothing seems to go right in our lives…

I invite you and encourage you to rekindle your relationship with your body and your “self”; heal it by being kind to it and being present, eat healthily, exercise, treat it to a pampering weekend, and let go of your worries. And on a daily basis touch your “temple”, your body and send it love, send it kindness; and it will reciprocate.

I look forwards to hearing from you and how see how you got on.

Much love,

Jorge

Choices make a day good or bad!

Choices make a day good or bad!


How many times do we hear people saying one of the following?

My day could not get any worse! – Nah, I’ve had better days! – It could be worse! – It goes from bad to worse! –  Bad things happen in threes!

Does it sound familiar?

To most of us this is a daily occurrence when we engage in conversations with others. There are even times we fall into the trap and we find ourselves too whinging non-stop!

What if I told you, from the second we wake up, we are making the choice to either have good or bad day? It may sound too good to be true, but is a true, sadly for most.

I will explain how what we do and think shape the decisions we make.

But first I would like to share with you a little story. Back in 2002 when I moved to the UK from The Americas I found myself in a new environment, with far too much time in my hands and I had nothing to kill it with, inevitably it affected my self-esteem as you could imagine; crazy thoughts invaded my head, and I would try anything to walk away from solitude, boredom and having to learn a new language. That’s right English isn’t my first language, so I apologise in advance if certain things do not make sense, or words are the other way around!

In one of my low moments, after constant self-sabotage I decided to man up and tackle the issue at hand i.e. the way I felt so I went onto the net and on the search engine bar I typed “What is the secret of happiness?” I was gobsmacked to the fact that people had thought of asking the very same question before and worse still an answer or many answers should I say, had been uploaded onto the net!!!

So I proceeded to read and there were two stories that did really stand out, I will only touch on one for today though.

It went like this, how many times I hear people complaining and whinging about their lives! People having a bad day at work, hating their boss, missing the bus or simply having to queue for a coffee! So, what I’d do is to say, do you mind if I ask you five questions? To which many would reply yes (quite confused!). Did you have breakfast this morning? An affirmative reply would be mumbled. Do you have a roof over your head? Same again. Did you wake up to a nicely ironed suit? At this point I could see many people’s faces starting to change, and in many occasions I would not even have to finish the questions as by this point they would realise their worries or problems were not that important.

It was reading this that I had my eureka moment or epiphany. Whether I had a good or bad day it was all down to me. If I chose to let my next door neighbour get on my nerves, I made that choice, likewise if I decided to let it go and ignore it, it was my choice too.

Sadly it took me a little longer than I imagined to really figure out what was meant on that article. I read it for the first time at the age of 19 and it wasn’t until I was in my late 20’s that I really “got” it.

With my background in sciences, my passion for spirituality, management and leadership skills I was open to the “nonsense” of choosing to have a good day or a bad one. In my mid-teens I read a book on NLP – Neuro Linguistic Programming – where amongst learning styles there was a section on self-esteem and limiting beliefs, which stayed in the back of my head for many years. So I guess I was not at all ready to apply what I “thought” I knew.

Many years passed, life passed, I grew older and experienced more of life. Or perhaps, it would be more accurate to say life taught me a few lessons, which thank god I chose to pay attention to.

And after having woken up and practiced what I knew, rather than preaching it, I started to see a change in the way my days went on; my relations and communications with people improved, and better still the way I felt about myself changed forever and continues to be. I simply chose on a daily basis to have a great day, nothing drastic or major, just small steps to feel better and enjoy every day as it came.

In the last 2 years I have reaped the benefits of choosing to have a good day and I would love to share it with you, so you too can feel the benefits.

So here is a quick summary of some key principles of what I have learned in order to have a good day or in this case to choose to have a good day:

  1. Open you heart. I used to say to people, I love you with all my brain, as I used to believe the brain controlled the heart, how wrong was I! The brain has its own memory and according to some researches the heart receives information before the brain does. When you look at someone lovingly they perceive it and send love back to you, and the opposite is also true, if you remain closed emotionally people will also notice it and treat accordingly, treat people the way you would like to be treated, with love and kindness, and all of that starts with the self, You, if you have been hurt, maybe, and I stress maybe, the person you haven’t yet forgiven (and perhaps the most important of them all!) is You. Begin by accepting and loving yourself for who and what you are. When you learn to love yourself and accept your flaws you will start to notice the difference, your heart will heal and open.
  2. Mindfulness. Another misconception I had was that mindfulness was just being mindful of other people and their emotions. Mindfulness is all about being present, living the now, letting go of the past and not worrying about the future. It is as simple as enjoying drinking a glass of water, being aware of the water in the glass, the water touching your lips and not forgetting that what you are drinking is water; another example giving your full attention to someone, putting the mobile phone down during dinner, etc.
  3. Use affirmations, or positive talk. Rather than punishing yourself and abusing yourself 24/7, be your best cheerleader by using affirmations and use positive language. An affirmation (which should be stated in the present and positively) is a sentence we repeat over and over, so it sinks into the subconscious mind until it happens or become true. Repetition is the key to success, remember success mean different things to each of us; being kind to yourself can be tricky and the biggest success you will ever achieve.
  4. Eat well. We constantly hear, we are what we eat yet no one really explains what is meant by it. I understand we live in a very demanding society where at work we are expected to do much more than we are paid for, commuting, the stress of the current economic climate, etc., I get it I have been there. Food is energy, if you eat heavy meals your body will demand much more energy to digest the saturated fats, refined carbohydrates, etc., so rather than working with your body and using its natural engine, you are working against it, wasting fuel, wasting energy and with each mouthful of food you are slowing yourself down and feeling worse off. Eating well also means keeping yourself hydrated, not with fizzy drinks or caffeinated drink, but water, which helps detoxify the body and reenergises the engine.
  5. Smile. Yes Smile! When you wake up, look at your reflection in the mirror and smile at yourself, set yourself up for a great start. If you consciously say to yourself, that’s it, today I will not let anything spoil or ruin my day, I will be present, open my heart and respect myself, I choose to have a fantastic day; you will notice your day will go smoothly or at least better than when you wake up complaining of the day ahead. If you feel you can’t smile, guess what you can do? Fake it till you believe it, fake it until it comes naturally, trust me it works!
  6. Meditate, reflect upon your day. One thing I found many of us, myself included do not do enough of, is reflect on the day gone, think what could have I done differently? What could have I said differently? Run the movie in your head of what it would have been like had you or the other people involved done it the imagined way? There is an incredible therapy called Matrix Reimprinting where you can rerun the movie in your head and build it the way you would have liked it to be and reap the benefits by surrogacy. Another method of achieving similar results is by meditating and getting in touch with our godly essence and learn from it, the more we practice it the more we get into the zone, where there’s no worries or fears, and all is love and possible.
  7. Be compassionate, empathetic. How many times do we forget other people have lives too! We forget people struggle the same way we do, people have financial worries, lose loved ones, people generally have bad days too!!! Fact! So deal with it. You are not alone, Bill next door has his own issues to deal with, why not rather than locking horns when something goes wrong, just say: It is OK, not to worry we can sort it out later! Discuss it another time or simply approach it in a calm manner, like adults with understanding and empathy. If you have a volatile personality, leave the room, walk away from the situation until you cool down and can tackle it more objectively. It isn’t easy but practice makes perfect, try it one day and the next, and the next until it becomes a habit. Your overall health will thank you for it.
  8. Practice gratitude! How often do we take for granted everything we have? I can honestly say I forget too often! Be grateful for the roof over your head, your health, your family, your job (although you may not feel it), your vision, your hearing, for making it through the night alive. I grew up in a family that use to say grace before every meal, and because I was immature I could not realise what grace was all about. It took me almost two decades to figure it out, “to get it”, that grace is just that gratitude for our daily bread; we have no idea of how many people around the globe would die to have our leftovers, or a fraction of our plate. So why not honour it and thank your boss for employing you, your wife/husband/maid for cooking it, the grocers for stocking the ingredients up, the farmer for growing the vegetables and rearing the animals, the wind for spreading the seeds so the plants could grow, the sun for allowing the seeds to spring, and the list goes on and on. And do not forget to thank the most important person in the equation, yourself, for working hard, earning the money and providing for your family.
  9. Exercise, mobility and fitness. When was the last time you went for a country walk and smelled the freshly mowed grass? When was the last time you ran for miles that you forgot how good it feels to be alive? When we exercise we release endorphins and these endorphins send signals to the brain that make us feel happy, content and satisfied with the world and ourselves. When we exercise we are present and nothing else matters, we may do it for many reasons, vanity, necessity, companionship, etc., it doesn’t matter what your agenda it, either way you are oiling the engine up, you fuel it up when you eat, and exercising allows it to run how it is meant to, effortlessly. We hear often enough, our bodies are our temples, so why not look after it, keep it in good condition. Would you like to live in a building that is falling apart or in a modern, funky and exciting building? The choice is yours. Walk whenever possible, breath fresh air, do some stretches. Your joints and muscles will thank you in the long run.
  10. Finally, and I find it is the most important piece of advice I can give you educate yourself. What? I can hear you say. How does the saying go? Knowledge is power… So why not gain that knowledge and use the power to our advantage? There are countless books in so many subjects, they may all seem different, but the underlying message is still the same, to improve and better ourselves. We have come so far as a civilization, from our cave days to an era of incredible and mind blowing technology, we all we need is at our finger tips. Knowledge isn’t about being a know-it-all, a brainiac or a nerd, knowledge is about understanding, but of the self. Think, how can you be better? What can you do to make your day better than the day before or a year before? The more we learn and apply what we learn the more responsive we become, our overall attitude towards live changes, and this doesn’t necessarily mean you have to change, I am a great believer we don’t change, we evolve, not only biologically, but spiritually and mentally too. When you educate yourself you realise, there is no need to lose your temper or swear or cry; let it be, let it go and learn from the experience, analyse it and say to yourself what can I do differently tomorrow so it doesn’t happen again? Try it, give a go, pick a book up, and with an open mind absorb its message.

I firmly believe if you use these key principles, one at the time, two or more at the time or all of them at the time you will feel and see the difference. We hear people often say, I wish this or that person could change, but what about us? Are we 100% perfect? Don’t think so. In fact no one needs to change, we ought to evolve and strive towards our magic essence, the divine perfection we all have deep inside of us.

A great role model and inspiration of mine, a public speaker Jim Rohn says we are the average of the 5 people closest to us, take a good look at the people you are spending your time with, are they propelling you towards where you want to be? Or just hindering your every move? I am not by all means saying you must alienate people from your life, rather watch and listen to them, are they positive, optimistic people who choose to have a god day? Or a complainer, whinger and moaner? If the latter is the case, then think; do I want to be like them? Continue to choose to have bad days? Ask yourself, how can I help my dearest and nearest to be positive and optimistic?

Be the beacon that shines the light of optimism in everyone lives. Be the one who always has an amazing day, because you choose it to be that way. Be the person who everyone wants to hang out with. Be the best version of yourself.

Hey, I am only here to advice you on the little I know, the choice is yours.

Much Love,

Jorge

P.s I would love to hear from you and any comments or feedback you may have.